Letting Go of Normal
by Wylis
Summary: After turning her back on everything and trying to live a 'normal' life, Sookie discovers there's no leaving the supernatural within her. Can she and Eric ever have a second chance. Post D and G
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So starting a new fic. I wanted to apologize for just posting one chapter, that's not usually my thing, but this new one is a bit heavy and it's taking a lot more thought than my other stories did. I will be doing a multi-chapter update later in the week though._

_**I need to give a super, super HUGE thank you to my beta and editor Sheknitsnicely. You are so awesome, and your ideas and inspiration are invaluable, this story is totally a team effort and I could not be more grateful that you are my beta!**_

_Okay last note, if you've read any of my stories you know I don't write puppies, kittens, rainbows or sunshine, this story is no different. There will be a lot of angst, but just like all my other stories E and S will end together and hopefully stronger for all they've gone through._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing! On with the show..._

Sookie's POV

As I make the walk from the cemetery back to my old farmhouse, I almost can't believe that I'm here again. So many years of wandering, and I'm sure that there will be many more, but hopefully I can rest here for at least a little while.

To say that life hasn't worked out as I planned would be about the biggest understatement ever. As I think back on the last sixty-five years, I have to say that I don't know if I can handle even another sixty-five more, but then I suppose I have little choice in the matter. Still, perhaps I can find a way to make the next half century or so less of a total waste than the previous.

After the attack by Lochlan and Naeve I couldn't handle anything. I was injured both physically and mentally and the anger that welled up in me every time I thought about what I had gone through would almost choke me if it didn't have some kind of outlet or target. With Amelia gone back to New Orleans and my few friends believing I had been in a car accident, my nearest target was usually Eric. There wasn't much I didn't blame him for. I blamed him for my involvement in the supernatural world, I blamed him for every bad thing that had ever happened to me, I blamed him for being cursed, and for forgetting me after the curse, and for not coming for me when I was being tortured. I'm sure I even blamed him for the summer heat and the rain.

No matter how much you love someone that kind of vitriol would be hard for anyone to bear, but most especially a man as proud as Eric. It wasn't long after I had fully physically recovered that he finally threw up his hands and called uncle. He would always protect me he said, but any hope of renewing our personal relationship was over. He could not take me, and to be honest at that point in my life I could barely take me either.

A week after we... I guess you would say we broke up, even though we were never really back together (except for that one night), I made a decision. I could go back to all the Vampire shit and supernatural crap that was clearly going to eventually get me killed, or I could get out, stop complaining that my life wasn't normal and really try to make that happen. I suppose knowing that Eric wouldn't even talk to me at that point was a big factor in making my decision, but honestly I would have made it in any case. I needed to try to rest, I needed to try to live without fear, I needed to try for that ellusive 'normal'.

When I walked back into Merlotte's five weeks after the fairy attack, I was determined. Perhaps it was wrong of me to single out Sam as the one who could give me normal, especially since he wasn't technically anymore normal than me, but I knew that he could give me the steady life, the days in the sunshine, and the family that I wanted. And in all honesty, I had always felt something more than friendship for Sam and always found him attractive; he was a natural choice. Of course, it didn't hurt that I knew he would be so happy to have my attention that he wouldn't question too closely suddenly being brought off my back burner. My reasons for choosing Sam might not have been the most romantic, and certainly if he could have looked into my head he might not have liked what he saw, but I was beyond silly notions of true love and destiny at that point. I wanted what I wanted and I was picking the person I thought was the best candidate to give it to me.

Sam and I married the next year and, despite my unromantic reasons for choosing him, I have to tell you that I was happy. I truly, truly cared for him and he truly cared for me, and I did everything that I could to be the perfect fiancee, then the perfect wife, and I hoped after not too long to be the perfect mother to what I was sure would be our perfect children. I was so filled with hope that I almost never thought of the man I'd left behind or the love that I somehow always felt, at the back of my mind, might have been the defining happiness of my life. But the few times I let myself think about Eric I always shoved it right down. He came with too much baggage I was no longer willing to accept.

Sam and I tried for five years to have children, but it never happened. At first, Sam would always tell me that it didn't matter to him if we ever had kids or not, but I knew that he truly wanted them, and truthfully I did too. I finally had a life that was safe enough, stable enough to bring kids into, and I wanted them... I'd always wanted them.

It wasn't until we started getting fertility treatments that the reason we couldn't have children came out. At first, we visited normal doctors and normal fertility clinics. We attempted all of the tried and true remedies to infertility and, of course, none of them worked. Finally, after a particularly devastating round of IVF, Sam finally suggested that, perhaps with our both rather abnormal genetic make ups, we should see Dr. Ludwig. When he first brought it up I flatly refused; after all, we were trying to be normal, I didn't want to go and see a supernatural doctor, but after a while I had to agree he was right.

As it turns out, there was absolutely not a thing wrong with Sam, he was healthy and his swimmers were just as healthy. The problem was me. It turns out that, as I was getting older, I was becoming more fae. Dr. Ludwig was at a loss as to explain why this was (I was only an eighth fae after all, and even at a quarter fae my father had managed to have two children just fine!), but there was no denying it. I was becoming more and more like a full fairy with all the good and bad things that came with it. Of course, at that point it seemed like all bads to me. I didn't want any fancy new powers, I didn't want to be allergic to lemons and iron, and I didn't want to have the pesky fairy genes that had so much trouble reproducing. But I did. I was increasingly fae and therefore probably not capable of having a child, for all the reasons that normal fairies were having problems, and there was really no help for it.

At first Sam and I talked about adopting, but the stress of five years of trying and failing was taking it's toll on us and we both realized we couldn't handle more years of adoption turmoil after what we'd already been through. Knowing that Sam and I would not have children was a heavy blow to our marriage, but not the final one. That wouldn't come for another ten years. Sam had always been older than me and he was approaching fifty and I was forty two, except I didn't look forty-two, I looked about twenty-five. No, the final blow to my dreams of normal fell on me all at once, the day that I finally accepted that I wasn't aging. It wasn't that I was aging really well, or that I just hadn't gotten gray hairs yet, it was that I was not aging at all. I looked and felt like a woman in her twenties and, even though Sam and I stayed together for another few years, it was painfully obvious that my physical state was remaining the same.

We had left Bon Temps shortly after we gave up the ghost on becoming parents. We moved to Baton Rouge, feeling that maybe a fresh start and a new place would help us to get over things. It worked for a while, but after eighteen years of marriage, Sam called uncle too. If I was honest with myself, one of the reasons that I'd destroyed my relationship with Eric was because, deep down, I was insecure. He would stay young and beautiful for eternity and I would age, so I thought. If I had bothered to ask him, I'm sure Eric would have told me all the very romantic things that every woman longs to hear: how he would love me always, no matter what I looked like, and stay with me proudly until the end. And on days when I'm honest with myself, I know that he probably would have kept those promises, but it was me who couldn't handle it. How could I let him walk around tied to someone who looked like his grandmother? I couldn't. So it was the height of irony, or maybe I should call it poetic justice, that now I was in the exact reverse of that situation.

Sam loved me, and I loved him, but his insecurities couldn't handle the constant looks and comments we got from strangers. People thought we were the quintessential old man with money and his bimbo, gold-digger young wife.

Looking back, I know that I made a lot of decisions for the wrong reasons, but I never used Sam. I cared for him very deeply when I chose to give us a chance, and over the years I grew to truly love him. He was every bit the good, honorable man that he promised he would be and, when I opened my heart to him, he never dissappointed me. So, when I signed our divorce papers it was with a feeling of such loss that I almost couldn't bear it. All those promises that I'm sure Eric would have made to me, I made them over and over to Sam, but he didn't want them anymore than I had, and I had to respect that, even if it hurt like a bitch.

After our divorce I traveled around a lot. I think for a long time I kept expecting that I would eventually start aging. After all, I was only an eighth fae, maybe that would give me longer but surely I wasn't going to have the life span of a full fairy? Of course, since almost all the fairies were gone, there were very few people around to ask. Claude and I talked about it one time, but he told me in no uncertain terms, that with so little fairy in me, none of this should be possible. Apparently even as a supernatural I was a freak. I tried to make the best of things for a long time. I enjoyed one new place after another, and got to see a great deal of the world. The money that Niall and Claudine left me ensured that I didn't really need to work and that was good because, even though I did usually have a job, I never stayed in one place long enough to make any real money. Yet always in the back of my mind there was that hope that I would start to change, but it never happened and, after a while, I was forced to accept it, even if I hated it.

No matter how much you travel though, home always calls you back, and a few months ago, I made the decision that I wanted to return to Bon Temps. The old farmhouse was still mine and I needed to go home and reconnect with who I was, now that I had accepted what I was.

I was sad to find out when I returned home that Sam had died. He'd come back just after our divorce and, for a while, we had kept in touch. I knew that he'd married a woman in her mid- forties a few years later and that they had actually had a child together. I had wanted to attend his funeral but I had no idea how much he'd told his new family and I didn't know what lies I could tell or what they already knew, so I just stayed away. But this afternoon I'd felt the need to walk up to his grave and really say goodbye to him. I'd laid flowers and talked to him a little about how I was doing and how much I missed him and always would, but in the end the conversation was too one sided to continue.

My farmhouse is coming into view again when, in the early summer twilight, I see a figure sitting on my porch. I'd gone over across the cemetery to say hi to Bill when I'd first come back a few days ago and so I suppose I wasn't surprised by my visitor now. It was probably only a matter of time before one of them came round.

"Hey Pam," I said, as though it hadn't been more than half a century since I'd seen her.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: As always I want to thank everyone who took the time to review my story, put it on alert, and in their favorites! You all rock and it really kept me writing! I also want to thank my amazing, perfect, awesome beta sheknitsnicely- no one has ever had a more wonderful beta, you are FABULOUS!_

_Okay last note- I promised you angst was coming and here it is. Please don't despair, there is a a happy ending coming, but my problem with starting any story after Dead and Gone or Dead in the Family is that I don't see how you get to a functional happy relationship from the ending of either of those books. So, I think you just have to scrap everything and pretty much start again. So, this story is really about after all that angst Sookie and Eric rebuilding their relationship from the ground up, trust and friendship first, the good stuff later. Okay on with the show! :)_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing..._

Sookie's POV

Pam stands up as I walk over to her and I can see the look of astonishment on her face.

"Wow," she says, clearly still her old subtle self. "Bill told me you hadn't changed, but really I thought he was just doing that thing that humans sometimes do, where they lie to be nice about something, even when it's not really true." I sigh heavily.

"It's really great to see you too after so long. I'm doing great, thanks for asking. How are y'all over in Shreveport?" By now I'm standing in front of her and wondering if I can actually have this converstation all on the porch in the next five minutes without having to invite her in. I know, I know my poor Gran would be turning in her grave if she could read my rude thoughts; Pam and I were friends once and it's not her fault that I can't handle my own life, the old one or the current one. But I really don't want to talk to her. She is too much of a painful reminder of her maker.

"Actually, that is why I'm here. We are not all doing well in Shreveport." I look at her and suddenly, with a sinking feeling, I know this isn't a social call.

"Listen Pam, I'm real sorry about that but I doubt that Eric has anything he really wants to say to me, and I pretty much said it all a long time ago." Pam actually breaks her emotionless mask long enough to give me an exasperated look and then she's all back to business again.

"If you are referring to your brief and ill considered personal attachment, you are correct Eric no longer has anything to say on that topic. However, as I said all is not well in Shreveport and despite my advice to the contrary, my maker believes that you're help would be invaluable. So I am bid to come here and ask you to accompany me back to Shreveport and meet with him."

"Pam, please, I didn't come back to Bon Temps just to be pulled back into all of your Vampire shit, okay? I just want some peace and quiet." I try to sound confident and final about where I stand, but just as I'm about to walk past her I see her face change. The mask is gone and there is a deep, distinct look of pain on her face.

"Sookie, please. I'm not here to ask you to have mercy on my master, and Eric did not send me simply hoping to renew your acquaintance. What was between you is done and you are both clearly aware of that. I'm here because he needs help and he believes that you are the only person qualified to give it. After everything that you put him through, can you not find it in your heart to help him, just this once?" Wow, if Pam had threatened me or tried to coerce me in any way I would have stood my ground. I'm not a helpless human anymore, to be pushed around at the whim of stronger creatures but, seeing her sorrow and knowing the truth behind her words, I realize that I can't walk into the house and forget that I saw her. On some very deep level I'm completely aware of how very much I owe Eric. I owe him for keeping me safe, I owe him for how badly I treated him, and I owe him for letting me go when I so stubbornly wanted to.

I've tried for sixty-five years to deny what I am, but I came here to try and make peace with it. Being a supernatural being maybe there really is no help for it, and certainly if any of my gifts can help anyone, but especially Eric, than I can't sit by and say no.

"Okay Pam." I see Pam actually let out the breath she had been holding and I realize that, whatever Eric needs help with, it's probably a really big deal. Well, there is no denying who and what I am any longer, it might as well be useful to someone. It sure hasn't done anything for me.

"So what's going on Pam?" I say once we're on the highway. I'm going to need some kind of distraction from her driving, otherwise I will have a stress induced heartattack. I may be less breakable now, but I still don't want to find out how much a head on collision at 120 mph would hurt.

"Eric asked me not to say anything. He would feel more comfortable giving you all the details himself." Shoulda seen that one coming.

"Okay, well can I have a hint?" Pam doesn't even blink.

"No," Okay then. The rest of the ride does, in fact, end up being silent, although at 120 mph it's also exceedingly short, and when we finally pull into Fangtasia I'm actually tempted to kiss the ground.

Pam takes me through the employee entrance and straight back to Eric's office. From the sounds of KDED playing in the main room and the sexed up thoughts of the humans there it seems as though Fangtasia hasn't changed much in the decades I've been gone.

Pam walks me straight to Eric's office door, knocks once and, when he gives the command to enter, she pat's my back and walks away. For a moment I'm utterly astonished, and not ashamed to admit that I'm afraid to go in. The last time Eric and I saw each other I was...well a downright bitch to him and, even though I know he's a big boy who's been through worse than a tongue lashing from a childish, stubborn twenty-something little girl who's a foot shorter and more than nine centuries younger, I still feel embarrassed and trepidatious about seeing him again.

I try to tell myself that I'm not a little girl anymore, and that I'm here at his request. If what Pam said (not that she said much) is true, then he hasn't brought me here to gloat about how badly all my decisions turned out, or to have the last word in our argument. I suppose that means it's time to be an adult. I take a deep breath, square my shoulders, and turn the knob on the door. When the door opens I get my first look at Eric Northman in sixty-five years and I have to say that, even though I knew he wouldn't change, seeing him again is a breath taking experience. My memories absolutely do not do him justice. He is more beautiful and more awe-inspiring than ever. And though I can't quite put my finger on it, he seems different, more somehow than before. I don't give myself too much time to contemplate it though, since I don't want him to realize how much his presence is affecting me.

I walk right in and stop just in front of the guest chairs at his desk. Eric looks me up and down as well, but his face stays entirely neutral, and the bond that we still share is as deadened from his end as it has been all these decades, just like he promised it would be.

"Sookie, thank you for coming." He says in an all business voice. He gestures to the chair closest to me and I take it, sitting without another thought.

"Pam didn't tell me why you needed to see me, but she implied that it was very important. I couldn't say no." Eric nods at this, but his face remains unreadable. I see him open and close his mouth a few times, looking for the right words, and when he finally does speak it's with obvious restraint.

"Yes, I remember with perfect clarity your desire to stay out of the supernatural world, and I'm sorry to have to ask for your assistance now, but something has happened, and I feel your talents, if you would be so kind as to lend them, could greatly assist in bringing a resolution to the problem. How much are you aware of what's going on between the human community and the supernatural one?"

"I don't think you have to be involved in the supernatural world to know what's going on. These days you only have to turn on the TV." In the past sixty-five years loads more supernatural races have come out of the proverbial closet. Shifters and Weres were, of course, the first to follow the Vampires' example, but these days humans know about demons, the few remaining fae that are still here, and witches as well. To say that the news was taken badly each time a new group came forward or were outed, would be an understatement, and groups like the Fellowship of the Sun, who before were just an obnoxious fringe element, have gained both popularity and political power through their message of 'humans first'. Louisana herself has a Fellowship member for a Governor and she's hardly the only state. Congress is filled with them, and the President's new Supreme Court nominee is an open and vocal member.

They've been behind some of the worst acts of prejudice in the last fifty years, including getting the government to pass legislation making it a punishable offense not to register yourself with the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs, denying Vampires, shifters, Weres, and demons the right to adopt; and now there's even talk of passing an amendment to take back the rights of all supernatural groups to marry. It's caused supernatural groups like the demons, who have another place to go, to mostly decide to leave, but those that have stayed are vocally fighting the fight against the bigotry and hatred that has so suddenly and completely reared it's head.

"Then I'm sure you're aware that, for the most part, the infighting that used to take place between the different supernatural groups has ended. In light of the current political and social climate, we've all deemed it better to fight together rather than fall separately." I nod at him. "Then I'll come to the point. A prominent half demon and supernatural rights activist, Layla Sands, was kidnapped three nights ago, and I have every reason to believe that the Fellowship of the Sun is involved. However, my attempts to recover her have been thwarted. They are a lot better organized then they used to be. So I was hoping I could ask you to pull off some of the same sleuthing you used in Dallas to help me find out where she's being held. Getting her back is of the utmost importance."

I find myself both relieved and dissappointed that Eric seems completely on the up and up about his reasons for needing to see me. I suppose a part of me always hoped that maybe he still cared for me. After things went so terribly wrong with Sam, I even thought about coming back here, and reconnecting with him. But the smarter part of me knew that, after what I'd done to him, there was no going back. I'd treated him unforgivably and what right did I have to ask him for a second chance when the only reason I was was free to begin with was that I'd made such a spectacular failure of my life? I'd treated Eric a lot like a fall guy in the few years that we had been close, but I knew in the bottom of my heart that he was never meant to be any woman's back up and that I had made myself utterly undeserving of him. Still, I'm glad to see him and glad that I can be of help. The things that have been happening in this country are un-American and they have to stop. If I can do something to help, I will. One thing was bothering me though, tapping away at the back of my brain.

"Of course I'll help in any way I can. But there is one thing I want to ask you." I say. Eric nods acknowledging my concern and giving me the go ahead to ask him. "You're in charge of recovering this woman?"

"I am." He says, matter of factly.

"Forgive me for being nosey but, why? If she's a demon, even a half demon, shouldn't the demon community be the one's heading any search and recovery?" A terribly sad expression crosses Eric's face for just a fleeting moment and then it's gone.

"Normally yes, but this is a special circumstance." He answers carefully.

"What circumstance would that be?" I urge. Eric gets a determined look on his face. And though I know he is doing his best not to share his emotions with me in any way I suddenly realize that, whatever reason he has, it's not political, or business. Eric looks away from me, and over to a picture frame on his desk. From my position I can't see who or what the picture is of, but his face takes on a longing look for just that moment that he glances at it, and then it turns hard once more, filled with determination and purpose.

"Layla, is my wife."


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I own nothing..._

Eric's POV

I can see the color litterally drain from Sookie's face after I tell her why getting Layla back is so important. I should probably be irritated to no end that this is her reaction. Did she think that after what she had done to us, after the way she treated me, I would pine forever for her and never be able to recover? Did she think that the week we spent together when I was cursed and the one night we had together before her attack were somehow so special that I would spend the rest of existence a lonely ghost of my former self, unable or unwilling to move on?

If not irritated, then I should be pleased at her reaction, pleased that it displeases her. After everything she said, I should be glad that a part of her is so affected by the fact that my life is, by all accounts, going far better than hers. But I'm neither irritated nor gloatingly pleased. I have never liked to see Sookie uncomfortable or unhappy, and it appears that old habits die hard. Still, I won't apologize for being happy, and I won't belittle what I have by pretending that what I had with her was somehow more. My wife needs me now, more than ever, and I will not betray her trust in me, not even a little, not even behind a closed office door.

"Your wife?" Sookie asks somewhat breathlessly. My only response is a nod. "I didn't know you'd remarried." I nod again. After the argument, or rather I should say the one-sided screaming fest in which Sookie tried to blame me for everything, including the rotation of the Earth on its axis, I returned the ceremonial knife that had pledged us to each other with Pam and Bill Compton as my witnesses.

"Twenty years ago, yes," Is my only reply. Sookie still looks pale, but she nods her head as though trying to process this new information and then asks another question.

"Do you think, then, that she was taken because of her activism or do you think she was taken because she is your wife?" If I were still a lowly sherriff it might be a good question, but the way things stand, it's a moot point.

"I am sure that she was not taken by an enemy of mine as no ransom demand has been made. As to whether they want to hurt her for her beliefs or to hurt me as well, I would say that both are probably true. When I was a sherriff, they might not have cared that much, but now, it's probably just two birds with the same stone." I swallow hard, my anger welling up in me again. Though I was able to break the pledge that Sookie and I had made, a blood bond is a permanent thing, only breakable at the death of one of the bonded pair. So, even though I have not seen Sookie in sixty-five years and even though I have happily married another woman, I have never been able to bond with her and therefore am unable to use such a bond to track her. It's the only reason that I was willing to swallow my pride and ask Sookie to help me. For that reason alone, if nothing else, she owes me.

"Eric, I'm a little confused. I really haven't been up on Supe politics in the last years. Has your position changed?" My anger recedes and caution replaces it. I have finally found peace and happiness after the things that happened between us, but it doesn't mean that there weren't dark years, years where my grief over the loss of my bonded was almost as strong as if she had been killed. These are things that I do not want her to know. Nor do I want her to know the circumstances around my 'promotion'. I promised that I would keep her safe even if we were not together and I always keep my promises, even when they put me at great personal risk. Still, the less she knows about the whole sordid affair the better.

"Yes, I am no longer Sherriff of Area 5. I am King of Louisiana and Arkansas." If Sookie paled at knowing that I was married, it appears that finding out that I am King is enough for her to almost fall out of her seat, because the only thing that keeps her upright after I close my mouth is a well placed hand on the edge of my desk.

"Wow, you've been busy in the last little while haven't you?" The note of bitterness in her voice is clearly detectable, but I have no intention of getting into an argument with her or indulging her self-pity. The Stackhouse temper and stubborn childishness are no longer my cross to bear.

"It has been an eventful half century." I say nonchalantly. She nods again.

"So, what's the plan?" She asks. I hold out a folder with surveillance photos and information on the Fellowship headquarters in New Orleans. How such a forward thinking, easy going place ever became the Louisiana headquarters of this bigotted reactionary movement I don't know, but there they are.

"There are only a few Fellowship centers large enough to be holding her. My wife is not without her own magic and means of self-defense and so I would think that, wherever they are holding her, she is not especially far. They would not want to take the risk of transporting her a long distance and have her be seen or regain her strength enough to fight. Therefore New Orleans is at the top of my priority list. Their compound there is big enough, and it's relatively close by. I would like you to do essentially the same thing you did in Dallas; go in and see if you can find out if she's there. Anyone who would have recognized you is dead or near dead now, as you've been laying low all these years, and no one would ever suspect you're even the same person since you have not changed in the least. I was hoping that we could leave tomorrow night and that you would be willing to take a look around here the next day."

Sookie gets a sour expression on her face when I mention her physical appearance but wipes it off very quickly. She takes the folder and looks through everything inside and then hands it back to me.

"Sounds good." She says.

"I'll have a car pick you up and bring you to the private air strip here in Shreveport tomorrow night." Sookie nods again and, seeing that our immediate business is done, she gets up and walks to the door. Just as she puts her hand on the handle she turns back to me a look of sadness in her eyes.

"Eric, did you know that I wouldn't age?" She asks, her voice very small. I feel the frown forming on my face. Despite everything that has happened in the last years, it seems there is still a place deep down in my soul that feels for this woman, and it hates the look on her face. Still I can be nothing but honest.

"I suspected, but there was no way of knowing for certain." I see the moment my words land. Sookie shudders as though she is feeling a deep internal pain.

"Why did you never say anything?" She asks, and I can hear in her voice that she is close to tears. I let out a deep sigh, tamping down the emotions that want to break free of the tiny cage I have trapped them in.

"I didn't think you would listen to me. You were never very good at accepting truths you did not wish to hear." I know it's a nasty comment, but it's also the truth. I'm astonished when she only nods her head and walks out. The old Sookie would have stayed to bite my head off, waited for it grow back, and then bit it off again.

Thoughts of the old Sookie lead, of course, to thoughts about that last night. I let out an exasperated sigh. I do not want to think about that night. I do not want to relive the anguish that still, so many decades later, overtakes me when I remember how thoroughly she broke us, broke me, but it doesn't matter. No matter what came afterward, no matter what happiness I have found, that night will always haunt me and, at moments like this when the emotions take me back over, I am powerless to stop the memory from flooding me...

_"Lover, what are you doing sitting in the dark?" I ask as I enter her house. At first I had felt a moment of worry when I pulled up. I told Sookie that I would come that night, so when there were no lights on my senses immediately went on high alert. As I stepped out of the Corvette and heard the familiar sound of her heartbeat though, I began to think that perhaps she was just asleep._

_She was not asleep though, and my instincts were right, worry was the called for emotion. Instead of laying in her bed she was sitting in the kitchen, a cold cup of untouched tea infront of her and the lights from her yard the only illumination in the room. She was dressed in what had become her ubiquitous uniform during her recovery, a soft flannel nightgown, and a thick terry cloth robe, the fact that it was almost high summer seeming to elude her._

_"I've been thinking," She said in a flat tone. I walked over to her, not bothering with the lights. The darkness of the room had no effect on my ability to see and, if she wanted things this way, I would not disturb them. This was her home after all, and she had made perfectly clear on several occasions, both before and after the fairy attack, that she was not ready to share it with me._

_"What have you been thinking about?" I ask gently. She has been so miserable, so filled with anger and fear since the attack that I often feel as though I am walking on egg shells with her. Any wrong move or word will send her either spiraling down into tears and sorrow, or spinning out into a rage that demands a target no matter what the cost. I have tried to bear it all patiently. She cannot know how well I understand what she is going through, and it is that empathy for her condition that has allowed me to withstand my new role as the primary target of both her sorrow and her anger. _

_Yet ,if I could I would like to have one night, just one night were we can really talk. It is more imperative now than ever before that we come to our arrangement. She is so stubborn, she does not see it, but to heal, to truly recover she needs her bonded now more than ever. And as her bonded, my blood as well as my heart cries for me to help my mate, to heal her. We are not each one being anymore, but two halves that make a whole and so, if she is injured, damaged, incomplete then I am as well._

_"I can't do this anymore." I do not know what she is referring to specifically, but I try to help her by sending calm through our bond. Almost immediately she flinches, pushing her chair back and standing. "Stop it!" She yells at me. I try to keep my calm. My hope that tonight we might be able to work things through utterly abandoned._

_"Lover, I'm only trying to help you." I say in my most soothing tone._

_"No, you're only trying to control me. Stop it! Stop pushing emotions on me, stop trying to make me feel things I don't feel." She's pacing the room now, hands wildly gesticulating with every sentence._

_"Please Sookie, don't get upset. I am not trying to control you." Sookie rounds on me now eyes blazing._

_"Don't lie to me Eric, that's exactly what you're doing. That's what this whole bond is for, isn't it? For you to have control over me. I knew from the beginning that this would happen. If I had had any kind of choice I would never have done it." I feel my own temper rising now, but I try my hardest not to let her drag me into this particular argument._

_"Sookie, lest you forget, you had a choice. You could have chosen to bond with Andre, but I don't think you would have liked the consequences of that very much at all. Just because you don't like your options doesn't mean there was no choice."_

_"Well considering he's dead, it seems like I made the wrong choice, doesn't it?" Her words are like a slap on the face. I have always known of course that she hated having to bond with me the way we did, but I have never given her any reason to say these things to me. I could very easily control her, I could bend her to my will or break her completely, but I would never do it. I love her too much to ever take away from her the mind that makes her who she is._

_"None of us knew that he would end up dead. Lover, you cannot mean these things that you are saying. I know that you are still very unwell, but surely you can see that I only want to help you." _

_"I don't want your help. I told you, I can't do this anymore. I'm sick of all this supernatural bullshit. I'm tired of being a pawn in the games of more powerful creatures. If Niall had just stayed away from me, this," she says, gesturing to her stomach and legs, which still bare the scars of her ordeal, "would never have happened. If you hadn't coerced me into helping you find Bill this," she gestures to where I know the small circular stake wound to be, "would never have happened. If Callisto hadn't thought I'd be a wonderful message to you this," she points behind her to the barely visible claw marks that still run down her back, "wouldn't have happened."_

_I rise from my chair now,going over to her, attempting to give her some physical comfort if she will not allow me to help her through our bond. Sometimes something as little as a hug will transform her rage into tears, and from there I can calm her. But just as I am about to pull her into my arms she steps back, her hand held out against me as though warding off an attacker._

_"Sookie, please," I implore her in a soft voice. But she will have none of it. Whatever has caused her to voice these particular complaints she is determined to finish._

_"No, don't 'please Sookie' me. There's not much more Eric. There isn't much more of me to wound, to scratch, and scar and ruin. But whatever I have left, I'm not willing to put it out there anymore and wait for someone else to hurt it. I'm done. I want out of all of this. I don't want to be your telepath, I don't want to be your bonded, I refuse to accept that somehow I'm your wife. I am done. I want you and every other supernatural being out of my life. I want to be normal, to have a normal life with a husband I can sit and watch the sunset with, and children I can love and raise. I don't want to wait for the next supernatural with a grudge against you, or anyone else, to decide that my number is up!" Her words sting deeply, but this is not the first time in the last few weeks that she has said such things to me and so I try to find some way to calm her, knowing that she will apologize when it's all over. _

_She knows that I would never hurt her. She knows that the things I have done, bonding with her and pledging to her, were done to protect her from harm, not to hurt her further. She is just angry and vulnerable and needs someone to hurt so that she can hurt a little less. Though I hate it, I tell myself over and over again that, as she recovers, things will get better, and that, as her bonded, it is my duty to help her in any way I can, even if only to be a safe place for her to vent her hurt._

_"You know that I do not see you as my telepath. We moved past that a long time ago Sookie. As for our bond and our pledge those things were done for your protection." Sookie laughs bitterly at that and again I see the anger in her eyes._

_"Oh yes, my protection. And I remember how much you protected me when Lochlan and Naeve had me. Do you know how many times I called for you, how desperately I wished that you would come for me, and what happened in the end? Bill came. Bloody fucking Bill came. Bill who isn't good for anything, Bill who's never done anything since I've known him but hurt me. Bill came, while my thousand year old, Viking warrior bonded and husband was doing what? What were you doing Eric? What was more important than coming for me, that you sent the biggest loser at your disposal instead of coming yourself?" I feel my temper slipping. I have not yet had a chance to tell her about Victor or the ordeal that Pam and I had to go through just to get to her at Doctor Ludwig's. But for her to question me in this way, to insinuate that anything but the most dire circumstances would keep me away from her...it's beginning to erode my will power. I don't know how much more I can take in calm silence._

_"Sookie, I have promised that I will explain what happened and why I could not come to you, but I will not do it now, not when you are so clearly determined not to listen and not to understand." Sookie laughs bitterly now._

_"I understand perfectly, believe me. Eric, get out." She gestures towards the hall that leads to the front door._

_"Sookie, I'm not leaving you like this." I say again attempting to step closer to her. She backs away again and this time she yells at the top of her lungs._

_"I said get out. I'm done with you, I'm done with vampires and fairies and all the other crazies out there. I'm human and I want out."_

_"Sookie, you are my bonded, I cannot just leave you to suffer alone." Instead of calming her I am clearly making things worse, but I do not wish to leave her alone like this._

_"I don't want to be your bonded Eric, or anything else anymore, don't you get it? I don't care if you did it for my protection, I don't care if you were the lesser of two evils, I should never have had to chose to begin with and, quite frankly, if I had the choice again, I would never ever bond with you under any circumstances. There is enough shit going on in my brain without you swimming around in there too. So leave. Get the hell out of my house and out of my life! So help me Eric, if you don't leave now I will rescind your invitation!" _

_There are no words to describe the pain I feel as her last words of anger rip through me. Yet our bond, this bond that she hates so much, tells me that she is being honest with me. She hates our bond, she hates this world that I must live in, and she blames me almost entirely for her misfortunes in it. I feel my anger reach a breaking point. I have endured insult after insult, tantrum after tantrum hoping that, with time, things would get better, hoping that we could find some kind of happiness again, as we did when I was cursed. But now I see that these were blind hopes; too much has happened since Hallow's curse was lifted for us to ever find that kind of innocent happiness again, and the wave of shame that comes over me as I think back to all of the abuse that I have allowed her to heap on me in these past weeks, without so much as raising my voice in return, makes me feel sick. Who is this stubborn, willful, stupid child to speak to me this way? How many times have I put myself in harm's way for her, only to receive this as thanks? I keep my voice as level as possible now as I look at her._

_"If that is what you desire, Sookie, then I will not fight you any longer. I came tonight hoping that we could finally speak of our arrangement, but it appears that you have already given that a great deal of thought. You will never see me again, since you despise me so." With that, I turn and head out the door..._

As I left her home that night, driving back to Shreveport as if in a daze, I felt my long dead heart harden the last little bit. I loved her so much. I had held on to every shred of hope that there was that, deep down, she might love me too, but now I knew the truth. She cared nothing for me or the sacrifices that I had made for her. She lumped me in with Compton and Niall and all the others who had hurt her without even a second thought. I would not come back for more of her abuse, I would not allow myself to be treated so. I was wrong to ever allow myself to feel such things for her.

A few days later Pam told me that Sookie had called. That she had wanted to apologize, but I was not stepping back into that game with her. Instead, I sent Bobby Burnham with a brief note; I would deaden our bond, return the knife to her and have nothing more to do with her. I promised her my protection always, as was my duty as her bonded, but I had felt the truth behind her words that night and now I too desired nothing more do with her.

Of course writing such things was easier than actually sticking to them, and many nights it was all I could do not to run to her, beg her for another chance, and tell her how much I still loved her. But each time I felt that way I replayed in my head the last words she spoke to me and they gave me the courage to do as I had promised.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: As always I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story, put it in their favorites, and on alert. Thank you so much, you keep me writing. And of course I cannot go on without thanking my fabu beta and editor sheknitsnicely- you are a goddess I cannot say it enough!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing... _

Eric's POV

The next night, when I arrive at the air strip in Shreveport, Sookie and the memebers of my staff that are accompanying us are already waiting. We board my private jet for the hour long flight to New Orleans and I find myself feeling more anxious than I have since this whole ordeal began. If Layla is not there than I am at a loss. With each day that slips by, the chances of us finding her alive diminish.

I turn and look out the window, watching as the jet takes off. The last sixty five years have been full of such sorrow and upheaval. Layla is the one bright point in all my darkness. I cannot lose her.

As I look over at Sookie, sitting silently across the aisle from me, I feel all the sorrow and misery come flooding back to me. After Sookie broke with me, I was determined never again to be dragged into the unhappy mess that had become our relationship. Yet, she was my bonded and it was still my duty to protect her. So, when Rasul came to me with information that Victor was plotting yet again, and that Felipe DeCastro had found out about the severing of our pledge and planned to take advantage of it to force Sookie to work for him in Vegas, I knew that I could not ignore either threat.

In the end there was little choice but to kill them both and take the throne. I had never wanted to be King before. I had always believed it would make me too much of a target and deprive me of the free time I had hoped to spend with my bonded. Now, without my bonded, and already a target of Madden's, it seemed as though my reasons for refusing a crown were moot. It took only a little more than a year to put my plans into effect, and the house of cards that Felipe and Victor had built fell almost too easily to be satisfying. But the end result was the same. I was King, and Sookie was safe once more. I gave Nevada to Sandy Seacrest, a reward for coming over to our side and helping me end DeCastro, and settled in to rule Louisiana and Arkansas. My first order of business was to make sure that my bonded would never be a target again.

The night that I made my protection of Sookie formal though, was perhaps the hardest since she broke with me. As I was signing the formal edict, Pam came to me with news that Sookie had married Sam Merlotte. The rational part of me knew that, if Sookie wanted sunlight and children and normal there was no better candidate. The shifter could give her the white picket fence and the mewling little brats she wanted, while his brain was still difficult enough for her to read that she wouldn't be constantly bombarded by his thoughts.

Unfortunately, rationality and objectivity were not the foremost emotions going through me at that particular moment, and Fangtasia suffered some appalling damage that night. It was Pam, and only Pam, who was brave enough and cared enough to keep me from setting the place on fire, or worse. And it was only Pam who was able to give me the comfort I needed to get through the worst of my grief. I suppose deep down I thought, even after everything that had been said and all the time we'd spent apart, that if I could just come back to her and hold out this thing that I had done for her, Sookie would take me back. She would see how much I loved her, see how worthy I was of being her bonded, of loving and protecting her, and all would be forgiven. Now the very last hope I had was gone.

We were still bonded, we would always be, but she was another man's wife. She had chosen unequivocally to leave me in the darkness and seek out a life in the sunlight that I would never again see. To try and forget all that I had lost, I filled the first decades of my rule with debauchery. I was an ancient and powerful Vampire, a former Viking and a feared warrior among my kind. There were few foolish enough to attempt to take my throne, and that left me with an excess of leisure time that I filled with a great deal of meaningless physical pleasure. I tried to banish my memories of Sookie with as many women in as many ways as possible. I only chose women who looked nothing like her and I indulged only in the type of sex I knew she would never give me. I had made love to Sookie, I had given her my heart and my soul every time I had given her my body; these women I fucked. I objectified, belittled, and degraded each and every one of them, hoping to numb the pain.

But eventually I realized that, if I were to fuck every woman in the world, if I were to hurt each and every one of them, it would not bring Sookie back and it would not heal the hole she had left in my heart.

It was Pam who finally solved the puzzle of my grief for me one night, after I had almost killed the three women I had been bedding...

_"Are they gone?" I ask Pam as she comes into my bedroom. She has helped me glamour the women into forgetting what happened tonight, and given them a plausible false memory for the injuries they'd sustained._

_"They won't remember anything," she says, coming to stand in between my legs as I sit, still naked on the bed. There is a great deal of blood and I know that I really need to at least get up so she can strip the sheets, but I don't have the energy even for that right now. I'm still trying to piece together what happened here tonight. Sometimes in my anger, in my sorrow, I get lost. I lose track of what I'm doing. Pam kneels in front of me now, her arms coming to rest on my thighs. "It will never numb the pain." I look at her and, though for one moment I want to argue, I know in the end she is right. _

_"Then how do I make it stop? It hurts so much, I just want it to stop." I say, my voice barely above a whisper, my hand fisting and automatically hitting the place over my no longer beating heart. Pam looks at a loss, and I suppose it's unfair for me to ask her. Emotions are something that we try hard not to feel. How would Pam know how to stop feeling something? She would have to start feeling something first. Yet, after a moment, I see something strong pass just behind her eyes._

_"Perhaps the answer is something very simple. Perhaps you need to find something else to love."... _

Something simple indeed. After that night I began to wonder if I had never loved anyone but Sookie in a thousand years because she was truly meant for me, or if she was simply the first person I had ever given a chance. Pam had given me something to ponder, but I was by no means ready to try to find someone else.

Years would go by before her words of advice would truly have meaning for me, and in those years many tumultuous changes would take place. Supernatural groups of all kinds would follow the lead of Vampires and Weres and come out of the wood work, and the humans would react as they always had to any new threat to their narrow-minded view of the world. Although this time their fear would not lead them to light torches and take up pitchforks, but to organize politically. Groups like the Fellowship of the Sun, who had always preached anti-supernatural rhetoric and hate, began to gain both religious prominence and political clout, and the government that was supposed to protect us all turned a blind eye to the uptick in drainings and murders.

Supernaturals of all kinds had always had their own systems of justice, which existed alongside the human one, but once it became clear that, by coming out many groups had put themselves apart from the humans they had so long pretended to be, something more than the human system of government and protection was needed. The idea that we could all live apart with our own separate rules and ways no longer applied. There are still many more humans in this world than supernaturals, but together we were a significant, and significantly stronger, group. And so the infighting that had existed between us for thousands of years began to fall away.

As King of Louisiana and Arkansas I began to throw myself into forming alliances with the other supernatural communities that lived among us, and that was how I met Layla. Most of the full demons had chosen to leave this plain, preferring to return to their dimensions rather than deal with the idiocy of humans. But there were those who stayed; those that had married humans, and those who were the children of such marriages had no choice but to stay and wished to align themselves with the other supernaturals.

I don't believe that, when I fell in love with Layla, I was making the conscious choice to be with someone who was as different from Sookie as night from day, but as I look back over things now it seems that, however unintentional, that was what I did. Layla is dark where Sookie is light, tall where Sookie is short, slim where Sookie is curvaceous, educated where Sookie is not, and perhaps most of all, entrenched in the supernatural world where Sookie never wanted to be. And yet the two women have much in common. Both are brave, witty, loyal, and believe in fighting for what is right. Both are outspoken and stubborn. Both captured my heart almost the moment I laid eyes on them. But, unlike Sookie, I will not fail to come for Layla when she needs me. I will find her.

I have been so lost in my thoughts that I did not notice someone taking the seat beside me. I look over now and see Sookie staring up at me.

"I felt your turmoil," she says quietly. I say nothing but let the veil that I have always kept firmly over our connection descend once more. "Please, you don't need to do that. I know that you're very worried for her, you don't need to waste energy shielding from me." Again, I am struck by the differences in this woman. There was a time, so many years ago, when she would have no doubt accused me of lifting the veil in order to attempt to influence her, perhaps to strengthen her resolve by using my emotions to manipulate her.

"You've changed." I blurt out before my mind can take control of my mouth. Sookie snorts derisively, but looks at me with genuine eyes.

"I suppose I don't look it, but I've done a lot of growing up in the last six and half decades." She looks away from me for a moment, scanning the cabin to see if anyone is close by. "Eric, I don't know quite how to say this, or if you even still care, but there is something that I need to say to you that has been weighing on me for a long time." She pauses again and looks up into my eyes, hers wide and blue and filled with a strong emotion...remorse. "I'm sorry for the things I said to you that night." I interrupt her almost immediately.

"Sookie, you do not need to..." She holds her hand up.

"Please, I know it doesn't change anything. And I'm not saying it now to drudge up the past, or to make trouble for you. I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. After I calmed down I realized almost immediately just how terrible and untrue the things I said to you were. I needed someone to lash out at, someone to blame... and you where there." Her voice fades out towards the end and we are left simply staring at each other. She is right of course, these words cannot change any of the things that happened afterwards, but still, that part of me that houses those emotions I keep tightly locked away is glad to hear them. "I know how much you want her back, need her back, and I promise that I will do anything and everything I can to help you. But I hope, once this is done, that you and I can at least be friends. Before everything went wrong between us, before the pledge, and the bond, before the curse, you and I were friends, and over the last years it's that connection to you that I've missed most of all." I look down at her now and see the sincerity in her eyes.

"I would like that very much as well." I say, equally sincere.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I own nothing..._

Sookie's POV

I wake the next morning with a sense of trepidation. I'm far older and far stronger than I was in Dallas, when I so stupidly followed Hugo into the Fellowship of the Sun headquarters there. But that doesn't mean that I enjoy the suspense that comes with putting my neck on the line any more now than I did then. Still, this time, even more so than the last, I'm doing it for a good cause.

I try very hard not to think about any of the feelings that are simmering just under the surface for me. In the brief moment that Eric let the veil drop between us last night, I felt very plainly the anguish and fear he feels for his wife, which he refuses to let anyone see, and also the deep love that he has for her. It hurts more than I care to admit it, but there is no longer any denying that he is completely sincere in his need for my help. He loves this woman, and I can make my peace with that and try to salvage some of the friendship that we used to have, or I can walk away and continue to be a lonely person in a world I have been completely unprepared to deal with. But I can't have him back.

Eric was right all those years ago when he said that not liking your options doesn't mean that you don't have a choice. Given my available options, I believe that I would like to try to be his friend, if he'll let me. Almost everyone that I know is dead. Sam, my brother, Amelia, and Octavia are all dead and, the last I heard, Tara and JB were both very near it. I have no idea how long I will live and it would be nice to have Bill and Pam and Eric back, to be with people who will endure as it seems I will. I don't want to be alone anymore.

I shake off the melancholy that is quickly taking me over and decide to get on with my day. Hopefully it will be an eventful one. I shower quickly and put on my youngest and most conservative looking dress. It's a pretty navy color with little yellow buttercups on it, and the skirt hits just at my knee. I brush out my hair until it gleams and then put in a matching navy headband and complete the outfit with little navy and straw espadrilles. In all, I think I look like an innocent, just out of school, girl and I'm hoping that my ruse will be convincing.

After a quick breakfast in the hotel restaurant, I take the rental car that Eric arranged for me and park a few blocks from the Fellowship center. I'm more than a little shocked when I walk into the square where the center is and find that they are having some sort of membership drive. From the looks of things it appears that they've come a long way from the cloak and dagger bigotry they used to peddle. Whatever is going on today looks more like a political party looking for voters than anything else. There are at least fifty Fellowship members, all wearing nicely pressed suits or dresses and sporting buttons that give their names and have the little slogan "ask me". There are at least a two hundred or more other people in the square looking over brochures, asking questions, and having conversations.

I decide not to think too closely about the ramifications of so many people freely exercising their constitutional right to hate, and just try to be glad that it appears that luck is with me. I plaster on my sweetest smile and walk by a Fellowship member who appears to have no one he's currently talking to. Within a moment he's in front of me and asking me all sorts of questions. Am I happy? Have I felt scared with all the new and strange things that have happened in the past years? Am I looking for a better path? It takes only a moment to get into his head and give him the answer to each question that he wants to hear. Dan is his name, and he's thrilled. We talk for fifteen minutes, and the whole time I keep my best smile on my face and try not to betray my nausea at the truly hateful l things that are swimming in his brain. He doesn't appear to know anything about Eric's wife, but he is filled with such hate for supernaturals and such fear of anything even remotely different from him, and it's all mixed up with twisted messages about what God expects of him and how he should live his good, Christian life. He makes me utterly sick and angry at the same time, but I still stand there, gathering brochures and smiling, making my mouth say the horrible things he wants to hear.

After a little while I ask him if I might use the little girls' room and he is more than happy to direct me to the bathroom inside the center. I promise him I'll be back in just a little while so we can keep our conversation going, and I head inside. Once I'm through the doors, I wander around a little until I find a quiet corner and then I drop my shields completely. I am a much stronger telepath than I used to be, and I can hear everyone within the church and sort each voice with little to no trouble now. It takes a great deal of concentration but, within a minute, I feel a single brain that is other, somewhere below me.

I reach out and touch that brain gently. There is a great deal of pain, and not much coherent thought going on. I don't know who it is but, even if this person is not Eric's wife, they need help. Suddenly I feel very frustrated that I didn't pay more attention to the blueprints that were in the folder Eric showed me last night. Like any other fairy I can teleport, but only if I have some kind of idea where I'm popping too. Without a clear idea of what the basement looks like, I can't chance it without the possibility of popping into a solid wall. Just as I decide to follow the dimmed sounds coming from the brain, hoping it will lead me to a door, I hear two pairs of foot steps coming down the hall. I know that I need to hide, so I prepare to put my shields back up. But just before I do, I get one perfectly clear thought from the pained mind. The clarity with which this mind thinks of Eric's face, soft in candlelight, smiling beautifully only for her, his blue eyes depthless with love, and his hair a hallo behind him, makes me nearly double over. It's her, it's Layla. Eric was right. She is here.

"Are you lost, Miss?" The two pairs of footsteps belong to two more nicely suited men, who appear to be working this conversion day or pledge drive or whatever it is that they're having. I plaster on my biggest 'sweet dumb blonde' smile and look up at them with wide, innocent eyes.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I came in looking for the ladies room, but I got lost. Perhaps you can help me?" The man who spoke before, Hal, smiles at me, and I try to repress a shiver when exactly what he'd like to do to me in any bathroom or dimly lit corner he could find, runs through his brain.

"Yes, of course, right this way." As we walk I make small talk with them, telling them how happy I am to have found the church today and how I'm looking forward to joining them for Sunday service. From what I can hear in their minds, they believe me and so, when they drop me off at the bathroom and tell me that they will wait outside, I only nod my head and promise to be done soon.

As I'm exiting the bathroom I see the two men who have become my chaperons chatting with another man who looks to be in his sixties. When he sees me coming out of the bathroom, he initially smiles but then gives me a queer look. I have let go of a great deal of the ethical and moral issues that used to plague me when it comes to my telepathy. I don't hesitate now, even for a second, before dipping into another person's mind. My safety is worth more than some intrinsic belief in the autonomy of every person's thoughts. I feel a cold chill come over me as I realize that this man is Steve Newlin's son and the current leader of the Fellowship. What's even worse is that, somehow, he recognizes me, apparently from an old photograph his father showed him. Or at least he thinks I look astonishing like Sookie Stackhouse: freak, telepath, and vamp whore, although he's trying to convince himself that it's just a resemblance and that it's not possible for me to actually be that woman. I hold out my hand, proud that it doesn' t shake, and introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Marry Simmons, it's very nice to meet you." I say, hitting my down home Southern accent hard. When his hand meets mine, his mind is completely open to me and it's an absolute cesspool. What I find there is repugnant and awful and it makes me want to be anywhere but here. Steven Newlin the younger lets us go, but not without giving me a second glance first. Then I'm escorted back outside. After a few more minutes of chit chat I excuse myself by saying that I have to get back to work and promise to come on Sunday.

Once I'm away I fairly run to my car. I get in as fast as my shaking hands can press the unlock button. It's all I can do to make it back to the hotel and, when I do, I simply stand in the doorway to the suite, unable to walk in. The things they've done to her, that they still want to do... the things they want to do to Eric. The revulsion and fear rising up in me are almost overwhelming and, as has only happened a time or two before, I begin to lose control over my magic. I try as hard as I can to reign in my emotions, but it's too late. There is a huge burst of energy and the room begins to fill with light. Then I feel the familiar movement that starts within me and pulls me from the inside out. There is a popping sound and, when I rematerialize, I'm on the carpeted floor of someplace completely dark.

It takes me a few moments to recover. I have a veritable grab bag of fae magical powers now, but popping, while convenient, is my least favorite. It always feels like those dreams you have where you're falling and you wake just before you hit the ground. I have only popped intentionally a few times in my life, because I dislike the sensation so much, and I've only popped once before unintentionally. I suppose that I'm lucky to be alive since I have no idea where I am.

The darkness is hardly a problem though. I'm feeling weak from the outburst of magic, and I really don't want to know what my hotel room looks like right now, but I still have enough energy to use another one of my abilities. Pulling from within, I allow my body to take on an iridescent blue glow that lights my skin. The illumination is enough for me to see my surroundings and realize that I've materialized in a bedroom. I still have no idea where I am and by extension how I got here. I've never seen this place before; how could I have popped here? When I turn around I can't stop the bitter little laugh that escapes me as everything makes a sad sort of sense.

There, lying on the bed, barely covered by a sheet, is Eric, dead for the day. I had no idea it was possible, but it must be the bond. Usually I have to visualize the place I desire to pop too, but in this case it seems that my fear for Eric, coupled with our bond, allowed the blood that we shared so long ago to seek itself out. The bond was powerful enough to act as a beacon and brought me to him because, above all, I desired to be with my bonded and to know that he was safe.

I feel the tears starting to run down my cheeks as I look at him. All those years ago I blamed everything on this bond. I accused Eric of trying to control and manipulate me, I felt that all my feelings for him were a direct result of it, I acted as though it was a curse. I know now, of course, that these things aren't true. I haven't felt the bond, except for one tiny moment, in sixty-five years and my feelings for him, though they have often been squelched down and buried deep, have never for a moment changed.

But in all that time I never appreciated, until this very moment, what a mystical and magical connection we truly share. Not a single drop of blood has been exchanged between us in over a half century, but this thing between us is still so strong, so deep, that I could use it to come here to him even though I have no idea where here is. I know also, that I should now find some way to leave, that I no longer have the right to see Eric in this way. That it is another woman, a woman who has made him happier than I ever did, who alone has the right to share his rest and vulnerability. But I cannot go. Instead, I find myself walking slowly to the bed and sitting down next to him. I take the sheet and make sure that it's tucked securely around his waist, and then I just stare at him. Never has a man been as beautiful to me as he is now.

He lays on his back, his hair spread around him like a long golden river, his eyes closed, and his beautiful full lips parted just slightly. His arms are flung out on either side of him and his bare shoulders and chest are laid out before my eyes. Again, I fleetingly think about how wrong it is for me to be here, how I should leave... but I don't. Instead, I allow the the desire to touch him to overwhelm the more honorable side of me. To appease my conscience, and make it quiet, I promise it that I will leave as soon as I do.

I lean over him gently and stroke my hand from his hair line down to his jaw. His skin is every bit as soft and rough as I remember it, and the stubble that lines his jaw feels so familiar under my fingers that it makes my heart ache. I lean in just a little closer so that my face is just millimeters from his neck and I inhale deeply, letting just the tip of my nose brush his skin. His wonderful scent fills me and I feel intoxicated by it, overtaken by the memories of the handful of times I have been this close to him before.

Just as I am about to pull away though, I feel his hand come up and fist into my hair, pulling me closer to him, bringing my mouth to the skin of his neck. I gasp and reach out to brace myself with my hands, but they only come in contact with the bare skin of his chest. I hear him inhale deeply and the sound is followed by another, an almost pained, hungry sounding growl. I want so desperately to let myself be pulled down onto the bed with him, to rip the sheet from his body and the dress from mine and twine myself around him, to feel every part of the body that I have always known was meant to fit around mine, to let him drink his fill of my fairy infused blood. But I know that I cannot. I know that, were he truly, completely conscious he would not want it. He would not want me. So instead of staying and admitting my pathetic longings or apologizing for my completely unwanted violation of his rest, I take the cowards way out and pop away.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: As always I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, put this story in their favorties, and on alert. Thank you so much, it keeps me writing. And of course I have to give a shout out to my beta Sheknitsnicely. If you've read any of my other stuff you know how fabulous she is making this one! _

_Okay so we're coming to our first big event in the story in these next two chapters. I know some people were worried about how this story would end, and so I just want to remind everyone that a happy ending for Sookie and Eric is what this story is all about, but it's a long road! Please hang in there with me :) The first big hurdle is going to be resolved now._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing..._

Sookie's POV

When I rematerialize in my hotel room I'm too shaken to give much thought to the fact that the place is absolutely ruined. The couch has exploded, one of the windows is broken, the lamp on the table is in pieces on the floor, and the table it was on has been reduced to saw dust. I'll have to go down to the concierge later and make some sort of excuse as to why this happened and arrange to pay for the damages, but right now such mundane worries are beyond my ability to care about.

Instead of doing anything useful, I just sink down to the floor and start to cry. The tears come fast and hard as I think about everything. I don't know if I'm crying because of what Eric's poor wife is going through, or if I'm crying because I know how much it will hurt him when I tell him what they've done to her, or if I'm crying because, even knowing how much this poor woman is suffering, I still took the opportunity today to touch and carress and covet her husband while he was unable to stop me. That last thought, and the accompanying one that tells me just exactly how horrible a human being I am, makes me cry all the more.

I lay there in a flood of my own tears for what feels like hours. I barely notice that the sun is setting, or that the temperature in the room is plummeting as the cold night air seeps in through the broken window. I don't care that I'm a mess, or that the room is a mess, or that my life is a mess, or that the world is a mess. I just want it all to stop. It doesn't though, and I'm made painfully aware of that fact when a pair of expensive red suede stilettos swims into my watery view.

"Sookie, what happened here?" Pam asks, her voice at it's usual emotionless volume. I look up at her from my place in the fetal position on the floor, and it's all somehow made so much worse by the fact that she looks, as she always does, absolutely amazing, while I am a sobbing, snotty mess on the floor of my trashed hotel room. I raise myself to standing and try to smooth out my dress and hair before answering.

"Nothing bad, I just lost control of myself this afternoon and had a little magic accident." I try to laugh at how utterly I've understated things, but Pam doesn't question me any further. Once she has looked me over and ascertained that I am not in fact bleeding or injured, she just nods her head.

"Did you find anything out today?" She asks, her voice betraying only the slightest bit of concern. I nod my head.

"A lot, we need to go to Eric right now." I say, though internally I'm cringing at the thought of facing him again after what I did this afternoon.

"If you did find something useful then you should probably change before we go. You're not dressed to kill, if you take my meaning." I nod at Pam and hurry into my less devastated bedroom to change quickly. A black turtle neck, black jeans, and hair scrunchy later, I re-emerge carrying my sneakers, which I can put on in the car.

As always, Pam and I are silent on the ride to the royal residence. When we arrive I have to say that I am clearly in favor of the new digs. It seems that his majesty has traded in Sophie-Anne's old place for a stately mansion in the French quarter, with large wrought iron balconies (which I will be staying away from), and beautiful circular turrets. I never saw Eric's house, but he always struck me as a clean lines, little clutter kind of person, so a sinking part of me feels that this must be the considerable taste and style of his Queen coming through.

Pam and I enter the residence, the vampires and humans there bowing to her as she passes. We walk all the way to the back of the first floor to a set of double doors, which Pam walks through without bothering to knock. On the other side is what appears to be Eric's office or study, and he is there just in front of the fire place, pacing back and forth. When he sees us he stops pacing and rushes straight up to me, stopping just inches from me. I crane my head back and for one brief moment I hold my breath thinking that he will touch me, but he doesn't. Instead, I see that his eyes are filled with a burning impatience.

"What did you find out? Is she there?" He asks in a rush so fast that I almost don't understand him. I take a deep breath and force myself to be all business. Head in the game, Sookie this is important.

"Yes, she's being held in the basement. I couldn't get to her though, they had some sort of membership drive today. It made reading people easier, but the place was crawling with FotS members so I couldn't snoop." Eric nods his head and turns to Pam.

"Get everyone ready, we leave in one hour." He commands. Pam only nods her head and then leaves to make all the necessary arrangements.

"Thank you, Sookie. I can handle it from here." He says. For a moment I'm completely dumbstruck with shock; he simply intends to dismiss me!

"Eric, I can help..." I start to say, but he holds up his hand, stopping me mid-sentence, and shakes his head.

"This is likely to be very dangerous, Sookie. The Fellowship headquarters are well guarded, night and day, and when they realize that we have come for Layla things are likely to get bloody fast." I shake my head furiously.

"Eric, you need to listen to me. They damn well know you're coming. They're expecting it. It's a trap- they want you too. They want to make examples out of both of you. They want the supernatural community to see what will happen to each and every one of them if they try to organize and work together and speak out for their rights. If you go in there, swords blazing, they will kill everyone else, but they'll take you alive, and what they want to do..." I can't finish that sentence. Seeing it in Steve Jr's head was one thing, but making my mouth form the words is another. Eric just snorts.

"Let them try, I've dealt with worse threats than the small-minded hatred of a bunch of humans. I am getting her out tonight!" I feel my temper rising. It's not that I don't expect him to do anything; I know he would let everyone in the world be sacrificed if it meant getting his wife back. But still, there has to be a better way."

"I know, and I can help if you'll let me! Eric, I'm not just human anymore." I say. He looks over at me now and I see something pass just behind his eyes before it disappears, and the cold steely gaze of a hardened warrior replaces it.

"I cannot take the risk of you being hurt." He says, matter-of-factly.

"Eric, you really don't need to worry about..." Eric cuts me off again, rounding on me quite angrily.

"I said no! You are my bonded, I cannot risk you being hurt or killed." He says, coming up directly in front of me and getting so close to me that our faces are only inches apart. When he realizes what he's said and how close we are, he seems to recover himself, quickly taking a long step back. "What I mean is that I cannot risk your physical injury impacting me," He quickly ammends. "We are still bound. Your injury might slow me down or distract me at a crucial moment." He says, seeming quite proud of himself for his little save. In truth though, all of this pointless argument is starting to wear on me, and so I do the only thing that I know will end it quickly. Still staring him down, I lift my right hand, palm out, and let a burst of light shoot out and hit his desk. The wood groans heavily for all of a second and then the thing collapses into two pieces everything on it falling into the gaping hole in the middle. Eric's firm expression gives just slightly.

"It's unlikely anyone will get close enough to injure me. Now, would you like me to keep destroying your furniture, or can we talk about other things I can do that might be more useful to you tonight?" I say, in a level tone, as though I'm asking a waiter about the specials. Eric's face is still pretty neutral but, after one last sideways glance at the mess that used to be his antique cherry wood desk, he nods.

"You were saying?" He says, his voice sounding just a little bit smaller than it did a moment ago.

"I was, thank you." I try not to let the note of childish triumph seep into my voice, but I'm sure I fail. It's not every day that you get to shock a thousand plus year old vampire into not just silence, but acquiescence. "You have the blueprints to the Fellowship center?" I ask. Eric nods again and points to the messy pile on the floor. I go over and pick it out, thankful that it wasn't damaged during my demonstration. "Good, okay. She's in the basement." I say, pointing to the underground portion of the building. "There are three rooms down there. I'm not sure which one she is in, but I think this picture should be enough."

"Enough for what?" Eric asks, interrupting me. I look at him and smile, actually proud for the first time in...well, ever, of my fae abilities.

"Normally I need to be able to see a place, but this blue print should be enough. I can pop." Eric's eyebrows go sky high when he hears this.

"You can teleport?" I nod, the smile becoming wider.

"Yes, I can only teleport myself, I'm not as good at is a full fairy, yet. But I think I can pop down there and get her out while y'all are distracting them upstairs." Eric nods, but he isn't smiling.

"It's unlikely she'll be alone down there Sookie. I'm not comfortable with the idea of you going down there by yourself." He pauses and then feels the need to clarify his statement once more. "Your death or injury does not get us anything." I get it, I think testily. Just then a thought occurs to me. I'm certainly not willing to own up to what happened in Eric's bedroom this afternoon and, even if I was, now would not be the time, but it does make me stop and think. If the blood within him that belongs to me is still active enough to allow me to pop to him, destination unseen, then I wonder if it's enough to allow me to teleport with him? Full fairies don't have a problem teleporting objects or other people, and maybe one day I'll get there too, but as of now I haven't had any luck with taking anything with me other than the clothes on my back or a small object I can hold. I look up at Eric, and it's clear he can see the gears turning in my head.

"Eric, how much time do we have before we leave?" I ask. He gives me a puzzled look but doesn't push me to clarify.

"Perhaps a quarter of an hour. Pam will come back in to let us know when everything is prepared." I nod.

"I'd like to try something if it's okay with you? I think, because of our bond, that I might be able to teleport you as well. If that's true then we could both pop down into the basement and one of us can hold any attackers off while the other frees Layla." I see Eric smile and behind his eyes such hope blossoms. It makes me feel proud of myself, but also just a little bit unhappy. I don't too closely question either of those emotions though- we don't have time. "Can I try now? I won't take us far, I just want to see if it works." Eric nods and I hold out my hands to him. He steps directly in front of me again, forcing me to crane my neck all the way back to look at him, and he twines our hands together. The little spark of electricity that runs from his cold hand to my warm one makes me shiver, but I ignore it.

I nod my head once and wait for him to nod in return that he is ready, and then I close my eyes and visualize the other side of the double doors to his office, the two vases of pretty, night blooiming flowers that stand on either side, and the pattern of the blue Persian rug just at the entry way. As I concentrate I begin to feel that sick, falling feeling that starts in my belly and radiates out. Then suddenly, just as happened earlier today, I feel as though my body is moving, inside first, and then there is the familiar popping sound. When I open my eyes I'm on the other side of the doorway and, to my absolute astonishment and pride, so is Eric. Although he looks a little bit worse for the wear.

"Holy S! It worked!" I say, jumping up and down. Eric looks over at me and smiles wanly, letting his hand go out and grab for the door to steady himself.

"Does it always feel that way?" He asks. I try not to laugh. The situation we're about to go into is dangerous and fraught with all sorts of potential for things to go really badly. Even if things weren't so dire, it's not like Eric and I have moved to a point where joking and camaraderie are again a part of our relationship, but it's just so funny seeing a vampire go as close to green as possible.

"Yes, but if you start coming along for rides, you might eventually get used to it." I say, laughing ever so slightly and winking at him. The sound of footsteps in the corridor alerts us to the fact that we're no longer alone and Eric straightens up and puts his best bad-ass-vampire-King-on-a-mission game face back on.

"Everything is ready," Pam says. I see her eyebrow go sky high when she finds us just standing out in the hall in front of Eric's office, but she doesn't say anything.

"Good," Eric says, opening the office door and grabbing the hugest, sharpest, most frightening looking sword I've ever seen and breezing past both of us. "Then we go."


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I own nothing..._

Sookie's POV

We assemble two blocks from the Fellowship center. Eric instructs Pam to take the bulk of the force and storm the front doors, and Rasul to take a smaller force around the back. They will go as soon as Eric and I have popped into the basement. Since I can't teleport anyone besides myself and Eric, the plan is to free Layla and then fight our way back out. Even though our bond is still blocked, I can practically feel the impatience to get to Layla radiating off of him.

"Everyone is ready." He says. I nod and hold out my hands to him. He takes them and I can't stop myself from giving them a little squeeze. I'm all ready to pop us when I see his sword hanging from it's holder in his belt.

"Um, can you put your sword on your back or something?" I ask.

"Why?" I see his eyebrows knit together, both in question and impatience to get things moving.

"So it doesn't look so intimidating," I answer. Eric cocks his head to one side as if trying to decipher my meaning.

"It's supposed to look intimidating." He counters. I can feel my eyebrows creeping closer together as my exasperation couples with my nervous energy.

"Yeah, and when we get in there you can make it look as intimidating as you want, but right now it would be easier for me to pop us both there if I weren't staring at it." Great, now he's looking at me as though I have two heads.

"That will make it easier to teleport the sword?" He says, his impatience finally seeping into his voice. I have to admit that the circular nature of this conversation is starting to get to me too. I sigh in frustration and try my best to spell everything out for him.

"No, it's just that I've always had problems teleporting other stuff, and frankly just looking at how big that thing is makes me feel scared it won't work. So, just put it away, okay!"

"Fine," he says, putting the sword in the holder at his back, "just get us in there now!"

"Fine." I say closing my eyes. I block out all my anxiety about the sword and all my worry about what we'll find when we get there and I just try to concentrate on that nice, empty place in the basement. Within a second I feel my stomach drop into my shoes and I open my eyes to see that I did it. The hallway is completely dark, but I know Eric can see just fine. For myself, in an attempt to save my energy for the fight that is no doubt ahead, I brought a flashlight.

I click my flashlight on and then we're slinking down the hall: me following Layla's brain patterns and Eric, no doubt, following her scent. We round a corner and see two guards standing on either side of a closed steel door. Eric charges them and has the head of the first one off before I can even track what's happening. He's kicking the second one off of his sword, after running him through, just as I walk up. Eric steps back and I raise my hand, pointing it at the door and blowing off the lock and the knob at the same time.

Eric kicks the door in, but just as we're about to enter we both hear a scream coming from inside the room.

"No! NO MORE!" A woman's voice cries out, filled with pain and anguish. I turn frantically searching along the wall for a light switch, but just as I do I hear Eric scream.

"Layla, NO!" He cries. Just as I hit the switch, I hear him let out a guttural roar. Turning around in the now lit room, I see what has caused him to scream. There is a dead FotS member on the floor, stabbed by a sharp object it appears, and Layla lays in the middle of a rapidly pooling puddle of her own blood, the torture implement that killed her tormentor now implanted firmly in her own heart. My heart litterally makes a hollow splutter as I see Eric fall to his knees in front of her. It all happened so fast, but it looks like she somehow managed to get free and kill the man in the room with her, but when we burst through the door she must have thought we were more men coming to hurt her and she chose to kill herself rather than be tortured any further. Oh God!

I know that I am of no help here and so I don't approach him, even though the shock has caused him to suddenly lose his grip on our bond and his emotions: grief, sorrow, pain, and disbelief, are invading me so strongly that I could double over from their intensity.

"Why?" He whispers, his voice so filled with anguish and despair that he cannot even make a full sound. "Did you not know I was coming for you?" He asks her already limp body. Eric pulls the implement out of her chest and flings it across the room. He pulls her upper body into his lap, cradling her, stroking her hair, and calling her name, over and over again.

Suddenly I hear the alarm system go off and I know we're out of time. If we don't move now we'll be trapped in this room, and then the FotS will have Eric too.

"Eric, we have to go." I yell at him, but he makes no move. "Eric," I try again, "we have to go NOW, they're coming!" Still nothing. Finally, though I don't want to, I walk up to him and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention. He flinches away from me and, when he looks at me, it's as if he doesn't even recognize me, his glare is so glassy and blank. From his emotions right now, I know that he is only focused on one thing, convincing his mind that she isn't dead, that he isn't just seconds too late.

"Eric, they're coming, we have to go now." He stares blankly at me for one last second and then he picks her up and we head out the door. We aren't far down the hall when we're met by ten Fellowship memebers armed with stakes and guns with silver bullets. I don't bother waiting for Eric to charge them- I know the only thing on his mind right now is getting his wife's body out of here, and so I let all my anger, and all my hatred for these disgusting, pathetic excuses for humanity well up in me and come out of my hands. I hit three of them at once and, for just a brief moment, the others still standing stop astonished.

It's a fatal error. Still targets are easier to hit. The others I take out in a single shot, and Eric and I move down the hall to the stairs at the end of the corridor. We make it upstairs without further incident; obviously they weren't expecting us to get down to the basement the way we did. On the main floor, Rasul and Pam and their Vampires are pushing the remaining FotS members into a sandwich between them. Pam drops her immediate attacker and runs up to Eric. He hands Layla's body over to her, gently, and I see a single read tear break loose of Pam's eyes and slip down her cheek as she cradles her mistress, realizing that she is dead. Then she turns to get the body out of the church.

With his hands free, Eric takes his sword firmly in hand again and then... lord help the humans who are left. I take out a few of them as they try to charge me, but mostly I'm just watching Eric attempt to staunch the wound in his heart with as much blood as possible. Vampires have never been known for their mercy, but what he does now to any of the humans stupid enough to get in his path is such a gruesome sight that I have to turn away.

Twenty minutes later, the fight is over and, though Eric has lost a few Vampires, there are many more bodies on the floor than piles of ash. Eric turns to Rasul, his eyes nearly vaccant now that the killing is done, and orders him to get everyone out and burn the place down. With that he leaves the building, taking to the sky just outside the door.

I want to follow him, but I have no idea where he will go or what he will do, and now that the initial shock has passed, he has veiled the bond once more, unwilling to share his grief with me.

"Sookie, are you alright?" I turn around and see Bill walking up to me, clothes slightly bloody and torn, but otherwise no worse for the wear. I try to smile, but I just don't have it in me.

"Yeah, Bill, I'm fine thanks." I say. Bill comes up beside me and I feel his hand go to the small of my back, ushering me out of the building. Normally, I wouldn't like anyone to be so physically pushy with me, (Bill especially) but right now I feel so numb, so inert from the events of the evening, that it's kind of a relief to have someone else take the reins, even if it's just to get me moving out the door before this place goes up in flames.

"I didn't think that I would see you here." I say. I know that it's been a long time since all the drama that happened between Bill, me, and Eric, but I always got the sense I was just the latest reason for them to dislike each other, so it's a little surprising to see him here now.

"I would do anything for my Queen." I feel a frown forming on my face. It's probably not the first time Bill has said such a thing, but I get the sense from the reverence in his voice that he's not saying he would defend the position, but rather, that he would do anything for Layla, specifically.

"What was she like?" I find myself asking. I don't want the only memory I have of this woman to be the one of her laying nearly naked, bruised, cut, and burned in a pool of her own blood. Bill's face takes on a far away expression for a moment and then I see pain cross his face.

"She was kind. She was funny, intelligent, beautiful, and worldly as well, but more than anything else she was kind. She did not deserve this." Bill and I walk several blocks in silence after that, until we come to his car. "Are you staying at the residence, or is there somewhere else you'd like me to take you?" He asks, always the Southern gentleman.

"I hadn't really thought that far, actually. I'm staying at a hotel, but my suite had a little...accident this afternoon, so I'm not sure where to go." Bill nods.

"I'll take you to the residence with me then, there are plenty of rooms there." He says. The drive to the residence is mostly silent. When we arrive, Bill is waved in without a problem. He goes straight to the Housekeeper and arranges a room for me, walking me there himself.

"Thanks Bill, I really appreciate it." Bill just smiles sadly.

"Are you returning to Bon Temps tomorrow? We could return together if so?" He asks. It's a good question. Another one I haven't given much contemplation to. Technically my job here is done and so I have no reason to stay. And yet...

"No, I'm going to stay here for a while. Eric is...maybe I can help him." I say, my voice betraying my doubt. Bill just smiles minutely and nods his head.

"I figured as much. It's a good thing. Now, more than ever, Eric will need his bonded." Bill turns to leave, but I stop him. I don't know why. It's just a simple statement, and yet it feels like he's saying something bigger, something I don't quite understand.

"What do you mean, Bill? Why would he need his bonded? I want to stay and help him, I do, but why would he need me any more now than he has at any other time in the last half century?" Bill gives me a questioning look and I realize that he thought, up until now, that Eric had explained all of this 'bonding' stuff to me. When he figures out that Eric never did, he gives me a sad look and takes my hand, giving it a little squeeze.

"Sweetheart, no matter what has happened between you, no matter what pain you have caused each other, you are still his bonded- one half of his soul. He cannot be made well again without you." I still don't really understand, but I'm too tired and worn from this horrible night, from this whole horrible **day**, to ask for a clearer explanation.

"Thanks for everything Bill. I'll see you when I get home." I say. Bill gives my hand one last squeeze and then he turns to leave. When I'm alone again, I lock the door and begin to shed my clothes robotically. I walk into the bathroom, turn on the shower as hot as it will go and just stand under the spray until my skin starts to turn red. While the water hits me, Bill's words play over and over again in my head. I'm not really thinking about them, it's more like they're an almost meditative chant playing over and over in my head. Suddenly, as often happens when your conscious mind clicks off and the rest of it kicks in, I realize something very profound.

I haven't felt whole in a very long time. I have felt so much better in the last few days than I have in a long time, but I had chalked that up to the fact that I was no longer trying to jam my square self into a round hole. Maybe it's more than that. Maybe it's more than just accepting what I am, and trying to use my gifts for some good. Maybe it's Eric. Maybe what Bill said, however vague and 'Vampire mysterious' as it was, is true. Maybe to be complete, to be whole, to be well, I need Eric. And if that's really the truth then undoubtedly he needs me right now.

I make a decision right then and there. No matter what happens, no matter how hard it might be to sit by and watch him grieve for another woman, I will not leave him. I did that before; I ran like hell and it caused me nothing but pain. I told him I wanted to try to be his friend and I meant it. I will be whatever he needs. I have to try.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: As always thank you, thank you, thank you to those who have dropped me reviews, put this story on alert and in their favorites. I know everyone says it, but it's true, that stuff keeps me writing. I, of course, cannot start an update without thanking my beta/editor Sheknitsnicely. I can't gush enough about you, you have made this story better in every way, and not just my grammer and spelling (although I'm sure we all thank you for that) but your support and advice as well! You Rock!_

_Last note: I'm sorry that I'm only updating with one chapter- I know i've done that twice in this story now, I'm terrible- but this chapter is kind of the odd man out. It didn't fit with what came before it and it doesn't fit with the tone of what comes after, but it's necessary to understand the interpseronal dynamics of the rest of the story so I'm posting it alone, but will be updating again early in the week with more. Okay on with it! :)_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing..._

Sookie's POV

When I wake up late the next afternoon, it's with a sense of purpose I haven't felt in many, many years. I call the hotel and make arrangements to have all my things brought over to the residence, and making sure that they understand that any damage to the room needs to be charged to my personal credit card, and not the one that was used to make my original reservation. I have a quick breakfast while I wait for my things to be delivered, and then I shower and dress for the evening.

The sun has just set when I leave my room. I haven't explored any of the residence yet, but there isn't any time to do that now. Instead, I make my way downstairs and straight to Eric's office. I'm not exactly sure what it is that I will say to him, but I intend to make it clear that I'm not leaving him in his time of need.

As I approach his study I see the door is slightly ajar. I can hear a TV on in the background.

"...Fire is responsible for the destruction of the Fellowship of the Sun's main headquarters in New Orlean's last night. No suspects have been named at this time, but police say they believe that arson was involved. In other news, the New Orleans Police Department says it still has no leads in the investigation regarding the disappearance of Layla Sands-Northman. However, many in the supernatural community are crying foul play and pointing to the afore mentioned Fellowship of the Sun as a suspect to be considered in the disappearance of the supernatural rights activist and wife of prominent New Orleans businessman and Vampire, Eric Northman..." Suddenly I hear a loud crashing noise and the sounds from the TV stop.

I push the door open slightly, knocking as I do, and am surprised to find Pam sitting behind Eric's desk. She lifts her head from where it rests on her hands when she hears my knock, and I can see plainly the streaks of red that run down her face. Pam sniffles slightly and brings a tissue to her eyes, trying to hastily wipe away the evidence of her grief.

"Sookie, the Housekeeper mentioned you were here. What can I do for you?" She says. Her words are uninterested, but the tone behind them is unmistakable. I'm the last person she wants to see right now.

"Pam, I'm sorry to bother you. I was looking for Eric." I say. I see her eyes narrow at that and she pins me with a cold look.

"Eric left for the airport ten minutes ago." She says, a note of caution in her voice.

"Is he going back to Shreveport?" I ask. For some reason this question seems to anger Pam and she rises from behind his desk and comes to walk around it.

"What business is that of yours?" She asks, hostility now plain in her voice. It wasn't that I thought Pam would just accept me back. I know that, no matter what friendship we might have had in the past, the pain I caused her maker would override any small affection she might have felt for me. But still, it hurts to realize how far I still have to go with just about everyone if I wish to be a part of their world once again. I know that I've changed a great deal, but of course no one else has any reason to believe that.

"Pam, please, I'm not here to cause trouble..." I start to say, but she cuts me off almost immediately, coming up in front of my face so fast that I step back in surprise when I realize she's so close to me.

"You had better not be. You've already caused my master enough trouble to last him at least another century." She growls.

"Pam, I know and..." She cuts me off again.

"Good, then thank you for your help, such as it was. Please leave. You said yourself that you came back to Bon Temps for peace, not to be pulled back into our shit. So go back and leave Eric alone!" Pam is yelling so loudly now that I'm starting to get agitated. But instead of being scared as I might have been before, I feel myself having to tightly rein in my magic, which wants to respond in self-defense to the Vampire who is standing so near, clearly threatening me.

"I am not leaving Pam! I want to help. I want to help him!" I say, feeling the desperation in my own voice. I don't know why I feel that this is so important, but I do. I feel certain that I can help him. Maybe we can never get back what I so carelessly gave up, but I can help him.

"You have no right to help him! You're the reason he's in pain right now. You're ALWAYS the reason he's in pain. First, you lead him on for years, then you toss him aside. You repay his taking over three kingdoms to keep you safe by marrying another man. One so far below my maker that it's almost detestable to think about, and now, because of you Layla is dead! Even after he finds happiness, even after he finds a woman worthy of him, one who loves him and treats him as he deserves, you still manage to ruin everything for him!" I step back again, stunned by what she's said.

"Pam, what are you talking about?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "What do you mean he took over three kindgdoms for me? What do you mean Layla is dead because of me?" Part of me doesn't want to know. Part of me wants to do exactly what Pam asked me to; turn tail and run back to Bon Temps, back to my farmhouse, to just hide. But the larger part of me knows that I can't. I still don't know why it's so important to me that I stay and help him, I can only say that it feels as though my very soul is demanding it, and I know that, if I'm to help him, then I first need to be forgiven for what I did. And to do that I need to actually know the extent of the damage that I caused.

If I were still just the little human I was years ago, I would be utterly petrified by the look on Pam's face right now. But I know that I can hold my own against her physically, not that I intend to let it come to that, and I know I just have to know.

"Two months after you left him, we learned that Felipe had found out about the breaking of your pledge. He was going to take you to Las Vegas to work for him. He also let Victor know that, since Eric had been unable to keep a hold of you, he was not nearly as valuable as he was before and that, if Victor wanted Area 5, all he had to do was take it." I know the shock is evident on my face. I never, for a moment, dreamed when I said all those hateful things to Eric, that I would never see him again.

I was in such a dark place that night, and the other nights before it, that I spoke without thinking. I lashed out simply because anger was a better feeling than pain. I never dreamed that I wouldn't get to say I was sorry, or that he wouldn't forgive me. When it finally sunk in that this time he wouldn't, I was to wrapped up in my own self-pity to really contemplate what it would mean politically for him, or even for myself. It doesn't surprise me that Felipe would stoop so low, but it does make me angry yet again that I actually bothered to save his life! Pam only nods her head when she sees my reaction.

"Eric had no choice but to take over to save his own skin. But the whole time that we planned and plotted and worried, I knew he wasn't doing it to save himself. Even after everything you said to him, he was doing it for you! And what for? The whole time, you were rolling around in the dirt with that Shifter! The night after Eric became King, he was so excited. I just knew he was going to go to you and beg you to give him another chance. He was so proud, he couldn't wait to tell you how you were truly safe now, and how he'd done it all, for you. Instead I had to be the one to tell him that you weren't there; that you'd gone off on your honeymoon with the dog!"

"Don't call him that!" I shout at her. "I know you're angry at me, okay? I fucking get it, but don't talk about Sam like that. He never did anything but what I asked him, and he did it because he loved me, which might have made him damn stupid, but he doesn't deserve to be talked about like that. You're angry with me, not him!" I yell back at her, but my sudden surge of temper is short. "Tell me the rest." I say, looking her straight in the eye.

"He wouldn't have needed to ask for your help in finding Layla if he'd been able to bond with her. But he couldn't, because he's still stuck to you! She'd be alive right now, if only we could have gotten to her a little earlier. He would have known right away that she was in trouble, and none of this would have happened in the first place. Except that the mistake he made all those years ago, when he thought you were worth all of this trouble, he can never get out of now, since it appears you won't be doing any of us a favor and dying anytime soon!" I try to stifle the sob that wants to break out at that. I don't doubt for a second any of the things she's told me, and of course I can't help but agree with her that I am most definitely the cause of so much of his pain. Nor do I think she would care to know how many times I've thought about doing her, and Eric and myself that favor, and ending myself.

"Pam..." I have no idea what I can possibly say to make it better, or to make her understand that I do want to help. "I can't change any of the things that happened, no matter how sorry I am for all of it. I am sorry for hurting Eric and for throwing all he did for me back in his face. I am sorry that I didn't understand what I had until it was too late. I won't apologize for marrying Sam, he was a good man and I loved him, so I won't say I didn't just to make myself look better now, but I am sorry that I played any role in keeping Eric from getting Layla back. I tried to help him. I never wanted-still don't want- to cause him trouble. Pam, I can feel his pain, like it's my own. He's so distraught that he can't keep it from me. I can't go back to Bon Temps and try to ignore it, not because it affects me, but because I can't stand to know that he's enduring this alone. I have made so many mistakes, Pam, and I know that you know that, but don't think I don't know it too. I don't want anything but to be his friend and to help him, and who better than someone who knows exactly what he's feeling, and exactly how much he's hurting? Please, let me stay! Please, let me try to be of some help!" My voice is so strangled with emotion that I can barely get the last words out, but when I finish I see Pam's face take on a thoughtful appearance. It gives me hope, at least she isn't looking at me as though she intends to kill me where I stand anymore.

"You are his bonded, nothing can change that," she says, as though she is thinking through a particularly hard puzzle. "And I know that, whatever else you are, you are not a liar, so I know you are sincere," I just stand still, trying not to get my hopes up. "I will let you stay, but only as long as you are a help to him. The second you so much as **look** like you're going to throw one of your childish temper tantrums, I will throw you out on your ass, shiney new fae powers and all. Do you understand me?" I try not to let the relief I feel show on my face.

"Thank you Pam." I say simply.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: As always thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, put it on alert, and in their favorites. And of course thank you to my beta: Sheknitsnicely- you are the best. These next two chapters center mostly on Eric, though we will be seeing a bit of Sookie at the end, and the beginning of their new dynamic. I hope you enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Eric's POV

I wandered for two nights before I found the perfect tree. Trees in what is now Norway are a precious commodity to begin with, and I could not use just any one. No, it needed to be perfect. In my youth it would take many, many trees to make a long boat, but this one did not need to take fifteen large men across the sea, just one slender woman to the bottom of it.

Even with my enhanced speed, it took another three nights to fashion it. I would not accept help. It was not fitting that anyone else should take part in making it. As I worked the wood, I thought of my youth, I thought of my life since becoming a vampire, I thought about the happy and the painful, and I let the meditative process of carving calm me, let it help me accept what I could not change. Vampires generally stay away from wood of any kind (for obvious reasons) so perhaps I was tempting fate by doing this myself, daring the beings that direct our lives to take me as well. But it did not happen, and at the end of the third night it was complete.

The next night, the cars arrived from the airport. My home here is not as large as the royal residence in New Orleans or the main residence in Shreveport where Layla and I had spent most of our time, but it was big enough to house the small number of my staff that had come to help with the funeral, and the majority of the most important guests. When Pam stepped out of the first car, already barking orders, I could not help but smile, despite my grief. She had everything in hand and would make sure that all ran smoothly, first during the funeral and afterwards running my kingdom until I was ready to return to my duties. I was free to do as I needed to do to heal, thanks to her. It always strikes me at the most inopportune moments how truly wonderful my child is, and how very much I love her and am proud of her. When all of this is over, I promised myself, I will do something special to thank her.

As I turned to make my way back into the house I got one more surprise. Stepping out of the passenger seat of Pam's car was Sookie. I could not tell you at that exact moment whether it was a happy surprise or not. My feelings regarding her were so muddled. She had changed, I had seen that in the two nights we had interacted, and yet she had caused me so much pain and heartache, was there anything she could ever do to make that up to me? I wasn't even sure that I cared at this point. My mind, heart, and soul were entirely filled with the grief of my loss. There was no room there to think about anything else, and yet, I could not help but wonder why she was here.

I put the thought out of my mind and decided to concentrate on waiting for the most important guest who was due to arrive. I walked into the woods, for many miles under the moonlight to the base of a waterfall that hedged my property. There I waited for an hour until the space in front of me began to glow with a red-black light. Within a moment, the lit space was filled with an imposing figure, almost as tall as myself with long, straight, ebony hair reaching down to his thighs, and emerald green eyes, just the same shade as his daughter's had been. When Idris took the last step fully into this world I went down on one knee.

"Father," I say, bowing my head and holding my hand to my heart as I kneel before him. I have felt only grief and sadness in the last days, but now as I bow before my wife's father I feel the first stirrings of anger. I have failed. He had entrusted his most precious possession to me, and thought that, because I was an ancient, one almost as old as he, that he could trust me to keep his child safe; but I had failed miserably. Perhaps, daring the fates to kill me with a stray wood chip while making Layla's coffin was nothing more than a childish wish to escape what would be my very painful and justified death at the hands of this creature.

"Eric, rise." He says to me. When I do, I see the sorrow and grief in his eyes, mirroring my own. Instead of the end of his sword though, he offers me the comfort of his arms, embracing me and allowing me to share my anguish with the only other being who can understand how great it truly is.

"I am sorry... I am so sorry. I tried to save her, but I was too late." Idris pulls back just slightly then, so that we are eye to eye.

"I do not blame you Eric. I know that you would have fought any battle to get her back. She was mortal, her death was always coming and nothing you or I could have done would have prevented that. We must accept it." I try to accept what he has said, but part of me simply cannot. She was mortal, yes, but not human...not completely. We should have had centuries more together. Idris, pulls me out of my dark thoughts, this time with one of his own. "Have you sought vengeance on her murderers?" He asks, his voice taking on the hard lilt of a creature so old and so powerful that most could not comprehend what he has seen or what he has done in his long lifetime. My body's response is instinctive. My fangs slam down and a little of the human facade that we have all learned to acquire falls away.

"On the ones who hurt her, yes. But there are many more like them, and they will all pay for what was done to her!" I say, my voice barely more than a hiss in the cold night air. Idris nods and then we make our way back to the house in silence. Our grief like a heavy bundle, burdening us both, but made just that little bit easier to bear by the knowledge that it is shared.

When we arrive at the house I take him to my chamber. She lays there in the wooden boat that I have made for her. Her maids have dressed her and arranged her hair. Demon's do not decay as humans do, or disintegrate like Vampires and some other supernaturals do. On this plain, their bodies will remain as they were when they died for all eternity if they are left alone. Fire is the only way to send her to her peace.

The majority of Layla's injuries are covered by the beautiful red dress she wears and so, when her father looks on her body for the first time, I find some solace in knowing that he will be spared the pain of seeing her injuries. I step back and allow him his moment to say goodbye to her. When he is done he turns to me one last time.

"If my usual room is ready, I will retire there now. I shall see you tomorrow night, my son." He says, a single tear running down his cheek. I nod and he leaves me alone with her. When I step in front of her again, I see that he has placed something around her neck. It takes only a moment to recognize the locket that Idris gave to Layla's mother so long ago. Never having cared very much for anyone in my centuries on this earth I realize that, until now, I have been spared the great pain of having to let go of others when they inevitably... stop. For Idris, this will be second time in a single century that he has lost something of great value to him; first his wife, and now their child, all in the space of just a few years. Perhaps I was better off before. I do not think that I wish to care for anything or anyone for a very long time.

As I stare down at my wife, a shift in the moonlight outside causes my eyes to fall to the sparkling stone on her ring finger. Despite my pain, I cannot help but smile to myself when I think back on the night, twenty-one years ago, when I gave it to her. I made such a terrible mess of that night. She was simply always too difficult to resist. All my best laid plans and rehearsed words went completely out the window the moment she opened the door and I saw her standing there, looking more beautiful and more desirable than any woman had a right to be. The night didn't go as I planned, but it was wonderful none-the-less...

_..."Whoo," she says, exhaling loudly and throwing herself back on the pillow. I can't help but snort at that. She's about the brashest person when it comes to sex, and I have to say that I love it! "Can we still make our dinner reservation?" she asks, throwing her hand over her forehead and trying to catch her breath. _

_"I think we blew our reservations somewhere around your third orgasm," I say. She just laughs and makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. _

_"Ah well, no plate of food could have been as good as that third orgasm anyway!" I look over at her and, though I'm beyond pleased that she enjoyed herself, I'm entirely irritated with myself for getting sidetracked so early in the evening. I can never seem to control myself around her. "Why don't you just relax, and I'll go and order something? That way we can stay right here for the rest of the evening!" She says, lifting herself into a sitting position and leaning over to brush her lips against the curve of my neck. I have to suppress the growl that rises up in me. I have to find some way to salvage this evening. When I don't make a response, Layla looks at me, the question obvious... I don't ever not respond. "Is everything alright?" _

_"This isn't the way I planned on this evening going, that's all," I say, the irritation seeping into my voice. Layla's raises a questioning eyebrow at this._

_"It's just a restaurant Eric, we can go any time, we can go tomorrow if it really means that much to you. Still, I can't figure out what the big deal is. It can't be that much fun watching me eat. Now on the other hand, if you're still hungry I'd be happy to offer seconds?" She leers at me, throwing her heavy, long ebony hair behind her shoulder and rising up to sit on my lap, straddling me. Part of me is tempted, very tempted, I've never been able to say no to those lovely, perfectly rounded little breasts, especially when they're swaying so close to my mouth, but the other part of me is feeling that persistent frustration. I wanted this evening to be romantic._

_"It's not about the restaurant," I say, my voice taking on an unpleasantly petulant tone, even to my own ears. Layla just smiles indulgently. _

_"Then what is it about?" She asks, still sitting on top of me. I take her hips in my hands and lean over, bringing my mouth to the underside of her jaw, and placing a gentle kiss there, trying to assure her that, despite my temper, it's not her that I'm upset with._

_"I wanted to take you to New Orleans tonight. We were going to go to a little restaurant there and then I wanted to show you a house I just purchased. I was hoping you would want to...help me fix it up." Good god, first the plan goes out the window, and now I cannot even find the right words. And I know I've said the wrong ones when Layla scrunches up her face in a combination of question and disappointment._

_"Love, I always enjoy our time together, no matter what we do, but I have to say I'm a little confused right now. You're upset that we ended up spending the majority of the evening having wild, uninhibited sex instead of flying to New Orleans to make a list of...property upgrades?" I sigh in exasperation and decide to just cut to the chase as my whole elaborate plan is in the toilet now anyway. Leaning down, I reach for my dress pants and pull out the little black box inside, handing it to her. Layla looks down at it, confused, and then back up at me._

_"Open it." I instruct her. She gives me one last raised eyebrow and then opens the box. She looks inside but doesn't say anything. Now I'm truly worried. Maybe she doesn't understand what it is. It's not your typical ring, but then my Layla is not a typical woman, and I wouldn't have her wearing anything that looks like something any other woman might have. Instead of diamonds I picked a large oval emerald, just the same color as her eyes, with ten smaller stones that are imbedded in the band. "I wanted to show you the house I bought...for us. I hoped you might consent to live there with me...when we are married." She's still staring at the ring when a single tear breaks loose of her long dark eyelashes. _

_Oh god, now I've made her cry. I know this whole night didn't work out as I planned, I certainly never meant to propose to her naked after sex, but surely the thought of marrying me can't be that awful to her? My thoughts turn dark for one moment as I think back on how badly I misjudged the feelings of the only other woman I have loved. Maybe I have misjudged again. Just when I'm about to lose myself in pain and self-recrimination, Layla tosses the ring and the box gently down on the bed and wraps her arms around me, burying her face in my neck._

_"Oh my God! Yes, of course yes!" I feel the breath I didn't know I was holding release and I wrap my arms around her._

_"Yes?" I ask, not quite believing it._

_"Yes!" She replies her voice taking on a happy, laughing lilt. I pull away from her for one moment and just look at her. My woman, my soon to be wife. I never thought that I could be happy again. I never thought after...what happened that I would ever love again, and yet here I am...here she is. She is so young, so beautiful, yet there is something so old and wise just behind those emerald colored eyes. I cannot believe that she has consented to be well and truly mine. I take the ring out of the box and put it on her finger. She stares down at it as well._

_"It's so beautiful. I can't believe it's for me." She says. Suddenly she gets a sly look on her face. "What would you have done if I'd said no?" I can tell that she's only teasing me and so I play along, confident now that she will not have to find out what I would have done if she'd said no._

_"I'll deny it if you ever tell anyone, of course, but I was prepared to beg." She laughs long and loud at that and then she pushes me back down on the pillows._

_"You need never worry about begging me for anything, my King," She gives me another sly leer as she begins to kiss her way down my chest, "unless of course it's to let you come!"..._

And she would give me two more decades of wonderful nights. Through my many centuries on this earth I had never understood love. It always seemed such a waste of energy to feel so strongly, and from what I could tell it mostly seemed to end in unhappiness for those that were foolish enough to let themselves be sucked in. Certainly my first attempt at love only reinforced those beliefs.

But Layla taught me that real love is not dramatic, it is not being in a continual state of longing and misery. True love is filled with joy, and returned without condition. True love is in the quiet moments and the shared experiences. True love lives in the times when things don't go as you planned, but when just the presence of the other person makes it all turn out better than you could have hoped for. My dead heart literally aches as I look down on her now, looking so much as though she is only sleeping, though I know that she is not. I had to let her go. I had no choice in it. Yet, even knowing how it had ended, I would not trade a single night of the last twenty -two years.

Lifting her hand gently, I take the ring off of her finger. Taking a chain out of my pocket, I put her ring on it, and secure the chain around my neck. Then I take my own wedding ring off and put it in the palm of her hand, closing her fingers around it.

"So you can take me with you wherever you go," I whisper to her gently, and then I touch her ring, which falls just to where my no longer beating heart rests in my chest, "and so I may take you wherever I go." I lean down and kiss her lips gently one last time. Her skin is so cold now that she is almost the same temperature as me. I stifle the sob that wants to escape when I realize this, and go to lie in our bed. Dawn is coming. We will rest together in the same room for one more day, and then tomorrow, just after sunset, Idris, Pam, and I will send her to her rest. And, I hope, to peace.


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Eric's POV

The ceremony has its own sort of beauty, but I feel very little that is not pain throughout the whole thing. Idris and I lifted the boat from its place in my chamber just after I rose this night and carried it to the water. The men and women who had come to see a Queen laid to rest lined the path. As we walked, I paid almost no attention to what happened around me, but here and there I would pick out a face in the crowd. Someone she had worked closely with in her fight for equality, someone she had shown a great kindness too, someone from my retinue who all had loved her for her strength, and beauty, and the fierce loyalty she gave to those who were loyal to her in return, they all traveled this great distance to say goodbye to her.

We stop at the edge of the water, those that had lined the path folding in behind us as we walked, making an endless train of bodies to the sea. Pam, Bjorn (the king of Norway) and his Queen, Rasul, and Sookie are there at the front. Idris and I lower the boat onto the sand. Then he begins to recite the incantation that will take Layla's soul from her body and return it to wherever demon's believe it goes after this life. I stand still, respectful, but part of me wants to shut his mouth with anything I can find. I do not want her soul to leave. I want it to stay here with me, always.

When he finishes, Rasul and Pam lift the boat, placing it in the water, and Bjorn and his wife hand lit torches to Idris and me. Together we walk into the water, and set fire to the straw surrounding her. When the boat burns on its own we walk back to the beach and Pam and Rasul push it off into the waves.

We all stand and watch for who knows how long, until the sight of the flames can no longer be seen from the shore. Then, one by one, they disperse, till only Idris and I remain on the beach.

"Does it bring back memories for you Eric?" He asks softly. I do not look at him as I answer, keeping my eyes on the last place I saw the flames.

"Not really. I remember one or two times attending such a rite, but I buried my first wife. I have never sent off anyone I cared for in such a way." Idris only nods.

"I have sent far too many people I cared for off in this way. And now there are no more left." This time I nod. There is really nothing I can say to him.

"You will seek further vengeance?" He asks me, and out of the corner of my eye I can see that this question brings the light back into his eyes, if only for a second.

"I will." I answer. He nods.

"Then I will leave you to what must be done, I am needed at home." I nod to him. I have never been entirely clear what position he holds, or why he chose to leave his human wife and half human daughter in this realm instead of taking them with him, but I know he is no simple man. Perhaps that is why Layla accepted me and everything that came with me so easily, when the package had been so unpleasant to another. Perhaps she was simply used to the fact that a man worth having didn't come without some extras. Though our familial connection to one another is technically at an end, I have no doubt that Idris and I will cross paths again, and perhaps one day I will have an answer to my question.

Idris turns then and leaves to make his way back to the portal that will take him home. I stay on the beach for a while longer, staring into the black waves, and then I too turn back. But I find that I cannot return to the house. There are too many people, too much activity there. I need quiet, solitude. I am not ready to deal with life and all of its demands yet. I wish to stay a little longer with death.

I find myself walking back to the waterfall as well. Besides being the location of a portal to the demon world, it is also a place of great peace and beauty. The sounds of the water cascading down the rock face and rushing into the pool below are soothing in a way that helps me almost turn off my brain. Just at the last moment though, I hear the sound of a twig breaking somewhere near me and I turn around fast, prepared to defend myself against any attack.

Instead of an attack though I see something extraordinary, beautiful, and unexpected. Coming from the other side of the waterfall, from deeper in the woods, and making her way in the direction of the house, is a fairy. Her skin has an iridescent blue glow to it that makes her golden hair shine like a halo. Her scent is amazing and, without warning, I feel my fangs slam down. The sight seems to evoke a memory that is just out of my reach- there but not accessible. I am about to begin stalking this other worldly beauty, preparing to make a snack of her when I pull up short. From a distance she did not look anything but beautiful, delicious, and quite foolish to be walking so near a Vampire's home. But now that I am closer I can see that it is not just any fairy, but Sookie.

I watch her for a little while, intrigued that she seems so caught up in her own thoughts that she doesn't notice anything around her. Sookie's self preservation instincts were never very good, but I am astonished that it seems no one has taught her anything about survival when they handed her all those fancy new powers. Can it be that she has been dealing with them alone all this time?

All of a sudden though, she seems brought from her thoughts and begins to look around as though she finally realizes she is not alone. Sookie peers through the trees and, at that moment, the clouds that had been obscuring the moon part and she looks directly at me.

"Eric." She says softly.

"Sookie." I answer her. She comes closer to me, but stops at the other end of the pool. "I thought you were still at the beach." She says.

"There is nothing there for me anymore." I reply. "But I could not go back to the house...too many people." She nods her head and I see a sad expression cross her face. I do not wish to share my pain with anyone, least of all her, as ironic as that may seem, since I am doomed to spend many, many more years, wasting energy blocking her from feeling what I feel. But there is something that I must know, a question that she may be the only person on Earth who can answer. Sookie cocks her head to the side as if sensing that there is something I need of her.

"What is it?" She asks gently. I think about whether I really want to know the answer to this for one last long moment and then I open my mouth.

"Did you..." I take a deep breath and try again. "Were you able to read anything from Layla's mind before we opened the door?" I say in a rush, so that the asking will be over sooner. I see a look of utter sorrow cross Sookie's face and, for a moment, I wish that I had listened to my better instincts and not asked.

"Yes, she wasn't perfectly clear to me, but yes. I was able to read her." She says, and I can see that there is a distinct note of caution in her voice. I forge ahead.

"I need to know. I...why did she kill herself? Even if she thought we were more of her tormentors, surely she must have known I was coming. Did she have so little faith in me?" The words hurt so much to say. To question her faith in me is to question her love and it burns down to my own soul to do so. But still, in all the days that I have been here, it is the one question that has plagued me, the one thought that will give me no peace. Could my wife actually have thought that I was not coming for her?

I see Sookie's eyes get watery, and a few tears slip down her face. The Vampire in me wants desperately to cross the space between us and capture them before they fall to the ground, wasted. But the man in me refuses to allow it.

"Eric, I'm not sure how to answer you. It's not an easy question. I can only tell you that, when we were down there, her mind was in total chaos. I don't think that she was even remotely sane in the end. But I know earlier in the day when I felt her there, she was thinking of you." I look up at her now, desperate to believe what she is saying. I plead with her with my eyes to tell me more.

"What was she thinking?" Sookie, comes just a little bit closer to me now, and her scent, so much stronger when she uses her fairy powers, invades my nostrils once again. I force myself to stop breathing and try to concentrate on her words, which mean so much to me right now, so much more than her scent.

"She was thinking of your face. She was thinking of what you looked like in candlelight, and the way you would smile at her, like no woman has ever been smiled at before." She trails off for a moment, looking down to the ground, seemingly trying to order her thoughts. "It's so hard Eric, even that day she wasn't...I don't think she was well, but I didn't realize it at the time. I knew she was in pain, I had expected that, but her brain was so hard to read. I thought that I had just gotten one really good thought from her, but maybe that was really her only coherent thought. But I know she was thinking of your face, and how much she loved it. She was using it, almost as a comfort. Eric, I'm sure, I'm positive that she knew in that coherent moment that you were coming for her." I feel a knot inside me unwind. She can't know how much what she has just said means to me.

It's another moment though before I realize that my face is wet. The tears that I have been unable to cry this past week start to fall, like a red river from my eyes. Suddenly, Sookie is in front of me. At first I'm almost startled, but when I look at her I see nothing but compassion and sorrow in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Eric. I'm so sorry." She says, and she wraps her arms around me, offering me comfort. At any other moment I would have turned her away. But I knew that she had shared something with me, given me something no one else could- Layla's last thoughts- and I knew that she understood how deeply my pain ran. And so I wrap my arms around her as well.

"Let go, Eric." She says, over and over, holding me and stroking my hair like a child as I fold my frame over hers, nearly overwhelming her with the difference in our sizes. At first I'm not sure what she means. I lift my head just slightly to look her in the eye, and she smiles at me, a warm, genuine smile. "You don't have to hold it in, not the tears or the pain. Let me help you. Let me carry some of it for you." Suddenly I realize what she is asking me to do and it only makes me weep harder. Without much real thought I let the veil fall between us and let my emotions flood from me into her.

Sookie gasps at first, and I know that the force of so much sorrow flooding into her at once must be overwhelming for her, but she doesn't flinch, or make any other sign that she is distressed. Instead, she only holds me tighter, whispering comforting words to me, letting me share my pain.

I don't know how long we stand there like that, my pain flooding into her, and her strength and comfort washing over me. But after a time, I disengage from her. I see that the shoulder of her dress is ruined.

"I ruined your dress." I say, the filter between my brain and mouth also apparently turned off. She just looks down at it and laughs softly.

"Well, I guess you owed me for all the shirts of yours I used to ruin." She squeezes my arm where her hand is still making soothing passes up and down it and I look at her almost as though I'm seeing her for the first time. She is so familiar and so new all at once. She has changed and yet apparently some things will always be the same. She is my bonded and, though I don't know why, I am glad that she chose to be here with me on this night, that she chose to stay when years ago she would have turned her back on me and my pain without a second thought.

I do not know if we will ever be able to come to any kind of peace between us, but I would like to hope that perhaps it is possible. Perhaps there is a place for each of us in the other's life, perhaps we really can be friends. It seems, as I look down on her completely unlined face, that we will still be joined in this connection that was made so hastily, and for so many wrong reasons, all those years ago, for a long time to come. I have lost so much of my soul tonight, and, I do not wish to let the other piece of it walk away from me again.

"Thank you," I say softly. Sookie shakes her head.

"Thank you, for so many things, but most especially for letting me be with you on the beach tonight and here now." I nod at her. I don't need a further explanation for why she desires to be here. This connection between us, though it has never manufactured feelings, has always made us acutely aware of the other, and I know now that it is the bond that calls to each one of us to come together, to try to heal the hurt that affects us both, even if it belongs to only one of us. And I no longer have the strength to hide from her, to block her, to attempt to rid my mind of her. I know now that I need her here to heal, just as I knew all those years ago, when she fought me so hard, that she needed me to heal.

We turn without further words and head back to the house. We do not talk and we do not touch, but just her presence beside me, and the ability to share my pain through our connection already makes me feel a little more light.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: As always a big thank you to everyone who is checking out this story, your reviews, alerts, and favorites are keeping me writing. And you know I have to thank my beta Sheknitsnicely- this story is so wonderful because of her painstaking hard work editing, suggesting changes, and giving encouragement! You're the best and your mine! I could not be happier!_

_Okay so, from here it's going to be about friendship and a little more. It's time for Sookie and Eric to really reconnect. I hope you enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Sookie's POV

"Your Majesty, Ms. Stackhouse, please re-take your seats and fasten your seatbelts. We'll be starting our initial descent into Shreveport momentarily," the captain says over the intercom as I reach over to re-fasten my lap buckle. Eric takes his empty bottle of blood and puts it in the trash and then holds out his hand for my book so he can stow it back in my bag in the holding compartment.

I have so many mixed feelings about returning to Bon Temps this time. The last six months in Stavanger have been...well, the happiest I've had in a long, long time. It's really a horrible thing to say considering the reason that we were there but, if only to myself, I will admit it.

Eric and I seemed to have come to some kind of understanding that night in the woods. For better or worse, we both realized that we needed each other. That, given everything that had happened to us both, we were better off trying to heal together rather than apart.

At first, Eric's sorrow and pain were so great that they were almost overwhelming, and so I mostly attempted to find things to do that would distract him. We watched inane movies, and I made him take me into the city proper to show me all the sites, which led to Eric telling me stories about his childhood. Stavanger is the city (though it wasn't much of a city during Eric's human life), that his father was King of, and his home there now, just a few miles outside of the city, is on the land that his people farmed. We took hikes into the woods each night and, even though Eric could see just fine in the dark, he often asked me to 'glow' (as he put it) just to see me do it. Given that I was trying to cheer him up, I was game for almost any request.

But the thing that made him most happy, it seemed, was training me. I don't even know how it happened, but one night, about a month after the funeral we were hiking in the woods and Eric asked me how I could have been so stupid as to glow in the dark and let off all of that tempting fae scent so near to a house full of Vampires. Years ago I would have been deeply offended by such bluntness, but now, even if I didn't want to, I had to admit that he was right. It was stupid, and I couldn't tell him why I'd done it.

When I just shrugged my shoulders, Eric asked me who had let me walk around with all these powers but not taught me the simplest things about self-preservation. When I told him that, besides a few cryptic conversations with Claude, I'd been mostly handling the onset of my powers by myself, Eric just nodded, as though I'd confirmed something for him. After that, he made it a point to start teaching me the basics. It, more than anything, served as the best distraction for him and, as I got the basics down, Eric started to have more fun with it, pulling out the swords and knives.

Of course, no amount of distraction could completely take his mind off of what had happened, and there were many nights, especially in the beginning, when I found him in his room, unable to even rise from bed. Those nights were the hardest. I could feel his grief through our bond and I knew that, no matter how much he was willing to let me try and cheer him, he wasn't going to be well again over night.

On those nights I wouldn't push him. I just sat at the foot of his bed and let him weep, sending him my comfort and strength and trying to take as much of his sorrow as possible. Sometimes, after he'd wept, he would talk about her, telling me little stories about their life together. It hurt to hear it, I couldn't deny that, but I never once stopped him from telling me and, over time, I began to share with him too. I told him some of the happy stories from my time with Sam, some of the funnier things that had happened to me when I was learning to deal with my new abilities, or something about a place that I'd visited that I liked.

After a while, things started to feel natural between us. It felt as though we were truly becoming friends, really finding a place with each other, and it made me feel so happy... so accepted. His friendship meant so much more to me than it ever had before and, during the nights when we were together, I let him feel that happiness but nothing more.

When Eric was dead for the day, matters were a bit different though. When there was no one there to know the extent of my feelings, I let them out. Many days, just after the first rays of dawn would light the sky and I could feel Eric slip into his daytime rest, I would lay in my own bed just down the hall, and cry over my own stupidity. I cried because I'd let this man go all those years ago, when I knew, had always known, how much he meant to me. I cried because he had fallen in love with another woman and because, unlike me, she wasn't ungrateful, willful, or spoiled, and she knew exactly what a treasure his love was. I cried because I realized even now, when we had put back together some sort of real relationship, that we weren't in the same place anymore and might never be again. I cried because he wanted and needed my friendship and I wanted and needed his love. I didn't know what to do from here, or even if there was anything I could do.

Now that we were back home, I thought, I would see. I would see how well I could do without him there every night. If just seeing him on the occasions when he wanted to see me and just sharing our bond were enough. Part of me hoped it would be. I wasn't ready to beg him to give me a second chance, only to be rejected. I couldn't tell if, at this point, he could even conceive of something like that, or if his heart was still locked away from me, still yearning for Layla.

"Sookie, are you ready?" He says now, rising from his seat and holding out his hand to help me up. I'd been so lost in my thoughts I'd actually missed the plane landing. I look up at him and smile wanly, giving him my hand and allowing him to pull me upright. When we step off the plane, Pam and Thalia are waiting on the tarmac. Pam had returned to Louisiana four weeks after the funeral. She had wanted to stay longer, but someone had to run Eric's states and he didn't trust anyone to do that better than her. Eric rushes down the stairs and stops just in front of them. Thalia bows to her King and then turns and gets into Pam's SUV, giving the King and his second a moment of privacy.

"Eric." Pam says. She doesn't bow like a good subject, or embrace him like a child, but I see the hardness behind her eyes disappear and a small smile touch her mouth. As for Eric, I see a light come on behind his eyes, one that shines only for his child.

"Pamela, is all well?" He asks. She nods her head, and holds out his car keys to him.

"Everything is running smoothly." Pam looks around him for a brief moment and her eyes settle on me. "Thalia and I would be happy to take Sookie back to Bon Temps so that you can get settled back in." I feel myself frowning at that. Pam might be tolerating my presence for Eric's sake, but I really don't want to be alone with her. Nothing much has changed between us since the night in New Orleans when she told me she wished I was dead. It's more like, during the four weeks we spent in Norway together, she just sort of overlooked her extreme dislike of me to make sure that Eric wasn't burdened by it.

"Thank you Pam, but I will take her. Head back to the club and take care of things for the rest of the night and I will see you this evening." Pam looks slightly upset about that for all of a second and then she nods and turns around, getting behind the wheel of her car and peeling away.

When the flight attendants are finished putting our luggage in Eric's trunk, he opens the passenger door for me. I climb in and he's behind the wheel almost instantaneously. The drive from the air strip to Bon Temps is mostly silent, but the silence isn't unpleasant. When we arrive, Eric is out of the car and around to open my door before I even have my seatbelt undone. When I step out of the car, Eric already has my suitcase in hand, helping me carry it up the porch stairs and to my front door.

When we reach the door, I turn around and take my suitcase. I look up at Eric to find him looking down at me, a soft expression on his face. Our bond, which has remained wide open between us since the night of the funeral, tells me now that Eric is feeling sadness. I try not to let myself hope that he's sad that it's time for us to part. Instead, I just let him feel my sadness as well.

We just stand there, staring at each other for a long endless moment, and then Eric leans down, his hand softly cupping my face, and his lips gently brushing my forehead. It takes every bit of willpower that I have not to drop my suitcase on the porch and fling myself into his arms. Instead, I just stand still and try to savor the fleeting moment when his lips touch my skin. All too soon they pull away, but his hand stays, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on my cheek.

"Thank you, Sookie." he says softly. I just smile up at him, my hand coming up and covering his. "I will see you soon," he says, his lips brushing my forehead once more before he turns, getting in his car, and driving away. Once I feel the distance between us becoming great enough for our emotions to be dimmed, I lean back against the door and just let the feelings rush over me. I let all my love for him out of the cage that it stays in every night.

After a few moments, I feel under control again and I turn and walk into the house. Six months ago, when I opened this door for the first time in almost sixty years, it felt like coming home: it felt like peace, and solace, and a place to heal. Now it just feels empty.

I go through the motions for the rest of the night. Showering to take off the grit of traveling, making a cup of tea to calm myself, and staring at the same page of a book I don't even remember the title of, pretending that I'm not thinking of other things. After about an hour I just let myself sink into the sheets and stare out the window. Six months ago this place was home, but now I know that home isn't a building. Home is in a house in the woods in Norway, or a residence in New Orleans- it could be under a bridge for all the structure is worth- no, home is absolutely anywhere that my bonded is, and all I want right now is to go to him... to go home.

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I open my eyes next it's very late in the day. Despite having moved back several time zones, it appears that keeping Vampire hours overrides even jet lag. I realize all of a sudden that I've been woken up by a knocking sound at the door. I get out of bed as fast as I can, throw on a robe, and run to the door, hollering for whoever is there to hang on. When I open the door I'm greeted by a delivery man, holding a box.

"Are you Ms. Susannah Stackhouse?" He asks. I nod my head. I thought it better when I came back here to pose as my own granddaughter, since no one but Sam and possibly Sam's new wife knew that I was definitively unable to have children, so I figured I could just tell people that "Sookie" had had my mom after she and Sam divorced, which would put an end to any questions about my physical appearance.

"Sure am, is this for me?" I ask. It's been a long time since anyone has sent me anything. The delivery man just nods and hands me an electronic key pad to sign my name on. When I'm finished, he takes the pad and hands me the box. "Thanks so much!" I say, closing the door.

I take the box to the kitchen and put it down gently. I can't wait to find out what's in it, but first I need to use the ladies' room. I hurry back to the bathroom, take care of my morning (or in this case, late afternoon) needs, brush my teeth, and pull my hair back into a messy ponytail. Then I run back out to the kitchen to open my package.

I can tell already, from the size and shape of the box, that it's flowers and, sure enough, when I open it there are a dozen long stemmed red roses inside. I take the card from where it's taped to the lid of the box and open it.

_For my Sookie._

_Eric_

I can't help the silly smile that breaks across my face when I see it. My heart starts to absolutely soar in my chest. Eric sent me flowers, and not just any flowers; red roses! Could this mean that he's ready? Could it mean that he wants to try for something more again, that he's known all along how I still feel and he's just been waiting for the right time? So many questions are swirling through my head as I hold the card to my heart and feel little tears of joy running down my cheeks.

I rifle around in the cupboards for a minute until I find a pretty vase and then I fill it with water and bring it over to the table. Lifting the flowers out, I gently place them in the vase, arranging them nicely and, when I have them just so, I lean down and all but bury my face in the blooms, inhaling their wonderful scent and feeling so much hope that I know I don't deserve to feel, but can't stop myself from feeling nonetheless. I am his Sookie- I always was- even when I was too blind to understand that, and I want desperately to truly be his Sookie once more.

I lift my face from the flowers and make to pick up the vase to bring it into the bedroom. I want these flowers and this card right next to my pillow, but I suddenly feel a horrible burning sensation in my hands and face and inside my nose and throat. It starts as just an unpleasantness but, after a moment or two more, it's burning to the point of excruciating pain. I look down at my hands and find them covered in blisters that look as though I've put my whole palm down over an open flame. The pain becomes so overwhelming that I want to scream, but I can't as, the burning has gone down into my lungs and I can't make a single sound, even breathing is becoming difficult.

I stagger a few steps, but it's no use. The last coherent thought I have is that hitting my head on the floor will hurt a lot, and then everything goes black.


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Eric's POV

I know almost immediately that I am dreaming. I open my eyes and, instead of being in Shreveport, I'm in the master bedroom of the residence in New Orleans. I feel a slight breeze and turn to see that the French doors have been opened to let in the cool night air, and there is a figure sitting at the table on the balcony. Knowing this to be fantasy, I rise from the bed, not bothering to dress.

Her back is to me, but her form is unmistakable and I feel my un-beating heart clench in pain and joy all at the same time.

"Layla?" I whisper my question, afraid that she will simply disappear if I frighten her in any way. My wife turns to me now, her long hair pulled back in a high pony tail, her form almost visible underneath a loose, soft, purple nightgown. Her smile is like the rays of the sun and her emerald eyes twinkle with amusement.

"I was wondering when you were going to get up." She laughs, getting out of her chair and coming around to face me. For one moment I'm terrified to touch her. What if she just disappears like a mirage? I look into her depthless eyes and see her amusement there at the surface and, underneath, her deep love... and I am lost. Without my body gaining the permission of my mind I pull her to me, slanting my mouth down on hers, my arms forcing her body to mold to mine. She feels so real. I call her name over and over again in between kisses and try to memorize everything about the way she feels, the way she smells, the way she tastes.

She kisses me back with equal passion, but after a few moments, she pushes on my chest, forcing me to pull back just far enough that we can look at each other.

"Are you alright?" She asks, worry suddenly darkening her beautiful features. I try to be strong, to shrug off her question, but I can't.

"No," I answer her truthfully, "I am better than I was, but I am not alright. How can I ever be alright again without you?" I say, my hand coming up to free her hair from the clip that holds it, and running my fingers reverently through the long black strands. I see her smile slightly, not a happy smile but one of indulgence; her hair has always been an obsession of mine, and I take what may be my last opportunity to let my fingers play through it, arranging it's ebony beauty in exactly the perfect way.

"Eric, I don't want you to torture yourself like this. I want you to be happy." She says, her own hands running up and down my chest, causing the most perfect combination of desire and comfort.

"I don't understand." I say to her. How can I be happy without my wife, without the woman who has been my whole world for two decades? I see her brows crease in frustration, but the smile stays on her lips.

"You do, you just don't want to." I shake my head at that. I know what she will say and I don't want to hear it.

"No," I say, "I will not dishonor your memory in that way." She looks down now, staring into the space between us, and I can see that what she is about to say is as hard for her to voice as it will be for me to hear, perhaps harder.

"Nothing you could ever do would dishonor what we have had or how we have loved each other. But memories will not keep you warm, or bring you happiness, or lift you from your sorrow. She can though, and she has, and she would if you would let her." I do not want to let go of her, but I back away now, shocked by what she has said.

"Are you really here with me, or are you just a figment of my subconscious?" She looks up again and there is a helpless expression on her face.

"I don't know. Does it matter? Does it matter if it's really me or if it's just your heart telling you that it's time?" She holds out her arms in a gesture of question.

"Of course it matters. It's only been six months- it's too soon. I still love you!" I say, my voice rising incrementally with each word. Layla's hands drop to her side, but her smile becomes genuine in that moment.

"And I still love you. I will always love you, and part of you will always love me. You do not have to stop loving me to love her too. Don't you see that? I have loved you from the moment we met; how could I not? Sometimes I feel as though I had no choice in the matter. And I have been honored each and every day that we spent together, to hold a piece of your heart in my hands, and I won't give it back... that I get to keep." She smiles and laughs softly, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "But I never had your soul; that you gave away long before we met." She would continue but I do not want to hear anymore. I know, only to well, that the choice I made all those years ago can never be taken back, but it has nothing to do with us.

"Layla, please." I beg her. But she just shakes her head and continues.

"You have always loved her, even when she caused you so much pain. I lived with that knowledge, even if you couldn't admit it. And I'm prepared to let you go now, to love her, with the knowledge that a part of you stays with me always. It's a fair trade." I shake my head at this.

"I never thought of her, not once, in all the time we were together, I swear to you!" Layla steps forwards again, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my chest. I feel my arms circle her, holding her to me without a moment's hesitation.

"That may be, but it doesn't belie what I said. Not thinking of a thing doesn't make it go away. Look deep down. You know you love her still." I squeeze my eyes shut. These are not things I am ready to think of, not things I want to ponder. I just want to hold my wife, and feel her against me, and convince myself that I never have to wake up, that we can be here together, forever, in this half life between death and consciousness.

"It doesn't matter if I love her or not, I chose you, I choose you!" I say, the words coming out around gritted teeth. I hear her laugh again, but this time it's a sad sound.

"And I wouldn't trade a moment of the last two decades. Nothing could have been as good!" I feel something wet on my chest and look down to see that Layla is crying. "But I'm gone now, and no amount of torturing yourself will change that. You cannot have me back, but you can have your bonded and happiness if you are brave to enough to try." ...

Before I can even make a response I'm jolted awake by an excruciating burning sensation in my face and hands.

Opening my eyes, ready for an attack, I realize that I'm in my bedroom in my home in Shreveport, just where I was when I went to my rest this morning. I look down at my hands and see that they are fine. I press one against the other and feel no pain. It takes only a moment to shake off the disorientation of sleep and realize that the pain I feel is not mine.

Without a second thought, I throw on jeans and a long sleeve tee shirt and rush out, grabbing my car keys and cell phone as I head out through the kitchen to the garage. I am lowering myself into the Corvette when my phone rings. Putting it on speaker, I put the key in the ignition and wait impatiently for the garage door to open enough to let me out.

"Eric," Pam says, her voice filled with concern, "is everything alright?" Pam is not usually one to panic, but then I am not usually distressed and I know that she feels both the echo of the pain I feel from Sookie and my worry for her, through our own bond.

"I am not sure. I am fine, but there is something wrong with Sookie. I am heading to Bon Temps now." I hear Pam give a little sigh of relief and, to be honest, I'm a little bit annoyed by it. I know full well that things are not good between Pam and Sookie, and while that might not have bothered me six months ago, it does now. Sookie is back in our lives, whether this pleases Pam or not and, quite frankly, if I'm fine with it then so should she be. Whatever her true feelings though, she is wise enough not to make an issue of it with me right now.

"I am arriving at the bar now, I will make sure all is taken care of." She says, her voice becoming all business once more.

"Good, I will contact you later tonight." With that I disconnect and concentrate on getting to Bon Temps.

The back end of the Corvette fish tails as I take the eternally badly graveled drive way at top speed, sending bits and pieces of tiny rock and dust spraying out behind the car. Once I'm in front of the house, I barely have the engine off or the car in park before I'm at the door. I bang on the door over and over again, calling Sookie's name, but there is no answer and the house is completely dark. I can hear her heartbeat within the house though, but it's frighteningly faint to say the least. I haven't been in this house in sixty-five years and I have no clue as to whether or not Sookie ever formally rescinded my invitation after our last fight, but I pray with all my might to gods I haven't spoken to in centuries, as I open the screen wide and send my foot crashing into the wood of the door with all my might.

The relief I feel when the door splinters and breaks open is almost a physical thing. The door comes off its hinges and I see no magical barrier obstructing my path. I let out a long breath I didn't even know I was holding and rush into the house, following the sound of Sookie's heart to the kitchen.

When I see her lying on the floor, face down, I stop dead in my tracks. I crouch down gently in front of her and gingerly turn her over. I'm shocked when I see her face. Her upper lip, her nose, and the skin around them are covered in blistered burn marks that appear to be eating away at the skin. A look at her hands shows the same thing. Picking her up, I hurry into her bedroom, laying her down and reaching for my cell phone.

Dr. Ludwig answers on the second ring and tells me that she will be out to Sookie's farmhouse shortly. Being King has many advantages, but right now I could not be more grateful for this simple one.

Not five minutes pass before I hear the healer walking through the house. She turns on the light as she comes into the bedroom and gives an unhappy grunt when she sees Sookie's face.

"What happened?" She asks.

"I have no idea." I reply, feeling helpless. I tell her all that I know (which is basically nothing) as she looks over Sookie. The last thing she does is lean down and smell Sookie's hands and face. Then she nods.

"Well this one is very lucky that whatever is happening to her hasn't made her like a full fairy yet, or she'd be dead by now. Since I don't smell citrus of any kind, I'm going to say that it's iron poisoning. It's the only other thing that would cause such a reaction. I'm going to give her something to flush any remaining poison out of her system, but if you want her to make a full recovery you will need to give her your blood. Both by mouth and directly to her face and hands, otherwise they'll be scarred for life." I look down at Sookie, and I do not have to think twice about what I will do.

There is so much left unsaid and undecided between us. There is so much within myself that I do not know if I am ready to face yet, but I cannot allow her to suffer. I never could. Even if I had come across her years ago, when we were still in the midst of hating each other, I would have helped her. There is something within her, something even stronger than our bond- which has always been strong indeed- that calls to me to protect her and to care for her. I do, and always will, it seems.

I nod at the Doctor and she bids me to go first. Ripping into my wrist, I put it to Sookie's mouth, which the doctor holds open until the wound closes. Then I reopen it and bath her face and hands in the blood, watching as the burns start to heal almost immediately. After I am done, I leave the doctor to attend to Sookie and make my way back out into the kitchen, trying to figure out what has happened here.

This time, without the fear for Sookie clouding my other senses, I see the vase of beautiful red roses on the table. I do not stop to think about the pang of jealousy that seeps through me as I look at them, or contemplate why I feel so disturbed that another man must have sent them to her. Instead, I make my way over to them, and figure out almost instantly what has happened. Only a single smell of the flowers tells me there is something off about them; their fragrance is tainted. Picking one out and holding it up to my nose, I detect immediately that they are coated in iron dust.

"Dr. Ludwig?" I call to the healer. I hear her making her way from Sookie's room to the doorway of the kitchen.

"What is it?" She asks gruffly.

"Are you allergic to Iron?" I ask her. I see her eyebrows go sky high, but she shakes her head in the negative.

"Good," I say, handing her a flower, "then I think you might want to have this tested. I believe that it and the others have been dusted in powdered iron." Ludwig takes the flower from me and fishes in her bag for a plastic zip lock. Placing the flower inside it, she nods at me.

"Sookie is resting, but I suspect that she'll get up soon. When she does, give her lots of fluids. I've given her an injection, which should have her body expelling the rest of the iron, but it will dehydrate her, if you take my meaning." I nod in understanding. "Good, I'll have this tested and call you before the night is over." With that the healer turns around and disappears.

I am just about to make my way back to the bedroom to tend to Sookie when I see a card lying on the floor. I pick it up and turn it over. It must have come with the flowers. When I open it I feel anger flood through me at such an alarming rate that I almost lose control of myself and break the table.

_For my Sookie._

_Eric_

Whoever has done this will regret the day they were born, and every day of their miserable life after it.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: I was totally caught off guard by how many people were worried about the "who done it" at the end of the last chapter. You all Rock by the way! Some of the guesses were so creative I actually felt bad I didn't think of them myself, but I swear we're going somewhere plot relevant with all this! I promised I wouldn't keep you in suspense and I won't. We'll find out most of what's going on now. I hope you all enjoy, and as always thank you to everyone who has reviewed, put this story on alert, and in their favorites. It really warms my heart to know that y'all are enjoying._

_I can't start an update without thanking my fabulous, perfect, wonderful, amazing beta/editor Sheknitsnicely, I would be lost without you! _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…. _

Sookie's POV

When I begin to drift back from the blackness, the first thing I feel is a cool hand stroking my forehead. Next comes the realization that I'm not in pain any longer. I sigh in relief and allow my eyes to open slowly. I can feel the sides of my mouth pulling up as I'm greeted by the most welcome sight.

"Eric." I say, my voice a little rough and scratchy. Eric smiles gently down at me, his hand never ceasing to stroke my forehead.

"How are you feeling?" He asks gently. I really think about it before I reply. My face and hands don't hurt anymore, but my throat and lungs still feel sore.

"Better," I reply, "what happened?" Eric's expression turns dark, and I can feel through the bond that he's trying very hard to temper a great deal of anger.

"Someone tried to kill you." He answers, his voice so low that if we were not so close I wouldn't have heard him. I frown at this.

"I take it the flowers weren't from you then?" I ask, although I'm pretty sure I know what the answer to that is at this point. Eric nods, telling me that I'm correct. "Did you give me your blood?" I ask, my dry tongue swirling around in my mouth and detecting the residual metallic taste there. Eric nods again.

"Yes, Dr. Ludwig was here and gave you something to help you as well, but she said that your face and hands would be scarred, and your lungs permanently damaged if I did not. Whoever sent you the flowers coated them in powdered iron and, when you breathed them in, it not only got on your face and hands, but into your nose, throat, and down into your lungs as well." I frown at that. Who on earth would want to kill me? I've been moving from place to place for so long, I haven't been in any one spot long enough to even make a friend, much less an enemy. Eric seems to be thinking the same thing, because the next words out of his mouth mirror my thoughts.

"Any ideas who would want to kill you?" At first I'm ready to tell him that I'm clueless, but then something starts tapping at the back of my brain, something awful.

"Steve Newlin Jr." I say slowly, a heavy sinking feeling starting in my stomach. Eric raises an eyebrow at me, waiting for an explanation. I sigh as best I can with my still hurting throat and Eric immediately looks remorseful and hands me a glass of water. After a few swallows I sit up on the pillows.

"The day that I went to the Fellowship center in New Orleans to search for Layla they were having a membership drive or something. It was just awful. The place was crawling with people and every one of them was just screaming hate from their brains. Anyway, I went into the center hoping to find a quiet place to listen under the pretense that I needed to use the bathroom, but got interrupted by these two guys and, long story short, I actually had to go to the bathroom when they found me and decided to wait outside the door for me. When I came out they were talking to another man. I shook his hand and I found out that he was Steve Newlin's son." Eric cocks his eyebrow at that.

"I thought both Mr. and Mrs. Newlin were a little old to have a child, even all those years ago?" He questions. I just frown at him.

"Mrs. Newlin yes, but he's not that Mrs. Newlin's son, he's the son from wife number two, the trophy version. In any case, he recognized me." Eric contemplates this for a moment, clearly doing the math and trying to figure out how that's possible. I shake my head. "I never met him personally, but Eric, his father told him all about me, showed him pictures of me apparently. He told him that I was the whore of the devil and personally sent to Earth to destroy the Fellowship. I guess he was pretty sore after Dallas and Jackson." I frown. It's the only thing I can think of, and it has me scared. What was going on inside that man's head was blacker than anything I have ever seen before and, if he wants me dead...well, I already saw what he did to one person he wanted dead. That thought makes me shudder and, just when I feel tears start to form in my eyes, Eric's strong arms come around me, pulling me quietly into his lap and his embrace, just as if I was a small child.

He holds me and strokes my hair and back as I lay my cheek on his shoulder. I can feel him sending me comfort and calm through our bond and, this time, I don't hesitate to take it, knowing what a fool I was all those years ago to reject his care and support.

"I will get to the bottom of this, but in the meantime I do not think it safe for you to remain here alone. I want you to come back to Shreveport with me." He says, his voice filled with determination. I sigh heavily, mentally gearing up for a fight. It won't be the one we had before all those years ago though. I'm not worried about being or looking like a kept woman. Over the years I've come to the conclusion that appearances and the opinions of others are not worth risking ones safety for. No this time it's not about looking like an independent woman to the outside world at all.

This time, it's about protecting my heart as well as my life. I try very hard to think about my promise to see how things went back here without Eric in my life every night. To see if, maybe, it would help me keep my feelings under control. I don't think that I can be around him every night anymore without him finding out how I feel, and I can't bear the thought of him rejecting me. I take one more deep breath and prepare to answer him, hoping like hell that he will just accept my decision and spare me from having to reveal the truth.

"Eric, I don't think that's a good idea." I say evenly. I feel the moment his anger turns towards me and it's all I can do not to start crying again.

"You cannot be serious? You almost died today and you are telling me you want to remain here? Sookie, that is not wise and you know it." The edge in his voice is unmistakable.

"Perhaps not, but it's my decision. I want to stay here." I say, softly but firmly. Eric tosses me, none too gently, off of his lap and onto the mattress, standing abruptly and starting to pace around my bedroom.

"Why?" He asks, not even looking at me. I take a deep calming breath and try to order my feelings without betraying too much to him through our bond.

"Does it matter? I'm choosing to stay here." I answer him, my voice steady, hopefully neutral. It doesn't seem to help Eric calm down though. Instead, his voice is rising in volume with each statement.

"I can feel you holding something back Sookie. What is your objection this time? Surely you do not still care about looking like a kept woman? Surely you have grown beyond such childishness? What is the problem? Tell me! I can feel through our bond that you are hiding something. Is it the bond? Is that what this is about? Are you feeling too constricted once more? Are you angry at me for giving you my blood without your permission? I did it to help you! God's, will you never stop blaming me? Will you forever curse this bond and me for everything? Will you never accept it?" Eric's pacing is getting faster as his frustration grows, and I can tell that he's gearing up for an explosion. I can't blame him. I got to rant and rave at him all those years ago while he took it in virtual silence. I suppose he's been holding in this anger towards me for a good sixty-five years. I only hope, when it's done, that he won't storm out and never speak to me again.

"No Eric, it's not that." I say, again trying to keep calm. Eric stops pacing at that and suddenly he's right in front of me, leaning down, our faces close enough that I can see the small circles of gold that rim the deep sapphire of his eyes as they lock with mine. I can feel him probing my brain through the bond, trying to figure out why I'm fighting him and if I'm telling the truth that it has nothing to do with our connection. I see frustration war with anger and, after a moment, frustration seems to win out.

"Then WHY?" He yells at me. "Do you suppose I wish to sit by and watch in helpless silence as another woman I..." Eric stops cold, caution painting his face. "…I will not watch you be taken and killed as well." He finishes. I can feel the tears slipping down my face and I decide suddenly that it's time to put my cards on the table. I won't have him believing that I don't want his help or his protection, or that I'm rejecting the friendship and trust that we've built back up in the last six months. I can't risk him storming out of here in anger and refusing to see me again. I need him… I need him so much. I would rather risk humiliation than lose him again. His face is still just inches from mine and so, gently, I put my hand to his cheek and let my lips brush against his. He freezes, shocked.

"I don't care what other people think of me," I start to explain softly, pulling back just enough so that we're eye to eye again, "and I don't feel constricted, controlled, or coerced by our bond. I don't want to stay here alone and wait for Steve Jr. and his hateful followers to come for me either. But I don't know how to be around you anymore and not show you how much I love you, Eric. And I can't bear to hear you tell me you don't love me anymore, and probably never will again." I sob through the last little bit. "I know you loved her, and I know it's only been a little while. I loved Sam, so I can't blame you for loving someone else too. But, even when I tried so hard not to think of you, even when I told myself I'd made my bed and I had to lie in it, I still loved you. And now that I have you back in my life, I've tried desperately to tell myself that I should take what I can get and not ask for more, but it's so hard Eric. It's so hard to feel what I feel for you and keep it locked inside. All I want, all I ever want when I'm with you, is to feel you hold me and kiss me and tell me that you really forgive me…that you love me. All I want is to be yours again."

For one endless moment we just stay frozen like that, Eric leaning down, his face nearly touching mine and me staring back at him, my hand on his cheek. We don't move and he doesn't say anything. I feel the tears start to flow harder and I'm sure that, at any moment, he will open his mouth and destroy me. He will tell me that he hasn't thought of me a single day in the last sixty-five years and that he can never love me again. That I can never live up to the woman he's lost and that he wishes, like Pam, that I was the one who was dead and that she was the one here with him now. Eric has never been an unnecessarily cruel person, but after everything I did, after everything Pam told me he did for me even after I broke his heart, it would be justified and it would probably make him feel really good too. So we just stay there, frozen, and I try to steel myself for the moment when he will choose to crush me under his boot.

I gasp in surprise when Eric falls to his knees, kneeling in front of me and putting both his hands on the sides of my face, holding our foreheads together. His gaze is so intense and his dark blue eyes hold a million emotions at once, emotions that I can feel zipping through our bond, but they come and go too fast for me to single out and identify. Suddenly though, one emerges stronger than all the rest; love. It's so intense that it almost overwhelms me, but I hold myself completely still, rigid, letting it wash over me and not pushing it away. And then he speaks.

"You are my bonded; each of us holds a part of the other's soul. You will be always be mine, just as I will always be yours. I have loved another and I will carry the memory of her love with me always, but I have also always loved you, and I can change neither of those things." Sixty-five years ago I would not have understood.

I would have hated that a part of him, no matter how small, belonged to someone else and I would have accused him of being untrue or unfaithful or simply unable to be true or faithful. But this me understood completely what he was saying. For better or for worse I had loved another too, and I would have stayed with him, if he'd let me, to the end. His death didn't end the feelings I had for him. What we had been through together, the experiences we shared, had shaped who I had become. To deny that would be to deny a part of myself. But having loved Sam then didn't mean that I couldn't love Eric now. And it was the same for him.

Our love, such as it was all those decades ago, was something maybe neither of us was really ready for. Eric might have been centuries older than me, but in love we were both novices. Neither of us had ever felt something so overwhelming and all consuming. Maybe we both needed more experience of love in order to really accept what was between us, to know how to treat each other and how to love and accept each other. I hoped with all my heart that we were both ready to try.

"Give me another chance," I whisper to him, my eyes squeezing shut, still unsure that my hope won't be crushed. "I can love you, I can love you the way you deserve to be loved… let me show you." Eric makes a soft shushing sound and I feel his thumbs caress my cheeks, gently sweeping away tears that I didn't even know were still falling, as his lips brush my forehead again.

"I don't need you to love me any other way then the way you already do, just give me time." He says, and I hear the sob leave my mouth and the smile form there even, as the tears I cry turn from pain to joy. I nod my head over and over. Eric brushes his lips over my forehead again and then, just as he's pulling away, he seems to think better of it and brings them down to touch my own.

The kiss is light and soft and filled with the promise that there will be so much more. It ends almost as soon as it begins, but it's everything I could have ever hoped for. I know we still have a long road to travel before we come to that place that neither of us has ever seen together- happiness- but I know now that we'll get there eventually.

"Please Sookie, come with me, and stay. With me is where you belong." My heart is beating so fast right now that I feel as though I will pass out. Not being able to speak I just mutely nod my head. Eric helps me pack a few things from the house and, in fifteen minutes, I'm ready to leave. When I lock what's left of the front door to my old farmhouse, I know that I'm doing it for the last time.

As we drive to Shreveport, Eric pulls out his cell phone, putting it on speaker so that I can hear both halves of the conversation.

"Eric, is everything all right?" Pam asks as soon as she picks up the phone.

"Everything is fine now, but Sookie and I are heading to the club. We need to speak, all three of us." He says matter-of-factly.

"I'll be waiting for you." Pam says, and then they disconnect.

The ride to Fangtasia is silent but not unpleasant. In fact, with Eric's hand holding mine it's the most pleasant car ride I think I've ever had. I watch him the entire time as he drives and I let myself settle into the feelings going back and forth between us through our bond. He is mine. He said so. I know that we can't have everything back the way it was overnight, but it's more than I ever hoped for and I vow this time that, no matter what happens, I will not run and I will not hide. I will be a woman deserving of his love.


	14. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Eric's POV

Sookie stares at me the whole drive to Fangtasia, and I can feel her love for me radiating loud and clear through our connection. I had not intended to tell her tonight that I still loved her, even though I knew it was true. If I was still unsure when I awoke from my dream, then I most certainly knew it when I saw her lying on her kitchen floor nearly dead. But when she told me so quietly, so brokenly, that she could not go with me because she feared for her heart, I knew the time for keeping quiet had passed. I believed with all my heart that my dream tonight, whether it was Layla really coming to me or not, was a sign.

All those months in Norway, as we grew closer, I would adamantly step back every time my mind would wander further than enjoying Sookie's company and friendship. I felt as though I were being unfaithful. But what I told Sookie tonight was true, a part of me will always love Layla, as I know a part of her will always love the shifter. But both of those loves are the past and both of those people would not want us to destroy ourselves wishing for what we can no longer have. She and I are here now, and I can no longer deny that what was between us so long ago never ended, it was simply interrupted. The past is done, Sookie is my future.

So, when we pull into Fangtasia, I make a decision. I park the car in front of the club, and walk around to help Sookie out. As soon as she is out of the car, I take her hand in mine and walk through the front door, past the long line of Fangbangers still waiting to get in and past all the Vampires and humans in the club. Sookie turns to me, eyebrow raised, but I do not answer her unspoken question. Instead, I look straight out at the crowded bar and send her my pride. After only a moment she seems to understand and turns to face the room as well, head held high.

As we head to my office, everyone stops what they're doing to stare at us. My message is plain to all. Sookie is mine and will be afforded the respect and honor that goes with that position. I want to make it perfectly clear to all involved what position it is that Sookie holds. I could easily have made a show of hiring her as my telepath or as anything else I wanted, but I will not be advertising or lending out her services in any regard. She is here because of her personal connection to me and I want everyone in my retinue, and those that work for me, to understand that with crystal clarity.

When I open my office door Pam is already waiting on my couch. She stands when we enter and I can see the shock on her face. She isn't looking at either of us directly, but rather at our hands which are still intertwined, and I watch as her expression goes from shocked to sour, as though she has just tasted a bad bottle of True Blood.

"Pam, join us." I say as I sit behind my desk. Sookie takes one of my guest chairs but Pam prefers to remain standing, it seems. "Sookie was poisoned earlier today. Someone sent her flowers coated in powdered iron. She believes that the Fellowship of the Sun knows who she is and that they are behind the attack." I then gesture to Sookie and she fills Pam in on what happened on the day she went to the Fellowship center in New Orleans. Pam listens calmly throughout the whole story until we get to the part about the flowers. Then I see her face take on a puzzled expression.

"That doesn't make sense," she starts, "why would Newlin send her iron coated flowers? Even if he knows that you are a telepath and Supernatural sympathizer and he's somehow managed to figure out that you're actually who you are, how does he know you are a Fairy?" Sookie and I both look from Pam to each other at that moment. Pam is completely right. Sookie herself did not even know that she was part Fae during either of her encounters with Newlin's father, and she did nothing that would have anyone suspecting she was a fairy when she visited the center six months ago.

"Could they be watching me?" She asks. I shake my head at that, rejecting the idea. We have been in Norway since Layla's death. After the funeral, all my staff left and Sookie and I were almost completely alone there, except for the Housekeeper. My Housekeeper there has been in my employ for over thirty years and I trust her as much as I will ever trust a human. The only times that Sookie used her powers were in the woods surrounding my house and in the gym when we trained.

"Not in Norway." I answer. I can feel through our bond that Sookie is trying to work through the problem at hand and, after a moment, she looks up at both of us.

"How was Layla taken?" She asks, her voice small. I feel my brow furrow at this, but before I can answer Pam is already doing the honors.

"She was taken during the day in New Orleans. She was there to attend a rally in protest of the 'repeal of marriage act' that's coming before Congress. She was one of the organizers. She was taken just after she met with the other organizers. Her Were guards were killed and left for dead in an alley. Eric was to have met her there that night. We didn't know what had happened until well after we had risen." She says, her voice getting shaky at the end.

"So someone knew that she was going to be there and that you weren't with her. It sounds like you guys might have a spy." Pam and I are wearing matching expressions of anger and frustration. It's a discussion we've had time and time again since the day Layla disappeared. We still have no idea who it could be.

"It seems very likely that this is the case," I say, "but we have been unable to determine who the spy is." Sookie's face remains expressionless for all of a second and then she nods. I can feel determination coming off of her in waves.

"Then I'm going to go grab a drink, sit down outside, and do a little listening." She says. With that she gets up and leaves the office without a second glance.

When she is gone, Pam finally sits in one of the guest chairs and just stares at me for a few minutes. I see her open and close her mouth several times before she decides how she wants to proceed.

"Your statement was received loud and clear." She says, frowning at me. I only nod and keep my face neutral. Other makers do not tolerate their children voicing or even **having** opinions on what they do, but Pam and I have always been different. I love and value her for many reasons, not the least for her keen mind. In the years since her making, she has become a magnificent Vampire and a child any maker would be proud of.

"You don't approve." It's a statement and not a question. The grimace on Pam's face only becomes wider. "You blame her." Again, it's not a question.

"She has brought you so much pain. Are you really willing to allow her close enough to hurt you again?" I know that Pam is asking me this because she cares deeply for me and that is why, when I respond, it is with equal care and not anger. I do not need, nor have I ever felt the need, to remind Pam who is master.

"And I have brought her much pain as well. I am not blameless in the things that happened between us either. I allowed us to be bonded without ever explaining things to her. I tricked her into handing me the knife instead of telling her my plan. And I let her go when she was suffering. No matter what pain we have caused each other, I am her bonded and it was my duty to help her when she was so broken, yet I did not. I allowed myself to be hurt by her words when I should have ignored them. It goes both ways Pam. She is willing to let me that close again too." Pam looks down at her hands for a long moment, seeming to really try to sort through what I've told her. When she looks up at me her eyes show both gentleness and grief.

"And Layla?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper. Again, I am reminded of the differences between Pam and I and other makers and their children. I am not justifying my actions to her or asking her permission, but I want for her to understand my reasons all the same.

"Do you suppose she would want me to wander the earth, broken for all eternity?" Pam shakes her head, but I can see her eyes becoming pink.

"No, I know she wouldn't want that." She answers, but before she can say anything more I cut her off.

"If I am to be with anyone then should I not be with my bonded?" Pam looks at me now and I can see the anger flash just behind her eyes for one moment, before it defuses, and the truth dawns on her.

"You still love her." This time it's Pam who doesn't bother to phrase it as a question. I nod my head.

"I do." Pam gets up and walks around my desk. I turn my chair so that I'm facing her and she comes to stand directly in front of me. I look up at her and she down at me, her hands coming to rest on my shoulders.

"If this is really, really what you want, then I will try to accept it." She says. Through our bond I feel her send me all of her affection but also her worry. She still is not convinced that Sookie will not hurt me again.

"Thank you." I say softly. Pam smiles down at me. Her smile has always been so beautiful, something that practically no one but me knows. I rise from my chair and Pam turns, walking out the door with me. We find Sookie sitting in a booth in the corner. When she sees us, she smiles slightly and we make our way over to her.

Without a word she shifts over and I take the seat next to her, Pam taking the one across from us. Almost immediately one of the waitresses comes to the table, bringing two bottles of True Blood for Pam and I and another Gin and Tonic for Sookie.

The waitress…Lindsey I think, sets down our drinks and, just as she is about to walk away, Sookie bolts upright, grabbing her wrist. Lindsey looks startled and tries to pull back. I have to say that I'm somewhat startled myself, but I can feel a great deal of agitation coming from Sookie and I know that she must have found something. Sookie quickly covers her strange action by gushing about the waitresses ring. It's just a cheap thing, but Sookie compliments it as though it were made of precious stones. After another long minute, Sookie releases Lindsey and the waitress scurries away, no doubt convinced that Sookie is insane.

"What did you hear?" I ask softly. Sookie looks over at me and she is almost as pale as I am.

"Not here." She says softly. I look at Pam for a moment and see her nod.

"I'm going to take Sookie home, keep an eye on things here. Come by after you close." I instruct. With that, I take Sookie's hand and lead her out of the club and back to the car. When we're out of the parking lot and onto the road I feel Sookie's emotions crash. I look over and see that tears are once more streaming down her face.

"This world is so god damn fucked up!" She says roughly, her voice filled with bitterness. I take her hand and squeeze it tightly.

"Tell me." I say softly. Sookie looks out the window as though she doesn't want to watch my reaction when she tells me what she heard.

"That waitress, she's in love with you. No, love isn't the right word. She's obsessed with you." I feel my eyebrows going sky high.

"Explain?" I ask. I hear Sookie take a sobbing breath.

"She propositioned you once, when she started working here right?" She asks.

"Yes." Sookie just nods her head.

"She was angry when you turned her down, very angry. She knew you were married but she didn't think that Vampires actually did things like monogamy. When you turned her down she started to obsess over you and she convinced herself that you would have been bedding her if only Layla were gone." When Sookie says this I slam on the breaks, skidding the car over to the side of the road.

"What!" I say, my voice louder than I meant it to be. The anger in me is overwhelming, but it isn't directed at Sookie.

"It ended up being so much bigger than it started Eric. It started with a jilted waitress." Sookie looks completely shell shocked but then, after a long calming breath, she tells me everything. "Lindsey was angry and, for God knows what reason, she confided in her sister-in-law who's a Fellowship member. Her sister-in-law confided in her pastor and her pastor realized who you and Layla were and saw an opportunity. They got Lindsey to spy for them. Lindsey's sister convinced her that she was being punished for working among Satan's children. They convinced her that God would cure her of her obsession with you if she helped them. It wasn't hard, all she had to do was keep her ears open when she was at work and she found out that Layla was leaving for New Orleans before you."

I just stare out the front window for a long time. Sookie doesn't say anything. She just allows this news to wash over me. A waitress. All this time we were looking for one of the Vampires in my retinue or one of the other supernaturals that we worked with, and it was a waitress. Without thinking about it, I'm out of the car and over the guard rail. I let out a deafening roar as I pick up one of the trees on the side of the road, ripping it from its root and hurling it deeper into the woods. The need to destroy, to hurt something, is overwhelming, and I don't stop until most of the trees on the side of the road are in shreds.

I promised Idris that I would seek further vengeance. Now I have a place to start. The worthless blood bag of a waitress will die, and so will her family and every other member of the Fellowship I can get my hands on. They've murdered Layla and now they want Sookie as well. We still don't know how they have figured out what she is but I am convinced, now more than ever, that they're behind the whole thing. I will not let them have her too.

I just stand there in the now cleared side of the road for another moment before I feel a hand on my back. I turn around and see Sookie standing behind me, the tracks of her dried tears still evident on her face. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't try to calm me or pacify my anger and sorrow with useless words, she just holds her hand out to me and, after I take it, we walk back to the car and finish the drive home in silence, her small hand sitting in mine the entire time.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Hello All. I decided to put this chapter out earlier, by itself, since it's another transitional chapter and I felt the ones after it worked better together. I'm so touched by all the reviews for this story and how seriously people are taking it. I wanted to take a moment to thank everybody and also to give you an idea of where we're going from here. There was a lot of heartfelt concern that Eric is settling for Sookie and not really still in love with her and I wanted to hopefully dispel that worry. Eric was in love with his wife, but she is not the love of his life. At its heart the relationship that Layla and Eric shared was love, but it was also a means for him to move past his grief over losing Sookie. Getting over the loss of his wife is obviously a part of this story but so is correcting the behaviors on both his and Sookie's parts that led to the breakdown of their relationship the first time. As we'll see when the story progresses, if Eric and Sookie really choose each other, they are going to end up spending __**far more**__ than twenty years together, and so they still need to work a whole bunch of things out!_

_Right now they have their friendship back and an admittance that there is still love between them, but not more. The conversation they had in the last chapters is not an end to what needs to be fixed between them. As many of you pointed out Eric also is at fault for what happened between them and no real, lasting relationship can happen until they discuss the things that went wrong and until Eric also asks for and receives forgiveness for his faults. This is a much longer story than any of the others I've written and it doesn't end with a simple kiss, and will continue even after their physical relationship recommences (which isn't happening yet). There is still a long road ahead. I would ask that you give the story a chance to play out and give both of them, but especially Eric a chance to show that his love for Sookie is real and deep._

_To that end, this next chapter is the first of many steps to their new relationship. There will be more. I hope you enjoy!_

_Thank you again to my beta Sheknitsnicely- your support and love for this story keep me on the right path even when I'm feeling hopeless about it! :)_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…._

Sookie's POV

When we get to Eric's house, he parks in the garage and we walk through into the kitchen. The house is quite small but very nice. I'm a little confused when I see it though because, although it's the epitome of clean lines and little clutter, that I always pictured Eric liking, it doesn't seem to be in line with the beautiful old residence in New Orleans. Eric seems to sense my question before I even ask it.

"This is the house I lived in before I met Layla. I had Pam sell the big house that we shared. I want a fresh start," he says looking down at me gently," I think you and I should pick something we can make our own." My heart literally melts when I hear that, and I know that I'm probably smiling like a loon. Eric smiles back, leaning down and brushing his lips against my forehead.

"Are you tired?" He asks me, his eyes gentle and caring. I nod my head. Even with Eric's blood, this day has been completely exhausting. "Come." He says, his hand going to the small of my back and gently leading me down the hall. When we come to the double doors at the end, Eric opens them and ushers me inside. The bedroom is beautiful, done in shades of forest green and dark cherry wood. Eric takes my bag and puts it in the closet and motions for me to join him. When we're both in the closet, which could honestly hold at least two more full grown people, Eric walks to the back wall and opens a hidden panel. Behind the panel is an electronic key pad. "My actual bedroom is underneath the house. This is the entrance." Eric shows me the code to get downstairs and adds my fingerprint to the access list. I look up at him and I realize that he's leaving the choice up to me. I can go downstairs with him or I can stay up here. I love him all the more for the choice, but I'm determined that this time he and I will do things the right way.

Even though we've admitted our feelings I want to make sure that, this time, we don't rush into the physical before we have the emotional part right. I put my bag in the corner of the closet and go up on my tip toes, giving Eric a soft kiss on the mouth.

"For now I think I'll sleep up here." I say, looking him in the eye, making sure that he understands. Eric smiles down at me and I know that he's accepting of my decision. He brushes his lips against mine one last time and then bids me good night. I hurry through my evening routine and, when I finally lay down on the large four poster bed, with its soft green and cream stripped down comforter, I feel again the peace and comfort that I only feel when I'm near my bonded. I feel 'at home' once more and I drift off into sleep easily.

I sleep late into the afternoon the next day. When I wake there's barely enough time to grab a shower and make a cup of coffee before the sun goes down. Sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen island, I feel the moment Eric awakes; it's as if the missing piece of me is suddenly filled in and I can't wait to see him.

Ten minutes later he joins me in the kitchen, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead and sitting on the stool next to me.

"Did you sleep well?" He asks me. I smile and nod my head.

"Very well, thank you." He nods in return.

"Good, I want you to be comfortable here." I lean forward and kiss his cheek.

"Wherever you are is where I want to be." I say softly. His eyes seem to light up at that.

"It is the same for me. Bondeds should not be apart." I feel my mouth form into a frown. Eric says it so matter-of-factly, but I still don't understand completely.

"We never really talked about all of this bonding stuff, all those years ago. I'm still in the dark. I need you to tell me now." I say, my voice soft. Eric's hand reaches out and brushes my cheek.

"You are very right, it was an unforgivable oversight on my part not to explain things after Rhodes. I'm sorry for that." I shake my head.

"I wasn't giving you a lot of opportunities to explain, I know that. But if we're going to really start over again, then I think we need to talk about it now."

"What do you want to know?" He asks. I take his hand in both of mine.

"Everything," I say laughing, "start from the beginning." Eric chuckles as well and, for the next hour, he does tell me everything. Our third exchange wasn't merely blood. The whole, 'half of my soul' thing is no euphemism. We now actually possess a piece of each other's souls. That was how I was able to pop to him, sight unseen, and take him with me even though I've never had any real luck teleporting anything else. We are essentially two halves of a single whole now and, even If we never exchange blood again, it will not change things. Because we are one being now, we will neither of us ever feel whole without the other. It's the reason that I've felt so incomplete all these years and the reason why I feel so good when I'm with him. He isn't manipulating my feelings. Rather, it's my body and soul recognizing the presence of, essentially, the rest of me.

"Eric, this is such a big thing. Why would you agree to this on the spur of a moment in a hallway? I know that you wanted your blood in me in Dallas and I know that you saved me in Jackson to help you get Bill back, but exchanging blood with me the third time, why would you bind yourself like that to someone you barely knew when this was the consequence?" Eric looks at me and his expression turns heated, filled with conviction and passion. I know that he's about to tell me something very profound.

"I knew you more than I had ever known anyone Sookie. It's true that, at the time, I didn't remember our nights together when I was cursed, but I didn't need to. I, the real me, had been in love with you for so long by that time, that it wasn't a hasty decision made at the spur of the moment; I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. Despite everything that happened afterward, to this day, I cannot convince myself that I would have done anything differently that night. I wished, more than anything, that it could have been under different circumstances and that you could have known exactly what it was you were getting yourself into, but for me… I was in love with you, I wanted you to be mine; if it meant saving you from Andre as well, I couldn't say no." Eric pauses for a moment to let it all sink in, and then he chuckles lightly. "And don't kid yourself that I gave you my blood in Jackson to save Bill. I needed his program, not him. Bill could have rotted in hell for all I cared. It would have been better for me if Bill had, you would have come to me that much sooner. I gave you my blood in Jackson for the same reason, because I loved **you** and I wanted to save **you**!" I know that my mouth must be on the floor, but the shock I feel as Eric tells me this is acute. It never crossed my mind all those years ago that, without his memories of our time together, he had wanted me as anything more than a conquest. Yet all that time he had been in love with me.

"If this is true then how were either of us able to be with other people?" I ask. Eric looks away for a moment and I know that he's trying to order his thoughts. When he looks at me again, it's with a great deal of love, but also a great deal of sorrow.

"We are halves of one whole, that is true, but it doesn't mean that we no longer have free will. You and I could spend eternity apart and we would be able to live. We might even be able to find some happiness, as we both have, but we would never be complete. The choices we make and the love that we have for each other, then and now, are not a manipulation of this bond. They are our own. That is how other Vampires can bond with a human and use it against the human. They are, in truth, hurting a part of themselves, but it does not mean that they are unable to."

I finally feel like I understand. I feel briefly bitter that I didn't know this before, but the feeling is fleeting. Even if I had known, I still wouldn't have been able to get over the idea that I was going to die and that I didn't want to stay with Eric and grow old while he didn't. This thing that's happening to me, it's the final piece of the puzzle. Eric and I are bonded and we are a part of each other, but now it seems I don't have to worry that I will grow old and die in just a few decades. We really can be together, in a way that can make both of us happy.

"Thank you for really telling me." He smiles softly, his hand managing to squeeze both of mine from its position between them.

"I am truly sorry it did not happen sooner." He replies. I step off the bar stool and come to stand between Eric's legs. His arms go around me and he pulls me up against him. We look at each other for one long, endless moment, our bond wide open and our love for each other pinging back and forth between us. "I love you, Sookie." He whispers, and then his lips come down on mine in the first real kiss we've shared in so long. I wrap my arms around his neck and press myself to him. The feeling of his lips on mine, his tongue gently asking entrance to my mouth, makes me whimper. When my lips part he's there and the taste of him, so familiar and so wonderful, is unbelievable. No one has ever kissed me the way Eric does and, if I have any say in it, no one else will **ever** kiss me again. When we part, I gently brush his lips one last time and then look deep into his eyes.

"I love you too!" I say, my voice filled with emotion. "So, what happens now?" I ask him. Eric's face darkens perceptibly at my question, and I can feel through the bond that darker emotions are taking him over.

"The Fellowship must be destroyed." He says, his voice filled with determination. "I promised Idris that I would seek further vengeance. I must keep my promise, but I must also do this for us. You and I will never be left in peace until they are gone." I feel the fear creep up inside of me at that. I knew, the minute I walked back into Eric's office six months ago, that any connection to him would mean that my years of quiet and solitude were over. The package that comes with Eric is only greater now that he's a King and not just a Sherriff. But I also know that, where before I couldn't handle it, now I will deal with whatever comes along with him. We belong together not apart.

…..

The next two months passed almost in a blur. Eric made his preparations for war, contacting his allies, both Vampires and others. There were meetings almost every night as plans were made. But part of me was entirely uneasy. To wage a war on the Fellowship could backfire spectacularly even if we technically won, which I had no doubt we would. Those that sympathized with them and vilified the supernatural world would see the Fellowship as martyrs. It might only turn more humans, humans who were undecided in their feelings about the supernatural world, against us. It was a can of worms, and yet I had no idea what else we could do. It became clear when Eric talked to Stan Davis, Russell Edgington, and other supernatural leaders, that he wasn't the only one whose retinue had been targeted. There had been others who had gone missing as well. If these things were ignored and the Fellowship left to run amok, none of us would be safe.

When I asked Eric if we shouldn't find another way, he angrily pointed out that Layla had been trying to find 'another' solution for over twenty years and that all it led to was her death. He wouldn't sit back anymore letting others plan protests and appeal to human authorities and wait for the Fellowship to come for me. I couldn't argue with that, but it still didn't make me feel any better about what was going to happen.

Even though we were planning a war, Eric and I found an amazing amount of time to spend together. In private, things were very much as they were in Norway. We talked, we enjoyed each other's company, we trained (now more than ever, Eric wanted to make sure that my powers were in tip top shape and ready to be pulled out at a moment's notice) and we grew ever closer, both of us attempting to start this second chance the right way.

"Are you ready to go home?" Eric asked me after yet another round of meetings. I nodded my head and picked myself up from the couch were I had collapsed when Eric walked his guests out. Taking my hand, Eric led me out of the back of the club. We were almost to the car when it happened.

Twenty humans, Fellowship members from their brains, came out of the darkness, stakes and silver in hand. The fighting began without a single word being uttered. We had been fighting and holding our own when I saw it happen. Eric had dropped two of the humans he was fighting and gone on to another when one snuck between us, stake in hand. I knew that I couldn't drop my own attacker fast enough to get to him. I could only watch as the man reared his arm back ready to sink the stake into Eric's back. I felt the panic and the fear take hold of me as they never had before. I could not lose him, I could not let him be killed! I would not let them take my love from me when I had only just got him back!

"NOOOOOO, STOP!" I screamed with all my might. Suddenly, without my even really trying, I felt my magic well up inside of me, almost as it did that day in New Orleans when I had destroyed my hotel room accidentally. Again, there was a burst of light that was momentarily blinding, but this time when I opened my eyes the parking lot was not rubble. Instead, our attackers were standing completely frozen.

The burst of energy and the shock of what had just happened sent me crashing to my knees on the pavement. When I looked around I saw that our attackers weren't the only ones frozen. Pam must have felt Eric's blood lust because she and several other Vampires were standing just outside of the entrance, immobilized in mid run.

"Sookie, what did you do?" I look up to find the only other person not frozen is Eric. Apparently my magic continues to affect him differently than it does anyone else. Looking up at him, exhausted and frightened by my own self, I just shake my head.

"I don't know. It's never happened before." I say quietly, my eyes falling back to the cement below me. Eric walks over to me, zig-zagging between our immobile attackers, and bends down, gently taking my wrist.

"Your watch is still ticking." He says matter-of-factly. I don't even bother to answer that, although I suppose I'm happy that it's just people I've frozen and not time itself. When I don't give him a response, Eric gets up and walks around, looking at each and every one of the men. Making some sort of decision, Eric goes to his car, pulls out a sword from the trunk and proceeds to kill all but three of them. When the others are dead he turns to me.

"You need to unfreeze them." He says gently. I look up at him and feel the tears start to form on my face.

"How? I don't have any idea what I did!" I say, sobbing. Eric looks around for a moment and then turns back to me.

"You yelled stop. Why?"

"One of them was going to stake you." I answer.

"So you wanted to prevent him from killing me. You willed them to stop, literally. Will them to start again." He says as if it's all so simple. I look at the three men still standing and the vampires coming out the door and I will, with all my heart, for everything to start again, for this new power to just go away so I can pretend that it never happened. For a moment, nothing happens and I feel so helpless and so hopeless that it only makes me wish harder, and then suddenly I feel my magic release again, and everyone comes unfrozen.

The three men who are still alive stop suddenly, realizing that everything has changed from where it was a moment before. The Vampires coming out of the club stop short as well, their weapons still threateningly raised.

"Pam, clean this up and then escort these three downstairs. I will talk with them tomorrow night. Don't do anything too damaging." Pam nods her head, her bewilderment plainly written on her face. When the others are gone, Eric comes up to me. Without saying a word he picks me up off of the ground and carries me to the car, placing me gently in the seat and securing my buckle. Then he rushes around the car, folding himself in as well and getting us out of the parking lot as fast as his, considerably fast, car will go.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: Not much to say, except thanks, as always, to everyone who's reviewed, put the story on alert, and in their favorites. Well okay… here's some more._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Eric's POV

Sookie is completely silent on the car ride home. But more terrifying than her lack of words is her complete lack of emotion. It's as though a switch has been flipped and she's simply turned them off. When I try to take her hand in mine she simply pulls it away, hiding it in her lap and staring out the window.

I do not know what to do, so I concentrate on driving and try to push down the fear that is rising within me. When we were in Norway, Sookie told me a little bit about her experiences with her powers. She was trying to cheer me, and so she only told me things that, in retrospect, she could find amusing, but I have no doubt in my mind that there were many more stories she withheld, stories about how much they scared her, and how much she disliked each and every one of them as they blossomed within her.

Sookie may have given up her dreams of a white picket fence and children, but the desire to be simply a normal human is deeply ingrained within her. She lived among humans for too long, was indoctrinated in their values and belief systems and taught that she was less because she did not meet their desperate need to conform, to be, each one of them, no better than the one next to them. It does not matter how much she matures or how much she tells herself that this is who she is, part of her may never come to completely accept it. And this new power manifesting itself out of thin air is just one more reminder of what she is and, by consequence, what she will never be.

Being a Vampire, I understand this perhaps better than most. It takes many, many years, sometimes lifetimes, to leave behind that which you were and that which you hoped for and accept what you have become. Some never do, and those that don't invariably fall prey to their sorrow and are killed off, or take the more direct route and meet the sun at the first available opportunity. To accept that you will live on as everything around you changes, dies and is reborn, to accept that you will forever walk this earth but never truly be a part of the life that surrounds you, takes more than most people have. So I do not begrudge Sookie this moment of pain; it is her right to have it. But I must find a way to help her move past it.

When I park the car in the garage I go around to Sookie's side and open her door, but she doesn't even acknowledge me. She walks and moves almost as though she is glamoured, methodically taking out her keys, opening the kitchen door, and walking through to her bedroom. But when she would close the door in my face, I stop her.

"I am coming with you." It is not a request. Sookie nods her head but doesn't look at me, instead proceeding towards the closet, shedding her torn clothes and taking out a soft, blush pink slip. She does none of the other parts of her nightly bedtime ritual though, and this more than anything ratchets my fear up another notch. Without asking her permission, I shed my shirt and pants and climb into the bed with her, pulling her to me. When I do, I encounter the first resistance. Sookie attempts to push me away from her, but I do not let her. Instead, I hold her closer to me. She tries once more to push me away and then, as I had hoped, her desire to get away from me seems to awaken something within her and she begins to fight me in earnest, hitting and kicking me to get me to release her. She says nothing, only making sounds of effort as she pummels my chest and tries to use her knees for leverage to land blows to my legs.

Then I feel it; out of the nothingness that has been coming off of her since we left the club, anger blooms. The emotion is so intense that it is almost overwhelming to me. I have never felt anything like this from her before. Her emotions were always strong, but they never overpowered me, never invaded me with such force that I felt as though I might be crushed by them and I realize, in this instant and with a great deal of sadness for her, that Sookie **is** becoming something entirely different. When whatever is happening to her is complete there will be barely anything left of her human self. I feel my dead heart break a little for her and I know that, someday soon, I will need to tell her this. But not tonight.

"Let go of me!" She screams, finally giving voice to her pain. "I don't want your pity! I can feel it you know! I can feel you lying there, feeling sorry for me. Stop it! I want your pity even less than I want these miserable powers!"

"I am not pitying you, and your powers are not miserable, they are an awesome thing to behold." I say, my voice calm and level. I see the disbelief in Sookie's eyes when I say this and suddenly her rage is gone, as quickly as it came, and she simply crumples down into me, seeking comfort in the arms that, just moments ago, she tried to push away. I feel my chest grow wet almost immediately and her sobs fill the room.

"I don't' want this! I don't want **any **of this! I just want it to go away!" She weeps brokenly. I pull her into my arms and stroke her back, letting her purge the dark emotions within her. She is still so young, she is not equipped to handle any of the things that are happening to her and, as we lay there, I speak to my gods for the second time after so long silent, thanking them that we have come back together. I thank them that I can be of some help to her now. I thank them that she is a strong enough person to have survived those decades we were parted, virtually alone. And I ask forgiveness of them that I left her to deal with these things by herself. If they, and she, will forgive me I will spend the rest of my existence making amends. When her cries begin to subside, I pull back just far enough that I can kiss her forehead and then I arrange us so that we are on our sides, our heads sharing the same pillow, my body surrounding hers.

"I am sorry." I say softly. "I am sorry that I left you alone to deal with these things. I am sorry that, even now, that we have found each other again, the only thing I can never give you is the one thing that you want more than anything else. I'm sorry that I can never give you your 'normal'." Sookie sobs a little more when I say the word, but shakes her head in the negative.

"I can never have what I have never **been** and never will be. I know that. It isn't for you or anyone else to give me." She says, her voice barely above a whisper. "Eric, I didn't know before!" She says, her voice turning impossibly sadder all of the sudden. I probe her emotions but they give me no clue as to what she is talking about. All I sense from her is a deep desire for me to know that she is being truthful. I feel my eyebrow rising, but I try to keep my voice gentle.

"I don't understand, what did you not know?" Sookie's face takes on a pained expression and, I find it hard to follow her rapidly jumping emotions from point to another. She rises up, balancing her weight on one of her elbows and leaning over me.

"This power, I swear to you I didn't know I could do this before now." She says. For a moment more I'm still unsure what she means and then, comprehension dawns on me. I turn to her now, with my own feeling of displeasure.

"Sookie, you did not know that you could do this eight months ago, yes?" It's a question, but I already know the answer. She shakes her head with so much force that I worry, for a moment, she might hurt herself.

"No, I swear I didn't, I didn't even know I could do it **tonight**. But when I saw that man about to stake you and I knew that I couldn't get to you in time, I felt desperate, hopeless, and I just wanted everything to stop. I didn't know it actually **would**! Eric, you know that if I had known that night that I could do this, I would have?" She asks the last with a great deal of sad conviction in her voice. I pull her back down to the pillow, so that we are close enough our noses almost touch, so close that, when her tears begin to fall again, I feel the wetness on the fabric beneath me. I try to interrupt her, but she pushes on.

"Eric, I'm so sorry, if I had known I would have used it. I wouldn't have let her kill herself." Sookie's voice breaks on a sob and I barely hear her last words they are so softly spoken. "You must hate me!" I feel a dam break inside of me as well.

"Do you not think that I felt you that night?" I begin, my voice harsh even to my own ears. But it is not anger that makes it so, rather it is the desperate need to stop the downward spiral I feel in her emotions. The night's events are bringing her close to a breakdown and she is simply moving from one, real or imagined, cause to hate herself to another. I will not allow it to continue. I will not allow her to tear herself, and us, apart. "I knew, even then, that your feelings for me were not resolved, and yet I felt every ounce of your determination to help me get her back. You would have sacrificed your love for me to save her, because it was what I wanted." Sookie's eyes are locked on mine and I can feel the tiniest glimmer of hope within her.

"You don't hate me?" She says, her voice so small it's almost hard for me to hear it.

"No, I do not! I believe you when you say you could not do this that night and, even if I doubted you, I have only to touch our bond to feel your sincerity. Yet you blame yourself for not knowing earlier, and believe that I will blame you as well. Why?" Sookie looks down again and I can feel that she is about to say something that is very painful, yet something she believes from the bottom of her heart is true.

"How can I not? If only I'd known then, I could have saved her and you would be happy with your wife now, not here with me. How can you **not** despise me?" The question hits me full on, like a slap on the face, and I realize that I have failed her yet again. Instead of answering her question though, I pose to her one of a great deal more importance.

"Do you love me?" Sookie bolts up at my question, sitting straight up in front of me.

"With all my heart, but…" I too sit up, and this time I put my hand over her mouth, silencing her. I stare down at her, my eyes forcing hers to concentrate only on me.

"I have lived a very long time on this earth, Sookie. Most do not live to see a thousand years pass by, and I will tell you why. They lose themselves in their regret. They allow the things that they have lost to rule them, instead of looking to the future. I do not blame you for Layla's death. She took her own life! Saving her was not possible, we tried. What happened was out of my control and out of yours. I loved her, but I will not allow my grief to destroy me and I will not allow your guilt to destroy you, especially when it is warrantless.

When you came to me that night, when I asked you for help finding her, I know that I was harsh to you. Seeing you again…it was very hard, despite all the time that had passed. I did not want to think about my feelings for you, I refused to contemplate them. At that point, I only wanted my wife back and my life put back to rights. And so I allowed myself to concentrate only on my anger and unhappiness at you and nothing more. But, whether or not I wanted to acknowledge what I felt when I saw you again, I still felt it." I take Sookie's chin in my hand now, tilting her head up towards mine.

"I am not here with you now simply because you live and she does not. I have been alone most of the thousand years that I have spent on this earth, and if I did not love you as I do, as I always have, If I were not in love with you as I deeply, deeply am, then I would not be here with you at all. The past is the past Sookie, I cannot change the fact that I loved her any more than I can change the fact that you married the Shifter. Nor will I forget the past decades. I will cherish always my memories of her, but she is my past. I will not hold on to that and let it kill me slowly, from the inside out.

You are my future, do you understand that? From the moment I asked you to come here with me, I have lived for you, and I will continue to do so for as long as we walk this earth. I can never give you that 'normal' that you so desperately searched for, Sookie, but I can give you something that few women ever have; the knowledge that the man beside you wants to be nowhere else. I will give you all of myself, but I demand all of you in return. You must never allow yourself to doubt that we belong together again, or to believe that you are second best. Many years ago, Pam told me something profound. She told me that, to get over my grief at losing you, I needed to find something else to love. I thought about that for a long time. I wondered endlessly if I loved you because we were meant to be, or if I loved you because you were the first person interesting enough to cause me to give you a chance.

When I met Layla I chose to believe the latter, that I had simply been unwilling to love before. I chose to believe that because it gave me comfort and a sense of control and the right to be with someone else. But I have thought of little else except this since you walked back into my office and I know now that, valiant though the fight was, I must accept the truth. I fell in love with you because it was meant to happen. You have been my past and yet you are my future. That cannot be coincidence or luck. So Sookie, will you be with me now again, will you choose to live, or will you choose to let your regrets end you? You are the strongest person I have ever known, strong enough to survive what has broken others. I need that strong woman beside me! I want that strong Sookie beside me!" I look at her with all the love I have in my heart and hope that she has heard me. I have never spoken so much at a stretch in a thousand years; she is the only one I would bear my soul to like this, because she is a part of it. Sookie takes a shaky breath and looks down at my chest. I see her head cock to the side and the question that surges up into her eyes.

"Where is your ring?" She asks, her hand coming up to caress the skin of my collar bone where the chain is sometimes visible, even when I'm dressed. I take that hand, kissing it gently and then hold it in my own tightly.

"Down stairs in a box, where I keep other important memories." She looks at me with the strangest expression in her eyes, and the bond only sends me confused emotions that I cannot quite interpret.

"Why aren't you wearing it?" Again, I squeeze her hand. I should have told her before but, even though I wanted to tell her soon, I did not want it to be under such circumstances. I did not want it to be after another discussion about our pasts.

"I stopped wearing it a few weeks ago." She gives me another puzzled look. "We've been very busy, I didn't expect you to notice, with everything else that's been happening." Sookie's brow furrows.

"You didn't answer my question. Why?" Without another thought, I do what I have been wanting to do for weeks now and pull her into my lap so she's straddling me.

"I cannot walk with her anymore. I have chosen to walk with you instead. It is not fitting to wear a reminder of one when you wish to have another." With that, I cup her face in my hands and kiss her deeply.


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: I didn't thank my awesome beta __**Sheknitsnicely **__in the last chapter for all her hard, hard work on these chapters- you are so awesome, I can't say it enough! I also really want to thank my ffbff __**Cageyspice**__ for her ideas on this chapter- as she already knows these are the lemons that almost killed me I re-wrote them so many times. Thanks Cagey- they would not have happened without you!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Sookie's POV

After our long talk, unbelievably, Eric and I slept. Just slept. I'd never hated my powers more than I did at that particular moment, but I couldn't help it. The burst of energy that my new power had required, along with the emotional upheaval afterward, was just too much for my body and so, when Eric had gently laid me back down on the bed, kissing me with such passion that I wanted to do nothing more than rip off the last of my clothes and finally have him again, I did the only thing I could; I fell into almost complete unconsciousness!

When I swim back up from sleep this time, I notice almost immediately that I'm not in my bed. Looking around with still sleepy eyes I see that, wherever I am, there is a small lamp on the night table next to me that's been left on and that the room, as far as I can see from my position on my side, is windowless. I try to turn around and soon I realize that I'm restrained. A smile breaks across my face when I realize what is restraining me. Laying across my stomach is the arm of my Vampire. I turn onto my back and realize that, instead of leaving me for the day when I fell asleep, Eric brought me down to his room with him. Turning my head just slightly, I see the rest of him.

Eric lays on his side, his hair a golden cascade on the pillow and his body, which is covered by nothing more than one extremely expensive but oddly flimsy sheet, is pressed entirely against mine. The moment is deeply poignant for me and I feel tears start to course down my cheeks. The memory of the day that I accidentally popped into Eric's room in New Orleans comes rushing back to me. I feel again, acutely, all the anguish of knowing that I had lost him, that he would never belong to me again and that I had no right to be there with him. I look at him now and let myself feel everything I wanted so desperately to feel for him that day, without guilt, letting myself revel in my right to this moment.

The clock on the other nightstand says that it's just about half an hour before sunset. Eric will be waking soon. Lifting Eric's arm so that I can get out from under him, I rush to the bathroom, taking care of my needs and brushing my hair out slightly with his brush. On my way back to the bed I turn off the lamp and allow my magic to light my skin. Then I take the last steps back to the bed and sit beside him.

This time, when I watch him, the feelings that course through me are no less intense. No man has ever been so beautiful to me; no man has ever commanded my heart as this man does. I tried so hard to forget him, to banish him from my mind and my heart, but it was always useless. This is where I belonged, always. I take one last moment to feel sorry that our second chance had come at such a price, and then I push that thought away for the last time and wait for my Viking to start waking.

When I feel the first stirrings of consciousness, I let my hands wander softly over his face, caressing his eyes and lips and jaw. Then I lean down, just as I did that day, and let my lips gently kiss the side of his neck, letting my nose caress the skin just below his ear. Eric makes a soft moaning sound and then, just as it happened that day, I feel his hand come up, fisting into my hair and holding me to him. But this time, I don't pop away. This time I allow his strong arms to hold me to him. Barely conscious, I know that Eric doesn't completely know what's happening, but I don't care. I know he won't harm me.

Eric buries his face in the curtain of my hair and this time I don't even hesitate. As he pulls me back down onto the bed, I take the sheet in my hand and rip it down so that, when I land, he and I are body to body, with only my slip between us.

Eric rolls me under him and I hear a growl of desperate need and hunger break from his lips. His hands come up to take my own and he brings them above my head on the bed, holding them there so that I'm utterly immobile. His face, which is still buried in the curve of my neck, takes the skin just below my ear into his mouth and nips and sucks at it with heady abandon. His hips which are cradled between my own, now begin to move rhythmically against mine, creating the most exquisite friction against the silk that covers me. Pinned beneath him, feeling him need me so wildly, all I can do is moan in return and call his name.

"Sookie," He says, his face still in the curve of my neck, "I want you." In answer, I arch my back off the bed as best I can with my hands held prisoner and press the length of my body more firmly against him.

"Take me," I challenge, and then there are no more words. Eric pulls back so that we're face to face and the look in his eyes is wild, predatory. Eric slants his mouth across mine and there is no denying him the entrance he demands. Releasing my hands, he cups my face and holds it prisoner as he ravages my mouth, his tongue demanding entrance and, once granted it, tasting every part of my mouth. Minutes pass and I'm beginning to feel faint from lack of oxygen when he finally releases my lips and runs his own down my jaw and neck. Eric stops short at the hollow between my collar bones, lapping at the little concave before I feel his hands reach for the lacy top of my slip. I startle only slightly at the sound of the fabric ripping, realizing that, instead of wasting the time to slip it off my head, he's simply torn the thing completely in two.

Eric's hands come down to take hold of my arms this time, holding me in place as his head descends lower, exploring every inch of my now bare breasts. But, even though I can tell he's as desperate as I am, he doesn't simply bite them. Instead his actions, though still rough with passion, become slower and more exquisitely torturous. He circles the outside of my breast with his tongue, slowly making his way closer and closer to my nipple, which is so hard from desire and anticipation that the cool air in the room is painful on it.

As he licks and nips at the entire mound, his hips start to grind against me again. This time there is no barrier between us and I feel the full length and girth of him, rock hard and insistent against me, and my body's reaction is immediate. Heat and wetness flood my center and, though he still holds me down, I try to align us.

"Not yet Lover." He says, his voice dark and deep with his desire. "You smell so wonderful! The scent of your arousal has always driven me mad, but now… now it's so much more. I want you desperate before I have you. I want you to perfume the whole room with this heavenly scent." Finally, finally Eric's mouth descends on my hardened peak and I cry out, my hips moving impossibly faster against him as he sucks my breast wildly.

"Please, please Eric, let me touch you!" I say breathlessly. Eric looks up at me and I see the darkness of his need heat his ice blue eyes. It calls to something equally dark within me and, as his head leaves my nipple to descend further, his hands finally leaving my arms, I take the opportunity and grab him by the hair. Eric comes back up to me, surprise evident on his face, and I push hard on his shoulders, forcing him to lay back.

When he's lying back on the pillows once more, I lean down. I lay my body flat against his and kiss and lick and nip at every part of him. His mouth, his jaw, his neck, I spend endless moments repaying his torture of my breasts by licking and biting his nipples, and then I can wait no more. I slide down farther until I'm face to face with the second most magnificent part of his body.

Looking up at him, my own eyes now equally wild with desire, I let my hands slip around his hips to cup his perfect ass and then I let my head descend. At first I just taste him, letting my tongue slide down his shaft, licking him from tip to base and then retracing my path, giving a gentle suck to the head of his penis on the way back up.

Eric's hips jump off the bed and I feel his hand fist into my hair, but he doesn't insist, he just strokes my head and allows me to lead. Smiling up at him as he stares down, watching with a single minded intensity, I open my mouth and welcome him inside.

When the taste of him floods through me for the first time in so long, I let out a long, guttural groan. He feels so good in my mouth, so long and wide, the skin there is so soft but covering absolute steel. I work him hard for a long time, sucking him roughly on my way down and nipping at his head with each return trip up, allowing the pleasure and the little bit of pain to blend until he can utter nothing more than incoherent pleas of mercy. Finally, the hand in my hair becomes insistent, pulling me back up. Eric brings his mouth to mine once more, his tongue invading me and, no doubt, tasting himself there.

"Next time I will come between these beautiful lips. " He says, his thumb tracing them, "but right now I cannot wait a moment longer to bury myself deep within this luscious, dripping pussy." Eric emphasizes his point by letting his hand delve between my thighs, his fingers spreading me wide and working slow, hard circles around my entrance.

The time for teasing is over and we both know it. Eric pulls back so that we can stare intently into each other's eyes and then rolls us over so that I'm once again trapped beneath him. Taking his weight on his elbows, Eric leaves one hand tangled in my hair and the other goes around my body, holding me flush against him so that my breasts are crushed against him… and then he's there, his length pressing insistently against my entrance. With Eric's hand still holding my hair, I can do nothing but stare into his eyes and cry out as he slowly pushes into me until he's buried to the hilt inside me.

"Oh God!" I moan, "I'd forgotten!" I say, overtaken by the feeling of fullness, his cock stretching me, filling me to the very brink of my ability to take him.

"I have not. This is perfect Sookie, this is right! I want you like this forever, my beautiful little fairy. When we are with others, I want you standing by my side and when we are alone, I want you naked in my bed! I want your heart and your soul, your mind and your body, always." He says fervently, his voice strained from his attempts to hold back, to give me time to adjust. I take his face in my hands and look deeply into his eyes.

"Yes!" I say, my voice quiet but no less ardent. Eric looks at me with one last question in his eyes and, when I nod to him, he lets go completely, his body taking mine with such force that all I can do is lay there and scream from the pleasure he brings me.

It goes on and on in a never ending wave, his body surging forward until he's buried completely within me and then ebbing back until only the tip of him remains, teasing me with its loss. His hands hold tightly to my hip and hair, forcing me into exactly the right position to receive the very most of him. We move together, and cry out together, and strain for the peak that beckons us both.

The bond between us, open completely now, allows us to feel each other's pleasure and, after a little while, the two seem to merge so that I don't know which joy is his and which joy is mine. They're one and the same and exquisite and powerful and all-consuming and, when I finally reach the peak and fall off the edge, Eric is right behind me, my name a bellow that rises up from deep within him.

As we come down, Eric buries his head in my neck and we lay together for a long time, his body still moving gently in my own as we recover. When I can form words again, I take his head in my hands and lift it from my shoulder to stare into his eyes. There is so much love and passion there, right at the surface, and I want more than anything to kiss him and tell him how much I love him, but something is wrong.

"You didn't bite me?" I ask, bewildered. Eric leans down, his mouth taking mine in a kiss that is no less passionate, even after what we've just done.

"I wanted to, believe me Lover, but I was afraid." The confusion is evident in my eyes. Eric brushes my lips again before answering me. "You are so much more fairy now: not just your powers but your scent, your essence, and when you glow like this the scent is so much stronger than usual. Believe me love, I wanted to bite you, but I was afraid that if I did I might not be able to stop myself, and I could not take the risk of losing control." My heart is so entirely overcome with love for him at this moment that I could cry. How can this man love me so much that he would willing put aside his very nature for me? I feel a frown cross my face nonetheless.

"Eric, that's…my God, you're so wonderful!" I blame my post bliss state for my inability to form an intelligent sentence. "But, if you don't bite me, then won't it be…less enjoyable for you?" I ask, feeling such terrible embarrassment, it seems no matter how much of it I have, talking about sex will always make me uncomfortable. Eric looks at me and, if I could not feel his amused disbelief through our bond, his smirk would tell me exactly what he's feeling just fine.

"Lover, I doubt there is any way that sex with you could be anything but enjoyable. And no, biting you would be wonderful, but without it the experience is still beyond compare. Besides, I'm not saying I can never bite you, just that I did not want to risk it now. If you are amenable, perhaps we can try when I have not just woken and am ravenous." His words are said with nothing but a smile, but I still jump up out of the bed, turning on the light and running to the small mini-fridge at the other end of the room. Just as I suspected, there are several bottles of True Blood inside, and I take one out and warm it quickly in the microwave right next to it. When it's done, I bring it back to him and climb back in bed, snuggling up next to him and brushing my lips gently across his chest. When Eric is finished with it, he sets the empty bottle on the nightstand and turns to me.

"This isn't the first time you've glowed in my bedroom, is it?" He asks, his voice taking on a slightly more serious tone. I pull back from him and see him staring intently down at me. I don't know what to do, so I just admit the truth.

"No." I say, looking down at the sheet to avoid his eyes. "The day I went to the Fellowship center and met Steve Jr. it happened too. It wasn't intentional, I…he….his mind was so filled with darkness and he was thinking about the horrible things he wanted to do to you and, when I finally got out of there, I was badly shaken. I was so scared for you and I wanted desperately to know you were safe, and it just happened. I popped into your bedroom without even trying. It's never happened before. I think that it's our bond that allows it. Normally I have to see a place to pop to it, but because of our bond I was able to go to you just by wanting to be with you." I say it all in a single breath and, when I look up at Eric, I find that he's smiling gently down at me. Through our bond, I feel that he is concerned but not angry. "I'm sorry, it wasn't right…" Eric stops my apology with his lips. When he releases them he pulls me against him, my head on his chest as we half sit and half lay on the bed.

"I'm not angry Sookie, quite the opposite, I find this is all so amazing. When I saw you glowing in the forest that night in Stavanger, I was sure that it had happened before, but I couldn't remember anything clearly. Sookie, I know you do not like them, but your powers are astounding." I feel my eyebrows knit together at that.

"Eric, it's not just that I don't like them- which I don't- it's that they scare me. What happened last night…one day I will kill someone without even meaning too. At this point it's not an irrational fear, it's just a matter of time. I have no idea what I'm capable of and no one else does either." Eric's arms tighten around me and I feel him sending me comfort through our bond.

"Have you spoken to any of your fairy kin?" He asks. I try not to, but the derisive snort that wells inside me cannot be contained.

"Yes, I spoke to Claude a few times. He was entirely unhelpful. He said that everything that was happening to me was impossible and that he didn't know how to help." This time it's Eric that makes the angry snorting sound.

"Fucking fairies!" He spits. "What he means is, he doesn't want to help! The man has never been anything but worthless." I let my hands rub soothing circles on Eric's chest, the motion seeming to calm us both.

"Well, Claude never liked me very much to begin with and now he believes I'm responsible for the death of his sister, so you can see how he wouldn't be too keen to help me." Eric kisses my head gently, his lips lingering in my hair.

"I will make inquiries. Perhaps there is a way to contact Niall. As much as I dislike him, he would certainly be able to shed light on what is happening." I rise up on my elbow at that and look at Eric.

"Not that I'm Niall's biggest fan or anything, but why do you dislike him so much?" Eric's face takes on a dark, almost frightening expression.

"Perhaps dislike is the wrong word. I despise him with every fiber of my undead being!" Eric's voice is equally dark and filled with emotion and, through our bond, I can feel every ounce of his deep hatred for my great-grandfather. "I blame him almost entirely for what happened to you and for the subsequent breakdown of our relationship. He contacted you when he was in the midst of fending off his enemies, and exposed you to them. He did nothing for you in the aftermath and left you broken. I know that I too bear a great deal of blame for what happened, but none of it would have come to pass if he had simply stayed away from you." I look at him slightly astonished.

"I guess I never thought of it that way." I say, feeling a little taken aback. "I know what I said about being a pawn to more powerful beings and even after I'd cooled down I was never all that thrilled with Niall's decision to reveal himself at that particular moment. But as for the stuff between you and I…when I thought of it afterwards, I never thought of it as anyone else's fault but my own. I refused your offer to come and stay with you and I lashed out at you over and over again afterwards. Niall certainly didn't do me any favors, but I never thought of it as his fault." Eric sighs heavily and pulls me back into his arms.

"Sookie, we all contributed to the situation, but you are far too willing to take the blame on yourself. Niall should never have contacted you, especially not while a war was brewing. And I, a man nine centuries older than you, should have been stronger than to leave a broken little girl to heal on her own. It was wrong, unequivocally. Can you ever forgive me for what I did?" He asks softly, his voice filled with remorse. Again I look up at him, astonished.

"I never blamed you Eric, never!" He only frowns at that.

"You should." He replies. I can feel his sorrow and regret, and I do the only thing that I know will help. I rise up, pulling the sheet off of us again and straddling him.

"You told me last night that I shouldn't let my regrets kill me slowly from within, so don't you start now. We fucked up, the both of us, end of story. Now, if you want to make it up to me, you can fuck me again!" I say, leaning down and grabbing the back of Eric's head, hauling him up to kiss me.

Eric bolts upright and wraps his arms around me, lifting me slightly and bringing me down on his instantaneously straining erection. I moan deeply, my head falling back, my body already trembling with anticipation, looking forward to spending the rest of the night in almost every position known to God and man!


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Just the usual stuff. I really want to thank everyone who has reviewed/Alerted/Favorited- thank you, thank you, thank you! And, of course, thank my awesome beta Sheknitsnicely- cause you are the reason that I wrote this story and I love you! _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…._

Eric's POV

I come out of my daytime rest to find Sookie sleeping deeply beside me. The sight of her little body laying pressed up against mine, her soft heat warming me, her chest rising and falling gently in her sleep, evokes so many different emotions in me at once: the need to protect, the need to shelter, the need to love, and, foremost at this moment, the need to take. My desire for her body and her blood, driven by her warm sweet scent all around, is almost overwhelming me.

I want desperately to lean down and sink my fangs into the sweet curve of her neck and my cock into the even sweeter softness of her sex, but the fear that her blood might overwhelm me causes me to pause. I did take a small taste of her last night, but only after several bottles of True Blood and, even though I was able to control myself, I was right. Her blood is so much more fae now, I will have to be careful at all times to keep my head. To that end, I decide to get up and heat a few bottles of blood before my delectable little fairy wakes, and then I will be able to enjoy all of her without fear for her safety.

Just as I'm taking the blood out of the microwave, my cell phone goes off. Hurrying to pick it up so that it will not disturb Sookie's sleep.

"Pam, what news?" I ask softly, sitting down in one of the arm chairs and placing my blood on the coffee table.

"Eric, I just heard from Stan. They're ready to take Newlin tonight." I feel my fangs slam down at this. Over the last two months my allies and I have been watching Newlin and his inner circle, tracking him and those that seem closest to him. The first phase of our plan is to apprehend Newlin and have Sookie interrogate him. His capture will no doubt alert his inner circle that something is amiss and this is the reason that we have waited. We needed to have them all identified and tracked so that, if they scatter, we will still be able to find them. Once Newlin has given up information regarding the location of any other missing supernaturals and anything else of relevance, we will strike.

"Excellent. I want you on hand to receive Mr. Newlin when he arrives. Sookie and I leave for New Orleans tonight, we should be back in two nights. Make sure that Newlin is…ready to talk by the time we come back." I instruct her.

"With pleasure. I have finished interrogating the Fellowship vermin you spared the other night. They know nothing of importance but they are from the same church as the waitress's relatives." I feel my anger rising another notch at this.

"If they are of no further use then you may dispose of them as you please." I can practically feel Pam's excitement over the phone.

"Thank you." She says, and I can hear from the slight lisp that she is now talking around her fangs. Just before we disconnect I add one more instruction.

"Pam, when you speak to Stan again, tell him I want Newlin's wife too." The laugh that comes from the other end of the phone would be described as blood chilling, were a human to actually hear it.

"Of course." She purrs. With that, we disconnect and I am left with my thoughts as I finish my last bottle of blood.

Before killing the waitress, Lindsey, I let Sookie take a good long look in her head. She provided the answers to some of our questions, but not all. After Sookie showed up at the Fellowship center in New Orleans, it appears that someone contacted Lindsey and gave her Sookie's name and description and asked Lindsey to keep her eyes and ears open to find out anything about her.

It didn't take long for Lindsey to overhear one of my many conversations with Pam in which Sookie was mentioned, and for her to realize and report that Sookie was with me in Norway. It's also how she found out when we were coming back and that I had left Sookie alone at the farmhouse, since I spoke to Pam, at the club, again after dropping her off. One pair of determined ears had wreaked so much havoc. One death for that blood bag, no matter how long and anguished I could have made it, could never be enough to repay the debt of pain she owed me.

After that, even though I had no intention of ever lending out Sookie's services as a telepath, we both agreed that it would be best for her to screen the staff and monitor the comings and goings in the club.

We still have no idea how Newlin knows that Sookie is a fairy, but at this point it does not change the fact that the evidence is overwhelming. He is behind these attacks on Sookie and I will not allow him one more chance to separate me from my love. If he thinks that I will be too cowardly to fight him, or too wrapped up in organizing protests and gathering coalitions, then he is a fool. I will not allow any body to separate me from that which is mine again! I will have vengeance for that which he has tried to take from me and for that which he has taken from me. I will make sure that his death is agonizing and slow, and takes place only after he watches as I kill his own wife!

Just then, I hear the soft sounds of Sookie waking and they pull me out of my black revere. Rising, I make my way over to the bed and climb in next to her, lying on my side facing her. Sookie turns over and buries her head in my chest, throwing an arm around my waist. I feel her soft, sweet lips start to trail kisses across my skin and the groan that is pulled from me comes up from my very soul. I lean down, wrapping an arm around her and burying my own face in her beautiful, silky hair.

"Eric." She whispers sleepily into my chest between kisses. We have to leave tonight for New Orleans, but one of the beauties of being King is that almost everything waits on you.

"My love." I whisper back, my hands beginning to wander over the soft, lush curves of her body, settling on the beautiful swell of her bottom. I hold her there as I bring her hips to mine, thrusting my already aching erection against her.

"When do we have to leave?" She asks, looking up at me, her hands taking the place of her mouth on my body, leaving trails of heat across my chest and down my abdomen. I press my hardness more firmly into the juncture between Sookie's thighs and hear her make a breathy sound of pleasure.

"Later," I answer, "when we're done." With that, I bring my other hand to the back of her head, gripping her hair and tilting her head so that I can taste all of her most sensitive spots: the shell of her ear, the curve of her neck, the ends of her collar bones, the crease between her arm and her shoulder, the undersides of her perfect bare breasts.

When my tongue traces the bottom curve of her pillow-soft mounds Sookie cries out, rearing up and winding her own hand roughly into my hair, holding me there.

"No teasing." She commands throatily, and I can't help the chuckle that escapes me. I do as my little fairy bids me and cease my teasing, nipping the skin just below her nipple before taking the hardened peak into my mouth.

The taste of her skin is exquisite and the feel of her pebbled peak between my teeth makes me wild. I roll us so that she is underneath me and release her hair, bringing my hand to her other breast, kneading its softness as my mouth pulls and tugs at its twin. I could happily spend this entire night just feasting on her breasts, but my straining cock has other ideas. I'm about to travel lower when her hand in my hair attempts to stop me. I smile up at her.

"I won't tease," I tell her, "but there is something else I need to feel on my tongue." Sookie throws her head back onto the pillows at that, releasing my hair. My mouth slides down lower on her body, tracing her ribs before dipping briefly into her navel. When my face finally meets the beautiful flesh between her thighs, I inhale deeply, letting the scent of her intoxicate me. I let my nose gently brush the golden curls there before parting them with my fingers. Then for a moment I just stop, looking at her beauty, overwhelmed by it. She is mine once more: her beautiful body, her kind heart, her soul which shines from her eyes, brighter than the rays of the sun I remember in my childhood. I had banished the thought of her from my mind for so many years in an attempt to find happiness again, but no more. To see her like this again, her naked body spread before me, is like a vision from the gods. To touch her, to kiss her, to bring her pleasure like this once more is a miracle and proof that the direction of our lives is not always ours to control. She is meant for me and I for her and, as I let my mouth descend on her most secret place, tasting her most intimate flavor, I swear that she will be mine in every way for the rest of eternity.

Sookie writhes on the bed, crying out her pleasure as I bring two fingers to her entrance, teasing them around her opening forcefully before driving them in. My tongue takes one more long lick of her folds and then I suck her over-sensitive nub into my mouth, working her hard with my lips and teeth, just as I did to her breast. Sookie holds on to herself for a minute more but, when I turn my head to the side, sinking my fangs into the skin of her thigh, she falls over, long and loud.

The taste of her blood on my tongue, mingling with the nectar of her arousal, is perfection and it takes every ounce of my self-control to stop drinking and seal the wound before I take too much. Looking up from between her thighs, I see that Sookie is almost unconscious from the strength of her orgasm. I swallow the smile of satisfaction that wants to paint my face and concentrate on more important things.

Kneeling back on the bed, I lift Sookie into my lap, straddling me and, in one swift motion, impale her on my rock hard cock. Sookie cries out, the force of my invasion into her tight channel bringing her out of her post-orgasmic haze. She calls my name over and over as I slide deep inside of her and throws her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. When I'm buried to the hilt in her tight, wet heat, I bring one hand to cradle her neck and the other to support her lower back and then I do what will bring us both the most pleasure; I remain kneeling but lean her all the way back, supporting her weight as she lays with the top half of her body over the bed, but not touching it, and then raise myself up slightly and begin to thrust into her, slow and hard.

The angle I position her at sends my cock that last eigth of an inch inside of her, the head hitting the barrier deep inside that signals the end of her silken channel. Sookie looks up at me, eyes wide with shock, but I only smile down at her, my mind already beginning to recede into the depths of the pleasure we both feel as I hold her immobile, her body a prisoner to my aching, thrusting length.

"Faster." She grinds out between clenched teeth as she starts to tremble from her pleasure. I'm only too happy to comply, keeping my strokes rough and hard but picking up the pace. The sight of her laid out like this, her breasts bouncing with each thrust of my hips, her beautiful blue eyes locked on mine as sanity recedes from them, takes me to the very brink and the bond between us flares as our intense pleasure meets and merges and feeds itself, until Sookie's hands rake down my chest, nearly drawing blood as she comes violently. Her satin tunnel grips my length hard, forcing my own orgasm just a moment later and, as I come, my cock filling her over and over again with the evidence of my pleasure, I pull her back into my lap and hold her tightly.

For a long time the only sound in the room is her labored breathing. I stroke her back soothingly, my length still hard and buried deep inside of her, and begin to whisper words of praise and devotion. She is my goddess and I tell her so. After a few more minutes Sookie looks up at me, her eyes worried.

"Are you sure you want me to go with you. I could just stay here." She says, a tiny hint of panic in her tone. I press her firmly against me, her upper body flush against mine, her breasts crushed to my chest, and kiss her ferociously.

"I want you with me. Even if there were no threat to your safety I would still want you with me. Your place is by my side." Sookie frowns at that.

"What if they don't accept me?" She says sadly, her eyes looking down between us instead of at my face. I bring one of my hands from around her body to take her chin and tilt it up, so that her eyes are on me.

"They will because I wish it so and because you are perfect. You are smart, beautiful, gifted, gracious, and sweet so there is no reason for them not to." Before Sookie can begin to protest I move, gently thrusting my hips forward and taking her mouth once more in a deep kiss, letting our pleasure overwhelm us both again.

Several hours later we board my jet, preparing to head to New Orleans. The nervousness is still plain in Sookie's eyes, but I give her hand a gentle squeeze and send her strength and courage through our bond. Tomorrow night I will hold court in New Orleans, settling disputes that my Sheriffs have been unable to and hearing petitions and, at this court, presenting Sookie formally as my bonded. Sookie has been worried that it's too soon for such a thing, but I will not hide my relationship with her. I am a King and, now more so than ever, appearances are important in the supernatural world. To allow her to hide away would be to imply that I wish her hidden, that I am embarrassed by our connection, and this will only invite others to look down on her. If she is in the shadows then others will consider her my mistress or pet and believe that I do not wish her to be accorded the same respect as my late wife. Though Sookie may not like the idea, the sooner that all see her and understand how I expect her to be treated, the better she will be received.

During the flight, I bring Sookie up to date on my conversation with Pam and the events that will be happening tonight. Sookie takes the whole thing in with a great deal of equanimity, but I can tell that she is worried. Her worries are different than they have been in the past though. Where before Sookie used to hold all human life as sacred, the events that happened, to bring us back into each other's lives, seem to have changed her opinion.

Perhaps it is that she now recognizes herself as a supernatural as well, or perhaps she realizes that the Fellowship has essentially pushed us into an "us or them" confrontation, but I know that the apprehension of Newlin does not bother her; rather it is the repercussions of his apprehension that she is worried about. She fears an all out war with humans, and I cannot tell her that her fears are unfounded. I meant what I said to her all those months ago. I have dealt with greater threats than the hatred of petty humans and, though she has not, I have lived through all out war before and will do so again if that is what it takes to keep her safe. An hour later, we are descending the stairs of the plane in New Orleans and heading to the residence. When we arrive, the Housekeeper greets us.

"I've done up the blue rooms for you just ask you asked, your Majesty. The renovations to the Royal Apartments are coming along nicely and they should be complete the next time you come." She says, smiling at me and then at Sookie as well.

Sookie looks around the entire time and, from the feelings she's transmitting to me, I know that she finds the residence beautiful but intimidating.


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: Well we're heading into the home stretch of the story. I just wanted to say, as always, a huge thank you to everyone who's reviewed/alerted/favorited the story. It keeps me writing and I'm truly honored that you're all reading._

_I also want to thank my beta Sheknitsnicely- cause being my beta is hard, HARD work and you always make it look really easy!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Okay on with it…_

Sookie's POV

As the Housekeeper leads us through the residence, most of which I didn't see when we were here almost a year ago, I'm astonished. The place is beautiful, elegant, and perfect. Three words, if Bill and Pam are to be believed, that seem to embody the woman who decorated this place.

When it was just Eric and me in Norway, or even in Shreveport when it was just the people at Fangtasia and the allies that floated in and out in ones and twos, nothing felt that different. But now that we're back together in every way, now that he wants to present me to his whole court as something more to him than an old acquaintance, I feel inadequate to the task.

All I can think about is how they will all be staring at me, looking at me, comparing me to her and, no doubt, finding me lacking. And while I don't necessarily care what a group of strangers think of me, a part of me is terrified that, if his people and his allies find me lacking, then eventually Eric will begin to see me that way too.

When we reach the blue rooms, the Housekeeper tells me that she will have food brought up for me in an hour and that Rasul will be waiting in the audience chamber for Eric to approve everything. Then she's gone. Eric excuses himself to make a phone call, no doubt to Pam with last minute instructions, and I'm left to look around the room.

The four poster, curtained bed which dominates the room, is enormous, fashioned out of lovely dark Cherry wood and hung with opaque sapphire colored curtains that are just the same shade as Eric's eyes. The hard wood floors are polished to a shine and laid here and there with blue, cream, and gold rugs. The cream colored couch looks stately yet inviting and the desk standing just at the side of the French doors is the same lovely dark wood as the bed. In all, the room is fairly sparsely furnished, but all the furnishings are expensive, elegant, and comfortable. Again the room looks more like it has been furnished to Eric's tastes and I'm overcome by this thoughtfulness in understanding that I wouldn't feel comfortable in his usual bedroom.

Despite the fact that we aren't in the Royal apartments I feel her presence all around me and I wonder if Eric does too. I know that thinking like this will only bring me pain, but a part of me feels like it's a necessary step for me. In many ways people will see me as stepping into this woman's shoes and I need to make peace with her presence here if I'm to move forward in my own path. I do not know that I will ever be more than Eric's bonded. Our pledge was broken and so, if we ever desired to be married, we would have to do it again which means that I have no claim to the title of wife. Likewise, I may be the bonded of a King, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I see myself as a Queen. I don't want this woman's life and I don't wish Eric's subjects to see me as her replacement. No matter what else I may or may not be, I'm Sookie Stackhouse and I'll keep being her and behaving like her, no matter what position my partner holds.

At that exact moment, I feel two strong arms come around me and a curtain of long golden hair falls in front of my face as Eric leans down to kiss the top of my head. I put one arm on top of his as the other reaches back and takes hold of the back of his neck, pressing his front to my back.

"You are thinking very hard." He says softly. I nod at that, as we continue to stare at the bed.

"Eric, what are you plans for me tomorrow night?" I ask. Other than knowing that he wished to present me, I haven't asked much about what will happen.

"I told you, I will present you to my court." I nod once more but make a gesture with my hands, urging him to elaborate. Eric kisses my head once more and explains in detail. "Tomorrow night I will wait for everyone to be gathered and then I will enter the room and take my chair. You will enter on my arm and sit beside me. We will hear petitions and disputes from my Sheriffs which I will make judgments on and, no doubt, I will hand down a few punishments and then the night will be over." I turn in his arms as he tells me all this.

"You want me to sit beside you, as in… sit in the Queen's chair?" I ask. Eric nods and smiles down at me, but I can't return his smile.

"Eric, I am not your Queen, I have no right to that chair." Eric's brow furrows when I say this.

"You are not my Queen yet, but that is only a matter of time. There is no reason why you should not take your rightful place immediately. I do not wish there to be any confusion about your status." This time it's me who frowns. I do not want to argue about this with him, but I'm not backing down.

"Eric, you and I haven't talked much about our expectations for the future, but I'm telling you this and I mean it, so don't start a fight you aren't going to win. I will not sit in the chair that belongs to your wife unless, or until, I am your wife. Right now, and in the minds of all of those people, that chair still belongs to another woman, and I will not have my first appearance be one in which those present think that I've just dug one giant hunk of gold." Eric takes a little step back, seeming shocked that I see things that way, but I just continue to look at him, my expression determined.

"Sookie, no one will think that at all. Many of them know that you and I suffered a…separation, and it will be a cause for celebration that I have been reunited with my bonded. Most Vampires never bond to a human, but that doesn't mean that they don't understand the significance." I nod my head, understanding what he's saying.

"Eric, I understand all that and I didn't say that I wasn't willing to walk out with you, or that I was trying to duck the proceedings I just won't sit in that chair. Why can't I just stand beside you, like I usually do in your office?" Eric's face risks becoming permanently frozen in a scowl as his frown continues to deepen. Through our bond I can sense his disappointment, but I know he can also sense my determination. The compromise I proposed is as far as I'm willing to give right now. Eric thinks it over for one last, long minute and then he capitulates.

"Very well, if you are willing to walk out with me and to stand with me then I will accept that…for now." He says. I nod my head and pull him back to me, planting a small kiss on his lips.

"Thank you." I say softly. Eric makes a grumpy huffing noise, but nods his head in agreement of our compromise. "Now, why don't you show me the audience chamber and let's practice once or twice so I don't make a fool of myself tomorrow night." I smile up at him, hoping to see even a small smile in return.

"Fine, but it will be a long night tomorrow night, your feet are going to hurt." I can't help the laugh that escapes me when I hear the petulance in his tone; like a little boy denied a toy by his over strict mother.

"I'll take my chances." I say, still laughing. Eric makes yet another grumpy noise and then takes me downstairs and shows me the lay of the land.

When we return to the blue rooms an hour later, I'm feeling better about the whole thing. Perhaps it was the easy acceptance that Rasul gave me as he went over everything that will happen tomorrow night (as Sherriff of Area One Rasul always play the role of principle minster at court) or his approval of my decision to have the Queen's chair removed, but everything seems a little bit more doable now.

"Are you sure you will not reconsider?" Eric asks me, pulling me from my thoughts. I turn around to see him closing the door and shake my head.

"Positive." I say. Eric's face takes on another disappointed look, but he seems to accept that the conversation is over for now and instead decides to focus on something we can both agree on.

Taking me in his arms, Eric lays his mouth gently over mine, his tongue sweeping across my lips asking permission to enter. I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around him and return his kiss, my own tongue sweeping out to caress first one fang and then the other, softly.

As we kiss and caress our actions become more heated and Eric wastes no time getting both of us out of our clothes. When we're both naked I turn around to head to the bed, but suddenly feel his hands wrap around my waist, picking me up and laying the top half of my body face down over the arm of the couch instead. Eric spreads my legs slightly with his hands and then he kneels down between them, bringing his face to my folds. I can't seem to make a sound as his tongue darts out and licks me from my clit to my entrance and back. Eric does this twice more and then I feel his tongue enter me as his hands come up to grab the cheeks of my bottom holding me in place. The couch arm is soft against my body and my breasts press into the cushions as he devours me from my helpless position.

"You taste so fucking sweet, Lover, I can't get enough of you. All I could think about while Rasul was droning away was getting you back up here and burying my face in your delicious pussy." His vulgar words make me absolutely crazy with lust and that coupled with the amazing things his tongue and teeth are doing, have me using the couch as leverage to buck back into his face over and over again. It only takes a few more minutes and I feel him rip the first orgasm from my body. I come screaming his name into the pillows of the couch and, before I can fully recover, I feel him stand up behind me and enter me swiftly.

The pace he sets is brutal and beautiful all at once, causing my first orgasm to elongate and continue on as he thrusts into me with complete abandon. Eric pushes into me forcefully each time and I rear back into him with equal strength. He's buried so deep inside me in this position that I l actually worry, for an absent moment, that he might split me in two, but the pleasure he's bringing me is too intense for me to care. Eric's hands hold me roughly by the hips as his thrusts become ever faster and then, after just a moment more, I feel myself fall over the edge again and hear him follow with a deafening roar as he releases inside of me, filling me over and over again with his essence. When Eric pulls out and releases me from my position, bent over the couch, I don't even hesitate. I'm not done with him!

Going to my knees in front of him, I take the cheeks of his bottom in my hands and pull him forward, driving him into my mouth. The taste of us both on his still hard cock is amazing and I lick and suck him with crazed abandon, making sure to clean every last taste of my juices off of him. Eric gives a surprised groan at first but, within a moment, I feel his hand fist into my hair. I look up at him and give him a wicked smile and then I just stop, holding him in my mouth but no longer moving.

Eric looks down at me, confused for a single second, but when I smile back up at him again and nod, or do the best imitation of a nod I can with his enormous erection in my mouth, he seems to understand and gives another deep groan. Tightening his hand in my hair, Eric begins to move his hips, thrusting in and out of my mouth. At first he starts slow but, when he feels my hands squeeze his ass, he picks up the pace, driving his shaft in and out of my lips, pushing deeper and deeper into my throat each time he surges forward.

"Fuck!" He whispers raggedly and, when I bring one of my hands around from his behind to fondle his balls, he loses control and begins to come, shooting thickly down my throat. It barely registers with me that the noises of pleasure are coming from me, as I swallow every last bit he has to give me. When he's finally done coming, he hauls me up for a passionate kiss and I feel his tongue sweeping into my mouth, searching for his own taste there.

Eric kisses me for a long time, holding me against his body, trapping me to him with his arms and then picking me up and carrying me to the bed. Laying me down on my side Eric comes up behind me, spooning his body to mine. He goes up on one elbow and wraps his other arm around me, pulling my back tight against chest. The other hand goes down to the juncture between my legs and begins to work me as he enters me again from behind. I throw one leg over his hips, opening for him, and one hand goes over his were he's playing with me and together our hands pleasure me as he thrusts in and out. Eric's face descends into the curve of my neck and begins to nip at the skin under my ear.

"Oh God Eric," I moan, my head going back to lie on his shoulder, "please, please bite me! I want all of you inside of me!" My pleas come out as breathy wisps of air, but he needs no further prompting and, a moment later, I feel his fangs penetrate the skin above my vein and he begins to drink from me. Just as I begin to lose control from the overwhelming sensations of his fangs in my neck, his fingers sublimely working my clit and his cock driving relentlessly in and out of my body, Eric pulls his mouth away from my neck and brings the hand that was working me to his mouth, ripping the skin of his wrist open. Eric's bleeding wrist swims in front of my face and I take it without even stopping to think, bringing his sweet, powerful blood into my body as he releases his essence inside of me.

We both come screaming and then collapse onto the bed. Eric tucks me more firmly against him, wrapping his arms around me, leaving his still hard member inside of me and begins to gently stroke my skin and kiss my hair.

"Sleep, Lover." He whispers gently, and I feel myself falling into unconsciousness without another thought.

I wake up the next day quite late in the afternoon. I see immediately that the Housekeeper has left me a tray of food on the coffee table, along with a large pot of coffee. I smile at that and gently lift Eric's arm from around my waist. Turning quickly, I place a small kiss in the center of his chest and then I put on my robe and sit down to eat. The food looks wonderful and it's still warm! I sit and eat a plate of scrambled eggs, sausage and biscuits with country gravy and wash it down with both a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice, when I hear a knock at the door. The Housekeeper ducks her head in and smiles when she sees me.

"Oh good, Ms. Stackhouse, you're up. I just wanted to let you know that there will be a gentleman arriving in about forty-five minutes to help you choose a dress. Once you've chosen an outfit for this evening and all the accessories, his Majesty has arranged for someone to come and do your hair and makeup." I look up at her, a little astonished.

"Thank you very much." I say, trying to sound as though the idea of having my hair and make-up professionally done isn't something new to me.

"Not a problem, Ms." She smiles. "I'll come up and get you when he arrives." I nod my head again and decide that it would be best to shower and wash my hair now.

Forty-five minutes later, the Housekeeper knocks again and escorts me downstairs. The entire time we walk, I find myself overwhelmed with curiosity about what she thinks about me. Surely this is someone who interacted with Eric's wife on a regular basis. I'm astonished when I finally do peek into her head and find nothing terrible there.

As we walk down stairs, all she thinks is was she remembers me from the night that the Fellowship center burned down and she knows that I had played some part in trying to rescue the Queen and that she is exceedingly happy to see that His Majesty is happy. She thinks that I'm a nice, mannerly girl and, even though she misses her mistress greatly, there are no following thoughts about how I'm unworthy to be with Eric or how I can never, ever live up to her. It makes me exceedingly grateful and I find myself thanking her a little more than is necessary, strictly speaking, for helping me find the proper room.

We stop at one of the smaller parlors, where an older looking gentleman is supervising as two younger men bring in rack after rack of lovely dresses. He turns around and greets me warmly but, when I look into his head, I find that Eric has taken the time to personally put the fear of God into him. The man's instructions are to help me pick the perfect dress and not mention his wife under any circumstances. I feel momentary guilt that his poor man is so scared because of me, and I make sure to be extra nice to him.

An hour later, I've settled on a lovely sleeveless, dark blue dress with a structured bodice and a skirt that falls just past my knees, clinging to my form until the knee and then kicking out gently. Two hours after that, I'm finished. The dress is beautiful and the matching blue, stain peep toe heels are lovely, my hair and make-up are simple and flawless, and I feel like a princess. Taking a deep breath, I make my way back upstairs.


	20. Chapter 20

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Eric's POV

When I wake this night, it's the first time that Sookie is not with me in four nights and, even though it's only been a short time, it already feels wrong for her not to be here. I get up, shower, and dress quickly. Just as I'm putting on my suit jacket I see the reflection of the door opening in the mirror. Standing in the doorway is Sookie. If I had any breath in my body, she would have taken it away with her beauty. I turn slowly and watch as she closes the door behind her and glides through the room to stand in front of me.

"Will this do?" she asks, turning around so that I can get the full effect of the dress. I can only nod my head as words are still beyond me.

"You look beautiful." I finally manage to say. Sookie smiles wide at my compliment and chuckles a little.

"I ought to! That poor man that you had bring my dress selection was beside himself the whole time, worried that he'd say or do something wrong and you'd be angry at him!" I give her an impish smile, never one to be ashamed of being caught out.

"I was simply making sure that he treated you as you deserve." I say, taking her chin in my hand and tilting her head so that I can kiss her forehead. Sookie wraps her arms around me but, when I pull away, I see that her expression is very serious.

"Eric, I know you meant well, but I think we need to have a talk right here and now." I know that she can see the puzzled expression on my face and so she continues quickly. "I know that you want me to feel comfortable here, comfortable in your world, and I know that you're worried that I will be upset, or scared off, or hurt if people compare me to her and the comparison isn't favorable, but you can't bully the whole world into being nice to me." I attempt to interrupt and assure her that yes, in actuality, I can, when she silences me with an icy glare. "And even if you could," she stresses, "I wouldn't want you to. Eric, the only person's opinion that matters to me is yours. If you compared me and found me lacking, I don't know if I could handle that, but as long as you can look at me and love me and want me by your side, I will deal with whatever everyone else thinks. Okay?"

I want desperately to believe that this is so, and truthfully I don't understand for a moment how anyone could look at her and find her lacking. She is very different from my late wife, it's true, but at their heart they are both very similar women: loyal, fierce, intelligent, kind and beautiful.

"It pleases me to hear this Sookie. I was afraid, when we arrived last night that you felt as though you were surrounded by a ghost." Sookie frowns deeply at this and I again lift her chin so that I can see her eyes.

"I'm not saying that I don't feel her here. It would be impossible not to, her stamp is everywhere. But if you can be here with me and actually be with me and not your memories, then I can deal with what others think." I nod my head in understanding. She's right, this place is filled with memories, but I do not feel haunted by them. Everywhere I look, the reminders of the last two decades are happy ones and, when I look at Sookie, I feel that I will make more happy memories here, with her.

"Thank you." I say simply. Sookie smiles at me and is about to pull away when I take her by the waist and pull her firmly against me once more. There is something else that we need to talk about before we go downstairs.

"My love, you told me last night that we had not talked about our expectations for the future. And though I am respecting your desire not to sit beside me tonight, I meant what I said. I am respecting it for now." Sookie smiles up at me gently, but there is a sadness behind her eyes that I had not expected. I had hoped that declaring my intention to make her my Queen would make her happy. "What is it?" I ask, concerned.

"Eric, I know that you love me. I can feel it," she says, bringing her hand to touch first my heart and then her own, "but there isn't any need for us to rush anything. I've been a wife before and I know what that's like, I don't require the title to be with you and to be happy with you. I've never been a Queen, but I'm not sure that I'm cut out for something like that." My heart begins to hurt just a little bit when I hear her say this.

"Do you mean you do not wish to be a wife, or you do not wish to be my wife?" I ask, the defensiveness plain in my voice. Sookie looks shocked for a second before shaking her head.

"I'm not saying either. I guess what I'm saying is that I love you, and having you back in my life, really back in my life, makes me happier than I've felt I had a right to be in decades. But the rest of it, the political and public side…I just need time. I've been hiding away from the world for a long time now. It's going to take me time to adjust to this. Right now I just want to live my life with you, to have your love and be your bonded. The rest can wait, can't it?" Her eyes are pleading with me to understand and, deep down inside, I know that I do even if, selfishly, I want everything- all of her- at once. I asked her for time that night she was poisoned. I told her that I loved her but I wasn't ready for anything more than words. And I could give her the same now. I have her in all the ways that count. I can wait for her to accept everything else.

"I understand." I say, leaning down and gently brushing her lips, making sure not to smudge her make-up.

"Thank you." She replies, genuine happiness in her voice.

"Come." I smile down at her, putting an arm around her waist and leading us downstairs.

As we head to the stairs, the guard at the top bows deeply to us both and I hear him speak into his ear piece, alerting the guards at the audience chamber doors that we are heading their way. Sookie looks at me with an eyebrow raised and I send her confidence and reassurance.

By the time we get to the audience chamber, the double doors are closed. The guards there again bow to us and speak into their headsets, alerting Rasul that we are ready. Then, from behind the closed double doors, Rasul's voice booms out.

"All will bow to His Royal Highness, the Supreme Monarch of Louisiana and Arkansas, Eric Northman and to his Majesty's bonded, Sookie Stackhouse." The guards swing the double doors open and I can sense Sookie's nervous apprehension as she sees an entire room of Vampires down on one knee before us, their heads bowed. I feel one last moment of worry from Sookie and then, as I knew she would, she rises beautifully to the occasion, her face serene, her head held high, and her steps perfectly in synch with my own.

We walk at a slow pace up the aisle and alight the three steps of the dais. Once we have ascended, we turn and stare out at the crowd as the Vampires present rise to their feet. Then I let go of Sookie's hand and she walks behind my throne and stands slightly to the right of it, next to Rasul. Once she is positioned, I take my throne and the evening begins.

The first order of business for the evening are the fealty pledges from new Vampires in the state. Each Sheriff brings their new residents before me and each new Vampire goes down on his or her knees and pledges their existence to my service and to the defense of Louisiana and Arkansas. Tonight there are about twenty new pledges and it takes around an hour to get through them all. Then come the petitions, anything from a desire for money for a new business venture to pleas of help in extricating a maker or progeny from trouble. This goes on for about another hour and then the main event, as I've taken to calling it, begins; the disputes and punishments.

Tonight's crop of disputes is relatively light in terms of number but heavy in terms of the gravity of the grievances. This is the most difficult part of being a monarch: it's part detective work, finding the right questions to get to the truth of a dispute when both parties want only to say what will paint their side of the story in the best light, and part performance, proving to the assembled audience, with each judgment passed down, that you possess the right mix of fairness and strength to lead. I end up having to hand down one final death and, when I pronounce the sentence, I feel the discomfort that has radiated from Sookie all night spike sharply. I try to ignore it for now and concentrate on bringing the night to a close.

After three long hours, the final grievance has been heard and Rasul pronounces this session of court closed. I rise slowly from my chair and hold out my hand. Sookie comes to my side immediately and together we descend the steps and walk down the aisle to the door, each vampire going to his knees once more as we pass. I hurry Sookie up the stairs, back to the blue rooms and, when the guard stationed at the door closes it behind us, I feel a sense of deflation from her, as though she's shucking a heavy coat and breathing easy for the first time in five hours. I do not wait for her to speak first.

"You were wonderful tonight." I begin. "But I could feel your discomfort the whole time, especially when I handed down punishments. Sookie, this is my duty as King and I am sure that I do not need to tell you that Vampires require a firm hand." I hesitate before asking the question that wants to burst out of my chest. "Can you live with this part of my life?" I hate even letting the words leave my mouth, but that is because I am truly not sure of what her answer will be.

Sixty-five years ago, Sookie refused to even give me a chance because she did not wish to be associated with our politics. She thought them cruel and terrifying and believed me to be so as well. She only truly gave me the opportunity to prove that I could love her when I had been stripped of all of trappings that make me powerful, by Hallow's curse. When my memories returned and that more gentle version of me re-merged with the part of me that is capable of great cruelty, she turned away from me, unable to accept the entirety of my being, closing off her heart and never truly opening it to me again until now. Part of me fears that, despite the clear evidence that she has in fact grown up in the last half century, she may still not want to be a part of this world, especially not to the extent of becoming a full participant, as I wish her to be. My heart aches at the prospect of this and where that leaves us.

"It was difficult, I won't lie to you." She begins. "I've never been comfortable with Vampire politics or the Supernatural world, you know that." Sookie looks away from me for a moment and I can feel her trying to order her thoughts. The tension is thick between us and a small part of me is already preparing myself for the inevitability of letting her go. "But honestly, what I hated most about it was the brutality. The sense that violence and cruelty were given free rein without so much as a thought for justice or due process. Vampires wanted something, so they took it. They treated both humans and each other as objects, without so much as a passing thought for the wants and desires of those whose lives they hurt. I saw it with Bill, I saw it with Sophie-Anne, I saw it with DeCastro, I saw it in many of the Vampires who were brought before you tonight.

But Eric, what you did down there, no matter how uncomfortable it might have made me, wasn't brutality or cruelty. I might not have wanted to see it, any more than I might want to sit in a human court room and see someone condemned to death, but it was not brutal or cruel. I understand, now more than ever, that Beings with greater power require a tighter leash. Your world is different than the human one I was raised in, which I've been trying to hide in all these years, but I saw clearly tonight that you are a wise and fair King. You are Justice and, despite my feeling out of my element, I was proud to be yours!" The words are barely out her mouth before she is in my arms.

I press her as tightly to me as I possibly can without hurting her and take her lips with mine, both of my hands winding into her hair and holding her there. We kiss for a small eternity before I allow her to breath and, as she does, I look deeply into her eyes so that I may see the truth of her words while I hear them from her mouth and feel them through our bond.

"Then you will not leave me? You will not let this", I say, gesturing with my head to our surroundings and, by extension, the purpose for them, "to drive you away again?" Sookie looks at me and I feel a sharp stab of emotion from her, before she shakes her head.

"No Eric, I won't let this drive me away. I won't let anything keep us apart anymore. To have you back in my life, back in my life like this, so many things, bad things, had to happen. I won't take for granted ever again what we have, or how I love you, and I won't let all the sacrifices that had to be made to bring you and I here together again be for nothing." With that, it's Sookie who pulls my head down to hers, her lips claiming mine in a kiss so deeply filled with devotion and promise that it almost breaks me.

When our lips part I look into her eyes as my hand reaches around and undoes the zipper of her dress. I lower it all the way and remove my hand, the beautiful filmy blue fabric falling to the floor and leaving Sookie in nothing but a barely there blue thong and her satin shoes. Sookie steps out of the puddled dress, moving another inch close to me, her beautiful full breasts swaying slightly with her movements. My mouth literally waters as they hypnotize me with their movement and I close the last inch between us in a daze.

What is between us this time is gentle and reverent as we take our time, demonstrating to each other through touch and kiss and caress, how deeply our love and desire for each other runs. When Sookie cries out from the release my hands and mouth bring her, I simply hold her in my arms and cradle her tiny, fragile form, allowing her to recover completely before turning us on our sides to face each other on the sheets.

Going up on one elbow, I bring her body flush against mine, her beautiful breasts pressed against my chest, one leg resting across my thigh, and enter her slowly. As I feel myself slide deep within her, claiming her heart, body, and soul and molding all three to fit to me perfectly, I bring my other hand up to cradle her face, tilting it upward so that, as we make love, I can taste her sweet lips over and over. Between our kisses I whisper to her, telling her all my hopes and dreams for us and for our future. As we near our peaks, I break our last kiss and hold her eyes tightly with mine.

"I love you, Sookie." I say to her, the intensity in my voice seeming to draw her out of her orgasmic haze. "You are mine now, before all who know me. I will have you in every way, love you and lay claim to you in every way I know, for the rest of our lives!" Sookie cries out first, her pleasure overtaking her and telegraphing to me. It brings my own and, as I release inside of her, I send her all my joy, all my pleasure, all my love, and all my never ending desire for her.

When we both return to this plain, Sookie tightens the leg slung over my thigh and snuggles herself into the crook between my arm and my chest, inhaling deeply the scent of my skin. Just before falling off into an exhausted slumber, I hear her whisper:

"As you are mine." Then she's asleep and dreaming, I hope, of our life together to come.


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: Hi all. I feel terrible, I faked a few people out and they thought the last chapter was the end. Sorry about that, we're going to 25 this time, so hang in there we're almost done but not quite! Thanks as always to everyone who's reviewed/alerted/favorited you all Rock and you keep me writing!_

_And as always thanks to my beta Sheknitsnicely- you are the best!_

_Disclaimer: we all know I don't own them :(_

Sookie's POV

When I wake the next night, it's to the sound of Eric's cell phone going off. I see Eric sitting up in bed beside me, eagerly hitting the accept button. He listens quietly for a moment and I can hear that there is a female voice on the other end, probably Pam. Just before he speaks I see a predatory gleam light his eyes and hear the sound of his fangs snicking down.

"Yes, good, we'll be home in two hours. Make sure they're ready." When Eric hangs up the phone he turns to me, consciously retracting his fangs and laying a gentle kiss on my lips. "We must hurry Lover. Pam has Newlin and I desire not to waste any more time. I want you to read him tonight." I feel a little frisson of fear pass through me at the thought of being in that man's head again for any length of time, but I know that there is no choice. We still need answers about how he discovered that I am a Fairy and whether or not he's responsible for the other missing Supernaturals that Eric's allies have reported, and there is no easier or more reliable way to find out than for me to speak with him.

Eric and I hurry through our showers and dressing, and then we head straight out to the airport and we're on the plane in less than an hour. When we land Bill, is waiting on the tarmac with his car to take us to Fangtasia. The ride is mostly silent, Vampires never being inclined towards small talk and me being in no mood to try and fill the silence. The club is closed when we arrive and we walk through the empty main room and down to the basement, single file.

When we reach the bottom, I'm taken by a moment of astonishment. Not because Steve Jr. is trussed up like one of the chickens my Gran used to keep when I was really small, or because he looks as though it's been a terrible few days for him but because, not two feet from him and also bound, but in much better condition, is a woman I instantly understand is his wife. I feel my stomach sink into my feet as I realize that there can only be one reason for her presence here but, for the moment, I push that aside and turn my attention to Steve Jr. Eric and I walk up to him and the man looks up at us with terror in his eyes. He says nothing, but his thoughts tell me that he knows who I am.

"Mr. Newlin, I believe that you and I are overdue for a conversation." Eric says, his voice chillingly devoid of any warmth or humanity. Newlin continues to say nothing but his eyes, which were wide with fear only moments ago, now narrow and I can hear in his head that he intends to tell us nothing. He might know that I'm a telepath and a Fairy but clearly, like so many other humans, he doesn't realize that he doesn't need to say a word and that, whether or not he wants to, he'll tell me everything that Eric and I want to know; trying not to think about it only makes my job easier.

"Let's start with my late wife, shall we, and we'll go on from there." Eric says. Over the course of the next hour Steve Jr. attempts to remain silent, yells profanities and lies with his mouth, calling me every unimaginative slur from Whore of Satan to Fangbanger to Jezabel. But despite his many tactics to keep us from getting to the truth, his mind tells me everything I want to know and it's utterly and completely sickening.

I already knew the things he'd done to Layla and the things he wanted to do to Eric. Now I find out the rest. In addition to his inner circle of bigoted scum, there is a central pastor in every city who receives his instructions and communicates potential targets to him. Lindsey's sister-in-laws's pastor is his 'commander' in the Shreveport area. When he went to Newlin with news that a Fangbanger waitress, with connections to one of Louisiana's most prominent Vampires, was willing to spy on them, it was like Christmas come early. Even though Lindsey never did more than relate conversations she'd heard while snooping between waiting tables, it was enough.

Newlin tells us that he recognized me on sight at the Fellowship center that day, something that I already knew, but if I didn't despise him so much I would give him credit for not letting his disbelief get the better of him as most humans would. They would dismiss it as impossible and seek to comfort themselves with reasonable delusions. Instead, Newlin had dear old Hal, who wanted to fuck me in any dimly lit corner, follow me at a distance. I was so distraught after leaving, that I never noticed , sure enough, Hal was witness to me destroying my hotel room with a burst of light and then simply disappearing into thin air. Since the few fae and part fae that still remain in this realm are known to humans, it didn't take long for Steve Jr. to figure out what that meant I was and, coupled with his knowledge of who I was, he simply put two and two together.

When the Fellowship center was destroyed that night, he knew that my visit hadn't been coincidence and therefore that I was connected to Eric in some way. He had my farmhouse watched and, when it was clear that I wasn't coming back, he had Lindsey keep her ears out at Fangtasia. It wasn't long before I was mentioned in any number of conversations between Pam and Eric. The flowers were actually not a genuine attempt to kill me, though I'm guessing if it had worked he wouldn't have been mourning at my funeral. It was rather an attempt to confirm his hunch that I was, in fact, part Fairy. The thugs in the parking lot at Fangtasia weren't, strictly speaking, an attempt to kill me either, just killing any of us off was never his goal. No, when Newlin thinks about what he actually had in store for me, it's far, far worse and it makes me so sick that I'm grateful I don't have anything in my stomach to throw up. He wanted to add me to his menagerie. Outside of Austin, Texas, in the desert, he has a camp where he's holding many other supernaturals, probably many of the ones that have gone missing, and using them as test subjects. He has been trying to find better ways to torture and kill us all. Since there aren't many Fairies left, he figured a half breed would do.

Strictly speaking, he wanted Layla for the same reason too, but of course there were all sorts of side benefits to her capture. Not only did it give him a half demon to play with, but it also silenced a prominent opposing voice, and hopefully sent a message to other Supernatural to shut up and stop fighting for their rights or it would happen to them too. When she put up a fight though, he knew that he would have to break her further before having her transported the long distance to Texas, which is why she never left New Orleans.

But the thing that he didn't know, the last piece of the puzzle, is perhaps the most astonishing thing, given his rather extensive knowledge of everything else Supernatural, and for once, when I hear this, I have to say that I'm completely in support of Vampires and their crazy secrecy. Steve Jr. didn't know who Eric was, or the extent of the power that he was taunting when he targeted Layla, Eric and afterwards, myself. He knew that Eric was a prominent businessman and an influential Vampire, but he never dreamed that the power structure and level of organization that the Vampires have, existed and he had no idea that he had messed too many times with a respected, revered, and feared Vampire King; a King with a great many allies and a great deal of power. He thought he could hurt and kill Supernaturals at his desire because they were too barbaric and subhuman to unite to defend themselves. When we have everything we need from Steve Jr. Eric and I head upstairs to discuss it all, leaving him and his wife alone with the guards.

"What are you going to do now?" I ask, as soon as we're inside his office with the door closed. Eric sits behind his desk and, even though I know Vampires can't get tired, his body language screams that he's bone weary.

"I and my allies will liberate the camp and destroy the Fellowship." He replies, his voice even, as though the answer is simple…inevitable.

"Eric, you can't do that. I have held my piece, but I can't anymore! If you destroy the Fellowship you'll turn the rest of the Humans against you and, by extension, the whole supernatural world. They won't know what really happened, they'll see you as a terrorist and as the one in the wrong. You're getting yourself in a deeper mess this way! Don't you see that? You'll turn a conflict with the Fellowship into an open war between Humans and Supernaturals!" Eric's hand slams down on his desk and the look he pins me with when our eyes meet is terrifying.

"WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO?" He screams. "Would you have me sit idly by, while the Fellowship is given free rein to target and murder as they see fit? Will you have me stand by and wait until he is finally successful in murdering you? You heard him, Sookie, it is not enough to murder him or his inner circle; there are people everywhere, all over the country, who believe that they are doing God's work by handing over Supernaturals to be tortured, experimented on and killed. The man is little better than Hitler, and, like Hitler, he is achieving his goals by the active participation or silent complicity of a great many people!

I am a King! I have allowed this man to live this long, even though he captured and killed my wife- my Queen! If I do not destroy him, I will be seen to be weak and then I will be fighting the Fellowship and any petty usurper who thinks they have a shot at my throne!" I stood in silence while Eric said his piece, but I felt my anger rising incrementally throughout speech.

"That's it then. You're going to start a war that will affect the entire Supernatural and Human worlds because you're afraid of looking weak? You refuse to look for another solution, simply because your appearance of strength demands it? And what about Newlin's wife? Why is she here Eric? What part does she play in appeasing your ego?" Eric's eyes narrow to slits and his fangs slam down so hard that it appears they've broken the skin of his gums slightly.

"Appeasing my ego? Is that really your opinion of me? This has nothing to do with my ego, this has to do with vengeance, this has to do with justice! He killed my WIFE! He would kill you and anyone else he pleases for his sick beliefs! I am exacting the revenge my wife's soul demands and keeping my people safe!" He says the last with deadly ice in his voice, but I don't back down.

"You didn't answer my question. What is his wife doing here?" I say again. Eric stands up from his desk and walks over to me slowly, methodically, allowing me time to back away if I so choose, but I don't. When he stops, he's directly in front of me, invading my personal space as he does all the time, but this time there is nothing charged or erotic about the feeling of him so close. I feel, instead, a slight twinge of fear. The veil of humanity that he usually wears is very thin indeed right now and his monster is very close to the surface, brought out by Newlin's heinous plans, by the grief for his wife that Newlin's words have brought back up to the surface and by this argument. When he finally answers me, his words come out as slow and methodical as his steps had been.

"I will kill his wife, exactly as he killed mine. I will make her suffer every pain and every indignity and I will make him watch. And only when it is done will I take him to join her!" I don't realize at first that the gasp of horror that fills the room is my own. I'm too caught up in the vile pictures that I saw in Steve's head and my own disgust that the man I love, no matter how injured, no matter how angry, would willingly visit that kind of revolting torture on any woman, innocent or not. Without even thinking about it, I feel my hands come up and grab Eric's upper arms, trying to pull him to me. He comes into my arms with very little resistance, but he stands as still as stone once he's there.

"Eric, don't do this." I plead. "I know that your world is different than mine. I know that you're a King and, as much as I disagree, I'll support you in this war if that's what you think has to happen; you are the one responsible for the lives of others, not me. But please, please do not hurt her. Do not do to one more woman what was done to Layla, or what was done to me! No one deserves that, no matter what evil they've committed or what evil they've been complicit in. She isn't ignorant of what he's done, but she isn't a part of it either. Please don't do this!" Eric remains stoic and cold through my whole speech. I'm desperate to find a way to get through to him. If I thought that going down on my knees would help, I would, but I can feel through the bond that he is not receptive to anything right now. Still, I try once more.

"Eric I told you that I was proud to be yours last night; seeing you wield justice and be part of the good, no matter how different it might have been to me. But this isn't Justice. This isn't necessary. There has to be a better way-a better way to handle this war and a better way to mete out their punishment. If you do this to her, if you do to her what others have done to me, then I can't stand by you anymore. I can't forgive you for willingly doing to another what nearly destroyed me, what did destroy you wife. I love you, you know that, but **I** can't be complicit in that." Again, I get nothing from his face or from our bond and I know that there isn't any more for me to say. Bowing my head so that he won't see my tears, I flee from the room and, as I'm heading out the front door, I smack into something large and solid. Looking up I nearly fall over with shock when I see who I've run into.

"Niall? What are you doing here?" I say, my manners completely thrown out the window as my brain struggles to process one more surprise this night. My great-grandfather smiles kindly down at me and takes me in a gentle hug. I come without protest, too worn out to even try to understand.

"The Vampire is very resourceful. He found a way to contact me in Fairy and alerted me to some startling, but on the whole, welcome news about you, child." I just stare up at him for a long moment unable to figure out what he's talking about. Then it dawns on me that he's been utterly clueless about the onset of my powers and my apparent transformation. Part of me realizes that I don't have the option to turn him away, but another part of me just wants to curl into a ball, put my hands over my ears and try to drown everything out.

Niall is here to 'help' me, I may or may not have just broken up with Eric for the second time and he's probably down in the basement as we speak, torturing Ms. Newlin before killing her and her husband and starting a bloody conflict that could destroy the world. Niall seems to sense my distress and he takes my hand gently and looks down at me with kind eyes.

"Can I take you someplace more suitable for us to talk?" He says. I just nod and tell him that I'd like to go home, although how much longer Eric's house is going to be my home, I have no idea. Niall asks me to picture where I want to go, which I do, but it's his magic that takes us there. When we pop into the kitchen, I feel a great deal of gratitude that he spared me the energy it would have taken for me to do it myself. I just don't have any reserves right now.

"Thank you." I say softly, the relief evident in my voice. Niall only inclines his head slightly to let me know he has heard me. "Can I offer you something?" I ask. "I was thinking of making a pot of tea." Niall smiles brightly at my offer.

"A cup of tea would be lovely, thank you child." He says gently. When the tea is ready, I serve us and sit across from him at the dining room table. Niall takes a few small sips and then it seems he feels ready to begin our conversation.


	22. Chapter 22

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Sookie's POV

"Child, I must begin by apologizing to you. Northman's message was not extensive, but I gather that you have acquired a great range of skills that you did not possess before. I am sorry that there was no one here to guide you." I just nod at that.

"Dr. Ludwig says that I'm becoming more and more like a real Fairy. How is that possible?" Niall frowns into his tea when I ask him that, but he doesn't contradict the statement. Instead, when he finally does look at me, it's with a good deal of awe.

"You are indeed far more Fae than you were the last time we met. I have no doubt that the good Dr.'s assessment is accurate. Please, tell me everything." I take a deep breath and do just that. I tell him about the infertility, about the stop to my aging (although that part is fairly obvious since I'm approaching ninety-three and I still don't look any older than twenty-five), I tell him about my iridescence, the light that shoots from my hands, my teleporting, the wild and unpredictable things that happen when I lose control of my magic and my latest little gift; the freezing thing. I tell him that Eric can taste how much more Fae my blood is and how different my scent is, and then I just wait. Niall takes a long moment to digest all of this and then he answers me measuredly.

"My child, again I am sorry. I had no idea that this would happen to you. The truth is that such things have happened only once or twice before to part-Fae Humans, but it is an extreme rarity and the set of circumstances that surround each case have never been the same twice. I could venture a guess and say that, because you possess the essential spark, the Viking's ancient blood has somehow caused that spark to ignite, but that would be mere conjecture. To my knowledge there are no Fae, or even part-Fae, who have ever before been bonded to a Vampire. I guess the only thing that I can tell you is that you have been blessed…though I can see from your expression that you do not see it that way." I feel myself getting very angry, but I try to hold it down. At least part of this anger isn't directed at him but at the other terrible events of the night and I know that, no matter what, I need his help.

"No, I don't, but I suppose what I think about it is irrelevant. It's happening, so it needs to be dealt with. I have another question for you though." I say. Niall nods, but I find that, when I'm about to ask it, it sticks in my throat, I'm so fearful of the answer. Still, I have to know. "How long will I live?" My voice is small when I say it, but I'm proud of myself for asking nonetheless. When Niall hears my question, he smiles at me with genuine delight. So I already know that I'm not going to like the answer.

"I can tell that you are indeed more Fae, as I said. If your transformation does take you to the point at which you become a full Fairy then, conservatively, you may expect to live about fifteen hundred years, possibly two thousand. And during that time your will not age much more that you already have." If Niall had hit me with an iron bar he couldn't have wounded me more. The implications of everything he's just said wash over me like acid. I'm going to live fifteen hundred years. I am almost a hundred now so I will live for, conservatively as he put it, another fourteen hundred years. In that time I will, more that likely, become a complete Fairy, which means that, even if by some miracle of God I haven't just ended any hope of a life with Eric and he and I find a way to settle our differences, at some point I will become utter and complete heroin to him, and I will have to leave him to save my own life.

It's not exactly that I didn't know this before. Dr. Ludwig is nothing if not bluntly clear. It's more that so much had happened so fast in the last, almost, nine months that I hadn't really stopped to think about the implications. Or maybe the truth is, like everything else in my life that I haven't wanted to deal with, I allowed myself to indulge in a state of utter denial until the truth came up and smacked me so hard it couldn't be ignored anymore. Maybe, just as I'd done with my infertility and the onset of my powers, I'd just been willfully ignoring the truth and hoping that if someone who actually knew what was going on, like Niall, came along, they would smile and wave their hand dismissively and tell me not to worry, I had been making it all out to be far worse than it actually was. And just like it was with my infertility, when I realized that my delusions were being pulled out from under me, it hurt like I was being ripped apart bodily.

Gran always said that God never put a trial before a person that He knew the person couldn't handle, but right now I think, were she still here, I might actually get her to change her mind on that score. How much more suffering can there be for me? I lost my dreams of children and 'normal' so long ago and yet, even when I try to dream a new dream, I'm smacked back down. I cannot have children, I cannot have a normal life, now I cannot have love either. Am I destined to be alone literally forever?

"You are thinking of your Vampire, are you not?" Niall asks his voice implying a compassion that I begin to wonder if he really feels. I simply nod my head. "I am sorry, child. I know that you love him greatly. But in a life as long as yours will be, you will see that love comes easily when you welcome it." If he means his words to be comforting, they are not. I have wandered around the Earth for over forty years and I can attest that, in this time, I have seen that love does not come easily or often; bed mates yes, true love no. When I only glower at him as a reply, Niall puts his hand over mine.

"I know this is hard for you now child, but I might be able to offer you a great help, one that you have not previously considered." I look up at him and, even though I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, I do. Perhaps he knows of some way to mask the taste of my blood as well as my scent. Perhaps there is a way to use my magic to appear less Fae! "You could come back to Fairy with me." Time seems to stop when he utters those words, just as if I had frozen it.

"What?" I ask softly, trying to keep my swimming head from dropping beneath the water and drowning me. Niall smiles that genuine, compassionate smile once more and squeezes my hand.

"You are becoming a full Fairy, Sookie. Where should you be but with others of your kind? You would be accepted beyond doubt with my people. Your spark has ignited, something so rare it is viewed as a mystical event, and you are of Royal blood. My people would welcome you with open arms and treat you as the Princess that you would be. My people have found that returning to the purity and healing magic of our home has helped many more reproduce and it is likely that, after a few decades or perhaps more, you would, with a full Fairy partner, be able to have children. There is an entirely different life that awaits you, child, if you wish it. One in which you could be as normal as all the others around you, and respected as you have never been in this world." With that, Niall rises from the table. "I sense your Vampire approaching. I think I should leave you for the night. I will contact you again tomorrow, child, and we can talk further." With that, Niall pops out of the room, leaving me stunned into near catatonia by his words.

Even though it feels like an eternity, it's probably no more than two minutes before Eric walks through the door, his shoulders slumped and his head down. When he sees me sitting at the table, though, I feel through our bond that a ray of hope lights in him. Eric walks over to me and crouches down in front of my chair.

I turn slightly to face him and, for a long minute, we don't say anything. Instead, we let the bond soothe us and calm the emotions that are raging within us both. Eric sends me the strongest waves of love that I have ever felt from him, but also remorse, no doubt at the argument we had. I send him back the same, but I can't tell if my feelings are really transmitting since everything that has happened tonight, especially Niall's last words, is threatening to put me into emotional overload and the only way my body seems to be able to deal with it is to go numb. After an endless moment, Eric takes my hand and kisses it gently.

"They both still live. I did not harm her and I did not allow anyone else to either." He says quietly. His words seem to draw me from my stupor and allow me to focus on something.

"I don't understand. You seemed so adamant in your office." My voice is quiet, because, after everything that has happened tonight, I am afraid to even hope that Eric might have something good to say. Eric frowns deeply for a moment, taking a deep, unnecessary breath and, through our bond, I feel something extraordinary. Eric is about to admit that he was wrong.

"I was adamant in my office. I was filled with anger and hate at what this man had done. I felt guilty that I had let a mere Human take so much from me and righteous that my cause justified any action. I allowed myself to be swayed by my emotions. I yelled at you, I insulted you and I made you fearful of me. I am sorry. If you believe there is another way, a way that will not risk the lives of my people unnecessarily, and most importantly, a way that will keep you at my side and proud to be there then I must consider it before committing to war." I am stunned beyond belief.

"Why?" I ask, feeling that there is some deeper reason for all of this that Eric isn't admitting to. Eric's feelings are in complete disarray and it's hard for me to pick out one or another before they go flitting by but then, as always seems to be the way with him, he processes everything and comes to a conclusion, and the conclusion I feel this time is hope. A great deal of intense hope, which feels like a white light radiating out through his darkness.

"I have focused a great deal of energy these past two months on revenge for the wrongs Newlin has committed. I wanted that revenge for what he did to Layla and for what he tried to do to you. But tonight, when you told me that you could not stand by me if I allowed my actions to make me like him, I realized something. I want you more than I want revenge." He states simply, pulling me out of the chair and into his arms. Eric and I kneel on the floor for a long while and just hold each other. My heart breaks with the knowledge that he would give up his revenge to have a life with me. That he would, once again, put aside something that is in his very nature to be a man worthy of my love. My heart breaks because I don't know how to tell him that, no matter what he does, the very nature of my being means that there can never be a future for us. My heart breaks at having to let him go so soon after finding him again, at leaving him this second time when I love him so impossibly more than I did the first time.

"What if, no matter what either of us wants, there is no future for us?" I ask him, clinging to him, my face buried in his shirt. Eric pulls me away slightly and looks at me, utterly bewildered. I can feel his pain as if it were my own when it lances through him.

"Sookie?" He whispers my name as a question and it's all I can do to tell him what Niall has told me before the dam breaks and my tears start to flow. When I'm done telling him what Niall has told me about my future and there are only tears left, Eric picks me up gently and carries me through the house and down to our bedroom.

Without words, Eric undresses us both and lays me down on the bed, covering my body with his. When we're skin to skin along the length of our bodies, he makes no move to take anything further though, just holding me, his hand stroking my back, his legs entwined with mine and his forehead pressed to mine. After an eternity of just bathing in the warm comfort of his love, he speaks. His voice is gentle and reassuring.

"What Niall has said, it means nothing to me." I look at him, completely bewildered.

"How can what he said mean nothing to you? He just confirmed, that at some point in the next fifteen hundred years, you will wake up one night and be unable to stop yourself from making a meal of me. How can you say that means nothing to you?" I ask incredulously. Eric's face takes on a softness that matches his voice.

"I can say it because it is true. You will not wake up tomorrow a full Fairy, there is time. I will use that time to find a way for us to remain together. Even if you did wake up tomorrow as Fae as Niall, I will not allow such a thing to come between us. You are mine and I am yours; that is the only truth that means anything to me." Until this moment, I thought I had no more tears left. I thought that, between Steve Jr. and our fight and Niall's revelations, there was nothing left inside me to come out, but I was wrong and, hearing him say it as if it's so simple, as if it's so obvious, breaks the dam inside me again. But this time in happiness that creates the tears that track down my face, not despair.

Again, I am unable to understand how this man can love me so much. I bury my head in Eric's chest and cry for a long time and, when I'm done, I feel purged of a great deal of dark emotion and lighter than I have in days. So light, in fact, that something that I've felt tapping at the back of my head all night suddenly comes into sharp focus. Looking up at Eric, whose face goes from tender love to surprise, I feel almost giddy.

"What is it?" He asks me. I can tell that the sudden shift in my emotions concerns him, even though I'm sure he doesn't actually feel anything disturbing.

"Eric, I know how to prevent the war." I sit up straight in bed and look at him, my face probably ridiculously contorted by my sudden happiness. Eric sits up as well, making a 'continue' motion with his hands. "It's so simple! The media. What you need when that camp is liberated is not swords, but cameras. With proof undeniable of what they've done broadcasted to every living room in the country, the authorities won't have any choice but to prosecute Newlin and his cronies. But what's more, when people- normal, everyday people- see what the Fellowship has been doing, support for their cause will die. Have Stan contact the Vampires on the police force in Austin and have them raid the place. They will follow their King. All we have to do is alert the media and make sure that they're there when Newlin's torture victims are being freed. If you glamour the Newlins and have them hand over all the documentation they have as well, there will be no question of their guilt. I promise you Eric, it will end the Fellowship without one more unnecessary Supernatural or Human death!" Eric says nothing, thinking over the merits of my plan for a long while and, just when I'm about to prompt him, I feel a warm bubble of satisfaction radiating off him.

"You were always one for thinking sideways, weren't you Sookie. Seeing the things that no one else sees! Yes, I think you are right! You're plan will work. However, I wish you to understand that, any that escape prosecution for their crimes or flee successfully will be hunted and killed by my order. Are we agreed?" Eric actually holds out his hand to me, offering to shake on a gentlemen's agreement. I smile just a little bit as I meet his eyes and firmly shake the hand he offers. After that, he pulls me to him in an ardent kiss and I come willingly but, when he releases me to breathe, I can't help the yawn that escapes me. Eric chuckles, laying me back down on the bed and kissing my forehead.

"Sleep, lover. It's been a long night for you. I will make the necessary arrangements to put your plan into action and join you in a little while." Eric kisses me again and gets up to leave the bed and he isn't even at the door before I'm completely and totally asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: Hi all. Well here we are, one chapter closer. I'll be posting the final two chapters of this story together this Thursday. As always I want to thank everyone who's reviewed/alerted/favorited it just makes my day and warms my heart. And I have to thank my beta Sheknitsnicely for editing this chapter not once but twice! You are the best!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Sookie's POV

I'm woken early (well, early for me) the next day by my cell phone going off. When I answer Niall is on the other end.

"Child, I hope I did not wake you?" He begins. "I was hoping that I could meet you this afternoon to talk more and begin working on your powers. Would that be acceptable?" I look at the clock. It's just before one in the afternoon.

"Yes, can we meet in two hours?" I ask him.

"Of course child. If you are amenable, let's meet at your farmhouse. It is rather secluded and will provide us with privacy." I tell Niall that would be fine and we disconnect. Getting up, I shower and dress quickly and then leave a note for Eric, telling him where I'll be. The trip to Bon Temps is longer than usual since I'm driving, instead of in the passenger's seat being driven by insane, speed demon Vampires, so I use the opportunity to think about everything.

Last night felt like a true turning point in my relationship with Eric. He chose me, truly, over his instincts and over his past. His words to me over the last few months have been wonderful, but his actions mean a hundred thousand times more. Eric has said that he wants me to be a participant in his life, both public and private, and that he wishes to move forward and not dwell in the past, but last night he proved it in no uncertain terms. Not only will he try things my way, but he stopped himself from venting his blood lust and his need for vengeance, when I know those emotions run strong in the part of him that is Vampire. He did these things for me, because I could not stand by a man who tortured a woman to death or who threw the whole Supernatural world into conflict to appease his personal wounds. He proved, last night, that his love for me is the guiding force behind his decisions now, and I love him all the more for it.

I don't know if Eric will ever be able to find a solution to our Vampire/Fairy problem, no matter how resourceful he is but I know that, if anyone can, it would be him, and I'm willing to trust in him. He's protected me, loved me, found Niall to help me when the rest of my family refused to help me, and now he's deferred to my judgment. I cannot ask him for more proof of his love and I know that his love is the only love I want.

When I told Eric that I had been mostly alone these forty years, I wasn't lying. In terms of emotional companionship, there was almost no one, but it doesn't mean that I didn't look for it. There were not overly many, but the few men who came in and then quickly out of my life were proof undeniable that what I wanted was the love that I had lost. It's not a lesson that I'm willing to learn a second time.

When I pull into the driveway at the Farmhouse, Niall is sitting in the swing waiting for me. I park the car and get out, calling hello to him.

"Hello child, I am glad to see you again today!" He says jovially. I greet him in return and, for the next two hours, I show him what I can do. I show him my iridescence, the light that shoots from my hand and my teleporting, all things I have mostly under control. Niall compliments my glowing and my skills with the light in my hand and helps me work on my teleporting. By the time the first hour is over, I'm able to take objects with me while popping from one place in the yard to the other.

The next hour we spend working on controlling my magic when it wants to get out of hand and Niall helps me work on dampening the rise of my magic so that, when I get emotional, I can essentially cork it. When we're done he asks me to sit on the swing with him and we talk about my freezing episode. Niall explains how it works and that all fairy magic essentially works the same, so now that I know I can do it I should be able to control it, as I do my other powers. He also asks me to try a few things that I have not been able to do yet, such as telekinesis, which doesn't work (thankfully) and popping another object while not moving myself, which does. Niall also tells me about a few other things that I may be able to do in the future that I can't do now, so I'll be prepared if it comes up, and he offers to contact a full Fairy in Ireland that would be willing, at the Prince's command, to come once a month or so and help me with refining my powers.

"Thank you." I say to him when we're finished. Niall smiles down at me and then takes my hand.

"Have you given any thought to my offer?" He asks gently. I feel the frown cross my face.

"To be honest with you, no. I love Eric and I want to stay with him, no matter what is happening to me." I say, with what I hope sounds like finality. I don't want to insult my grandfather as I know, to him, this is a very great honor he's offering me, even if I don't see it that way. Niall frowns in return.

"I'm sorry to hear that child. I truly believe that you would be happy in Fairy. I have to tell you that I'm quite surprised to find you with the Viking. I don't keep tabs on this realm very often, but the last I heard he had married. From what I knew, his Queen was a gracious woman, beloved by all who knew her. Their happiness was well known. I admit to being surprised to find that you have taken him back." I look up at Niall, and the emotions swirling within me feel a little out of control at his words.

"He was married. She died about nine months ago." I say, cautiously. Niall raises an eyebrow at that.

"And so he has come back to you. I see. Well, you are blood bonded. I suppose it is in a Vampire's nature to retreat to their blood when they are wounded." This time it's my eyebrows that go sky high.

"Niall, what are you implying?" I ask, the defensiveness clear in my voice. Niall takes my hand in his own again and pats it in a fatherly way.

"I am not implying anything, my child, only stating the facts as I see them. Are you sure you want to live your life in the shadow of another woman? It seems to me that you are choosing to fight an uphill battle and remain with a man who is undeserving of your affections, who may never be able to return them fully. You are a Fairy Princess, whether you live in Fairy or not. Yet you are choosing to be the second choice of a Vampire who is beneath you." Niall's words render me dumbstruck. I have no idea if he's trying to play on my insecurities or if he's stating facts that everyone else sees and that I've, as always, willfully ignored. As we've been sitting in the swing talking, the sun has long set and, as Niall says his last statement, I see a figure come out of the trees.

"Thank you for your help Niall, but I think it's time for you to leave." I look up and see Eric standing just in front of my car. Niall smiles a small smile when he sees Eric and stands up, raising himself to his full height.

"Your timing is impeccable, Vampire. My granddaughter and I were just finishing our discussion." Eric's eyes blaze when Niall says this and I can feel through the bond that he's only a few well placed words from exploding in rage.

"You mean that you are finished, for now, poisoning her mind against me so that she will accept your offer to return to Fairy with you!" He yells. Niall only smiles down on him.

"As I said, I am only imparting the facts to her as I see them." Niall turns to me now and takes my hand, kissing it. "I will stay in this realm for one more day child. I will contact you again tomorrow and, hopefully, we can finish our conversation uninterrupted." With that Niall pops away, leaving Eric and me in my front yard, alone. Eric walks up the steps and comes to lean on the railing, facing me.

"You did not tell me last night that Niall had made you this offer." He says quietly. I can feel the bond between us is suddenly muted for the first time in a very long time and, when I look up at Eric, I see that his expression is guarded.

"A lot happened last night, it didn't seem like the most relevant topic among all the others we needed to cover." I say plainly. Eric's eyes narrow for an instant and then his guarded expression returns.

"You turned him down just now?" He questions. I just nod my head. "And so, when you did not accept his offer on the first try, he thought he would attempt a more round-a-bout form of persuasion." I look up at Eric now, and I feel a great deal of sadness come over me.

"No, Niall is nothing if not direct. Last night he attempted to tell me that I could have a child if I went to Fairy and mated with a full Fae, and today he told me that you will never love me as you loved your wife and that your people will never accept me. He also implied that everyone would know that I was merely second best with you, as your happiness with Layla was widely recognized." My voice is quite neutral, just stating the facts with no real feelings behind them.

"Do you believe him?" I look at Eric, quite stunned by his question, but find he's completely serious.

"I can't refute his claim that I could have a child if I went to Fairy; there isn't any real way of knowing that unless I take him up on his offer, is there? As for the rest, I suppose that's for you to say and not me." When I finish, Eric pushes off the railing and goes to his knees between my legs.

"No Sookie, it's not. I could say it to you a million times a day, but if you don't know it, in your heart, then nothing I say will ever matter." He tells me, and suddenly I feel the bond completely reopen. I feel, with perfect clarity, the depth of his emotion for me and the truth of his love. He pushes it at me like a tidal wave, and it's all I can do not to fall against the back of the swing.

"I was happy, as happy as I could ever be without you. I did love, as much as I could ever love without you. I banished you to a corner of my heart and kept you caged there, because it was the only way that I could continue to live, if I did not live with you. My wife was as perfect as Niall says she was, and all who saw her knew it. But what they did not see, what I never let anyone see, even her, was that all her perfection could only staunch the flow of the blood that seeped from the wound you left in my heart. That wound can only be closed- can only healed- by you, Sookie.

In this past year, you have given me the gift of your friendship in my hour of need, you have given me the gift of your patience as my heart came to terms with everything that I felt and everything that I had been trying to convince myself of for decades, and you have given me the gift of your forgiveness, allowing me back into your heart after I hurt you and abandoned you, never lashing out at me for my sins, even though that blame is deserved.

Niall tells you that you would be taking her place, but this is not true. Yours were the shoes that needed filling and she was the one who tried to fill them. She did so as well as she could and, for a time, she gave me peace. But they were never her shoes Sookie, they were yours. You do not take her place, you take back your rightful place. It was you that I first swore to share my life and my worldly possessions with, and you whom I swore I would bring to my side. She may have lived there for a time, but it is your place by right, and no one else's.

Naill tells you that I run back to you because of our bond, as though there is no other reason on this earth to love you. Our bond does not tie me to you, like chains on a prisoner. Our bond is the physical proof, the symbol of my love for you. I gave you a piece of myself that could never be taken back. That night in Rhodes, in that hallway, I knew what I was getting myself into, even if you did not and I knew that, bonding the way we did, anything and everything could go wrong, as it did. But I still did it. Not to own you, not to control you, but because the thought of another being connected to you in that way, another being using that connection to hurt you, would have broken me. My love for you would not allow me to let another harm you in that way, because even before this bond connected our souls and our blood, your pain was my pain.

Whether others understand or accept what is between us is irrelevant to me. To try to please others, to attempt to get them to agree with you and the way you see things, is to sell you soul to them for a penny in return. I will not play that game. I am a thousand years old, I am Vampire and I am a King. You are my Bonded and my heart's desire, but you are also a strong telepath and a powerful Fairy and, as Niall says, a Princess in your own right. Neither of us has reason to beg the world for acceptance; those that judge us can take us as we are or take themselves somewhere else. It is only you and your opinion that matters to me.

You have come back to me as my Love and my Bonded. I desire that, when you are ready, you become my wife and, if you so choose, my Queen. I will live with you, love with you, and heed you in everything I do if you will stay with me. But I love you enough to let you go again if that is what you desire, Sookie. Though it may kill me this time, I will let you go if the dream of a child and a husband you can watch the sunset with, are still the things you desire most in life. The decision is yours." When Eric is done, he stands up, leaning over to kiss my forehead and then he's gone, leaving me on my porch swing to think about everything.

I sit and think for a long time. I sit until my arms and legs are numb from the cold and the sky is as black as ink. For so long, I clung to the hope that my life could be normal. To go to Fairy would fulfill that hope. It is possible that I could find someone else to love again. I loved Sam a great deal, no matter what other people thought my motivations were. And the dream of a child of my own is still a raw place in my heart, no matter how I push it down. In Fairy I would be just like everyone else, normal for there, and not looked down upon or thought of as a freak. These are dreams that I've had for a very long time. Dreams that I thought I could never truly achieve. Niall has offered me something very big, I know this, and it's tempting. It's so tempting. The dream that I had for so long, dangled in front of me like a diamond on a string. If Niall had come to me a year ago, I would have jumped at his offer and never looked back. But now…now things are different.

I know that if I stay here, I will have to live with others judging me for years to come against another woman. People will believe, whole heartedly, as people always believe what is most hurtful, that Eric is with me only because it's better than being alone. I will probably have to deal with Pam and her continued hate/indifference/grief/blame for a long time, despite the fact that I know I bear no blame in her friend's death. This despite the fact that she has no right to place blame in the things that happened between Eric and I, which were for us to work out, and which we have. I will have to accept the possibility that I might continue to be alone with my powers, as Niall's offer of a tutor may never have been genuine, or might simply evaporate when I turn him down. I will have to accept the possibility that Eric and I may never find a way around the fact of my continued transformation into a full Fairy.

If I go to Fairy, I can have the easy path and maybe the dreams that I had always hoped for. If I stay here, the road ahead will be hard, but I will have one thing here that I can have nowhere else. I will have the love that I always knew, even when I fought against it, could be the defining happiness of my life. And in the end, the knowledge that this love is here renders my choice moot. There is only one place I can ever be and be happy; not complete, but happy. With my Bonded, with my Lover, with my heart and with my soul, with my Eric. Because, no matter who has been in either of our lives, we have always belonged to each other. Niall's attempt to make me question Eric's motivations and to play on my insecurities was well done but, as I promised myself in the car before seeing him, no amount of pressure or fear or hardship, no distant dream that may or may not be possible, will ever keep me from the love that I know will make me truly happy again!


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Wow, so here they are, the last two chapters! I can't say thank you enough to everyone who reviewed/alerted/favorited this story, it really, really kept me writing! I've talked to some people about the possibility of writing a sequel to this story which would follow Eric and Sookie into their HEA. If it's something y'all are still interested in let me know, I'm very seriously considering it._

_Last but not least I want to thank my awesome, amazing, adorable beta Sheknitsnicely for all of her help with this story, she has absolutely slaved away and I cannot thank her enough!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Eric's POV

I simply sit. I do not ponder, I do not think, I do not dare to hope. I simply sit, on the barstool in my kitchen, the same barstool where we shared our first real kiss in sixty-five years only a few months ago. I want, more than anything, to believe that Niall's petty attempts at manipulation will not work on Sookie, but then, in truth, do they really have to? His barbs might have stung her, but really they are just pin pricks when compared to the dreams that she has had and lost, and that he offers her again.

How can my love be enough? This last half century or so has been so fraught with sorrow. I never realized that I could grieve so much, or so repeatedly, for the blows that life landed until my little telepath entered my life and made me feel again. And most of what I feel is pain. This time, if she chooses to leave, I will not be able to bind the wound with the love of another. I am past the somewhat innocent delusion that someone else can erase my feelings for her.

Since the night of my dream, I have wondered endlessly if it was really Layla coming to me, or simply her image conjured by my own mind to tell me it was time to let go of my grief, time to let go of the feelings of loyalty to her that were barring me from moving forward, and time to admit the truth to myself. If it was truly her then she knew. All that time that I was with her, she knew I was grieving for the love of another woman. What I told her was true; I never thought of Sookie when I was with her. But it was not because Sookie no longer meant anything to me. It was because I could never stop her from meaning something. I did not think of Sookie because I could not think of Sookie and stay sane. She knew and she accepted me anyway, and the uncomplicated love she gave me was the rest and the respite that my heart needed at the time. But no matter how grateful I will always be for those years, the truth still remains: I loved her with less than my whole heart and less then my whole soul, because those things had already been taken by Sookie. If she leaves me again, what will be left of me? Just as this new, terrible thought begins to dawn on me, just as the yawning darkness threatens to pull me under, I hear the sound of a car pulling into the garage. Fragile footsteps make their way to the door and swing it open.

I look up and I feel, for a moment, as though my mind and body are no longer in synch. My eyes see her, my nose picks up her delicious scent in the air, and my ears hear her approach, but my mind cannot convince itself that she is really here. Sookie walks towards me slowly, her face painted with an urgent look and, when she is right in front of me, standing between my legs as I sit on the bar stool, she just looks at me.

Then, without warning, I feel something. Something so strong that it threatens to topple me from my seat. Sookie is sending me the most intense waves of her love that I have ever felt and the only thing that I can do is put my hands on her shoulders and pull her forwards and into me. When she is safely encircled in my embrace, I look down at her and feel tears forming in my eyes.

"You will not leave me?" I ask, and the sound of my voice is so low and so broken that I barely recognize it as my own.

"No." She says simply, her arms coming up to wind around my neck. "My true love and I should not be apart. Even if my Bonded and I can be." The dam of my emotions breaks and suddenly I am off the barstool and kneeling at her feet. My face buries in the folds of her shirt that lay across her stomach and my arms around her waist. Sookie winds her hand into my hair and shushes me like a child. But I can't stop myself from uttering the words that fall from my mouth, over and over again.

"I love you, I have never loved another as I love you, I can never love another as I love you." Over and over I sob into her shirt, soaking it and ruining it with my bloody tears. After what could have been a moment or an hour, Sookie takes my shoulders in her hands and helps me to my feet. Walking me back through the house and down to our room, she sits me down on the bed and gently removes first my clothing and then her own, and then she comes to stand in between my legs once more.

Taking my face in her hands and tilting it up to look at her, she bends down and begins to kiss me. She lays her gentle kisses on my forehead, on my tear stained eyes and on my cheeks, before finally taking my mouth in a kiss so filled with love that I have never felt anything like it. Then she stands again and looks down at me.

I am so undeserving of this woman. I have nothing to offer her that is of any consequence. She does not care for my crown or my money or my power. All I have to give her is my heart, and the fact that she actually wants it, has wanted it this whole time, even when it was broken, astonishes me. I feel, in this moment, though that the wound that laid on it has finally closed. It is finally healed by the return of her love.

Sookie pushes me back gently and climbs on top of me, continuing to lavish my body with her healing kisses, my neck and chest, my stomach and legs. Her caress is the perfect balm to my pain and the perfect light to ignite my fire for her and, when her kisses bring her back to my face, I cradle her soft cheek in my hand and turn us over so that she is underneath me. I shower her with the same soft caresses with which she blessed me and her sighs of delight and moans of pleasure pierce me straight through the heart and soul and brand me as eternally hers. There is no going back, no turning around, no giving up what we are and how we love. I will give her everything, everything I have and everything I am, until the day that I am worthy of her, and then I will give it all to her again.

Despite the tenderness that exists between us, our passions, once let loose, soon take us over and I feel my fangs slam down hard as my kisses bring me to her beautiful breasts. Kissing the lush globes over and over again, I bring my hand down between us and find her ready and waiting for me. At any other time I would not rush us so, I would not hurry through this but, right now, the need to be buried inside of her, to feel her real and soft and warm around me, is overwhelming and so, never leaving the pillow of her breast, I push into her and feel her cry out as she again takes all of me.

We move together for an endless time, giving and taking the love and the desire between us, letting it form into one entity, driven and fed by both of us and, when the peak is suddenly there in front of us, I take her mouth with mine, swallowing her cries of pleasure and giving her my own in return. When we lie there, once more still, I look down at her send her all my love and all my joy.

She is mine! Not by our bond, but by the choice she made tonight, to stay with me and love with me and live with me for as long as we walk this earth. And I am hers not by our bond, but by the vows that I made to her tonight on her porch, and I will spend the rest of our lives proving it to her… the rest of our blessedly long lives. When I look down at Sookie again, she is sleeping peacefully underneath me. I kiss her lips gently one more time and then roll to my side and pull her up against me, sheltering myself in her warmth and her love.

Three days later Sookie, Pam, and I sit in front of the TV in my living room, the channel turned to the evening news.

"In shocking news tonight, the Reverend Steve Newlin Jr., his wife Betty Newlin and twenty ranking members of the Fellowship of the Sun church were arrested in Austin, Texas earlier this evening. Austin city police say that Newlin and his church were running a concentration camp in the desert, outside of the city, where they were holding over sixty members of the supernatural community: Weres, Shifters, Vampires and others were held against their will, tortured and experimented on. We take you now to John Clayton, who's standing outside the Austin city police department headquarters, for more…"

The news cast goes on for another five minutes, detailing the anonymous tip that alerted the police, the liberation of the camp, along with video of starved and injured people being ushered into ambulances, and the confession by Newlin and his wife of their guilt. The police confirm that Newlin turned over papers detailing their goals and the names of his "commander pastors", who helped him in procuring his victims. I look over at Sookie, who is smiling happily, and I can't help but smile as well. She prevented a war. She brought to light the crimes of the Fellowship and she is responsible for saving countless lives, both human and supernatural. And, what is more, almost everyone in the supernatural community knows it.

When my Bonded meets others of my station in the Vampire world and the Supernatural world, she will be met with nothing but respect for her enormous part in ending the Fellowship and bringing peace before the conflict ever started. My heart swells with pride that this woman is mine! We watch the news cast to the end and then I turn off the TV and go to get Pam and I two bloods, and Sookie a well deserved gin and tonic, so that we can celebrate. As I'm entering the kitchen I hear Pam turn to Sookie quietly.

"Sookie…" Pam seems at a loss for words and so I just wait in the kitchen, determined not to interrupt them until Pam has said her piece. "Sookie, I'm sorry." Pam sounds as though the words pain her.

"Pam you don't need to apologize to me." Sookie says, always so quick to let others off the hook for their sins.

"No, I do. I'm sorry for the things that I said to you before we left for Norway and I'm sorry for the way I've behaved since. I was…in the wrong. I was grieving and I took it out on you." I have no idea what Pam is talking about, but I intend to have a very long talk with her after Sookie goes to bed.

"I know Pam." Sookie says, laughing. "I'm no stranger to taking out my frustrations by yelling and blaming other people. You fucked up and you behaved like a total bitch. As long as it never happens again, let's just let it go." Pam stays silent for a little moment and, through our bond, I feel that she is in shock right now, not really believing that she's going to get off that easy. She won't be, she just doesn't know it yet.

"Thank you Sookie." She says quietly.

"Pam, for you." I say, going back into the living room and handing her a bottle of blood. "Lover, for you." Sookie takes her gin and tonic from my hand and, as she does, her hand touches mine and I feel something come across our bond from me to her; warning. I look at Sookie and she smiles slightly and shakes her head in a 'no' gesture at me. I feel the frown cross my face as I realize that she's telling me, in no uncertain terms, that I'm not to punish Pam for the conversation I just overheard.

"Thank you honey, and baby..." she says, fixing me with another hard glare, "it's between us girls, okay?" I feel the urge to fight her on this one, but it seems that I am receiving another lesson in mercy. Grimacing down at her, I nod in return and raise my blood.

"To the peace maker!" I say, clinking my glass together with Sookie's and Pam's and downing the majority of it in one gulp.


	25. Chapter 25

_Disclaimer: I own nothing…_

Sookie's POV

Norway a year and a half later

When I wake up it's already past sunset, and I look around sleepily to find that Eric is nowhere to be found. Reaching out with our bond, I feel that he is close but not in the house. I look around the room and find a lit candle on the night table next to a little note.

_Follow the lights_

_E_

Smiling to myself, I get up and put on my robe, not sure what to expect. I leave the bedroom and see that Eric has left a lit candle on each of the stairs, making a path to the door. I'm briefly happy that our new house isn't nearly as big as the old one, or he would have spent a fortune just in tea lights.

Six months after the raid that exposed the Fellowship's true nature and ended a war that humans hadn't even known they had been on the cusp of fighting or losing, Eric and I came back to Norway but stayed in a fancy hotel in downtown Stavanger instead of at the house. When I asked him why, he told me that the house had been torn down. He wanted to keep the land because it meant so much to him, being able to be so near the place where he had lived as a human, but he wanted us to have a place that was just for us, just about us, and no one else. The next night we met with an architect and, together, the three of us designed this new house. It's my favorite of all the ones we live in, and coming here feels more like home than any other place on earth.

When I get downstairs and open the door, my breath is literally taken away. The whole forest, it seems, has been strung with fairy lights, which twinkle in the tree tops and leave a soft glow over a path that leads farther into the woods.

I'm so astonished that I don't even think to put on shoes and instead just walk out onto the soft earth in my bare feet in my nightgown and robe. The lights lead back, deep into the woods, into a little clearing with a tiny brook running through it that I have always loved. Eric and I spent a great deal of time here on my first visit to this place and we have come back to this spot to picnic, or just lay down and look up at the stars many, many times.

When I enter the clearing, Eric is there, dressed in jeans and a dress shirt, the first few buttons left undone and his hair floating behind him gently in the breeze. He isn't the only thing in the clearing now though. Where once there was only the grass and the stream, there is now a beautiful gazebo which is also hung with fairy lights, making it twinkle beautifully against the darkness of the night.

I take the three steps up to him quickly and Eric takes me in his arms, holding me close and kissing me deeply. I'm nearly breathless when he lets me go and it's all I can do to ask him what's going on. Eric smiles gently and holds out his hand. I take it and he leads me to sit in one of the cushioned seats, kneeling in front of me.

"Eric, what is all this?" I ask him, feeling utterly bewildered by what's going on.

"Do you like it?" He asks, his voice as soft as velvet. I smile at him and lean down to kiss him softly.

"It's absolutely beautiful. Care to tell me what the occasion is?" I say, laughing just a little bit. Eric kisses me back with the same gentleness and, as he does, he takes my hand and drops something into my palm, closing my fingers around it before releasing my lips. Then he pulls back slightly. I feel my eyebrows go sky high, but he only gestures slightly for me to look inside my now closed hand.

Opening my hand, I feel the breath leave my body again, for the umpteenth time tonight. There, nestled in my palm, is a beautiful gold ring with three beautiful topaz blue stones surrounded by dozens of tiny diamonds. The band has beautiful scroll work all around it and inside I see that there is writing. Holding the ring up to my eyes so that I can read it, I gasp.

_The bond of true love is greater than any other tie that binds me to you._

Before I can say anything, Eric speaks, his voice filled with devotion and our bond singing with his love.

"The stones are the same color as the light you give off when you glow. I saw them and they seemed to call to me… they belong with you." Eric takes a deep breath and continues. "You have been my past, you are my present, and it is the desire of my heart that no other but you be my future. Marry me Sookie, please. I can love you the way you deserve, let me show you…forever." His words are an echo of the ones that I spoke to him on the night that I was poisoned. They were the words that ended the past and started our future and, as he says them to me now, I know that tears are slipping down my face.

As I look at him, waiting expectantly and with such hope painting his face, I feel so much inside of me. We lost each other so long ago, we tried each of us to banish the other from our minds and our hearts, but we never really could. We were never without each other, not really. We belong to one another. Not by the strength of our blood bond and not by force of the magic that created it, but by the will of our own hearts, which were too stubborn to let each other go, even when the rest of us tried to leave. I know that now and so does he.

"I don't need you to love me any other way than the way you already do." I say to him, slipping the ring onto my finger. Eric looks down at it sitting there on my finger, where it will always stay, and then leans down, turning my hand palm up and kissing the band reverently.

"The way that I love you will never, ever end. It never could and it never will." He says, softly rubbing his cheek into my palm and looking up at me with glowing eyes. I just smile and pull him to me, letting my love for him and his love for me mingle and combine and flow freely into the dark, dark night, lit only by a thousand tiny lights.


End file.
